Adoremybabe - That is so hard. My MIL stories used to be epic on MDC, lol, so I know what you mean. She now lives somewhere in Mexico w/ DH#4 or #5, we're not sure. Total nutcase. I'm not sure what I would do if she lived next door. The rest of my inlaws are awesome, wonderful people, and they have tried to make me feel welcome. It doesn't replace my parents or the rest of my family, though, who are all 2000 miles away. I miss them terribly and wish we were closer to them. Can you pack up and go visit your family for a week? Weekend? That would help give you a nice rest from MIL and the IL drama. I agree w/ the pro/con list, too. I have to write letters to DH sometimes when I'm thinking clearly, and I can edit what needs to be said, as opposed to blurting things out when I'm upset. It helps a lot, and he seems to understand where I'm coming from better. Does your DH get along w/ your family, or does he feel the same way about yours as you do his? I'm trying to understand why he wouldn't want to move closer to his work, at least. I'd say w/ the pro/con list, maybe work out how much $ in gas you would save by moving closer, he could come home for lunch, etc.
Use this example: If gas is 3.50/gallon, and your car gets 27MPG, and he works 60 miles from home, that's 2.22 gallons one way, or 4.44 gallons round trip, at a cost of $15.54 per day...$15.54 x 5 days = $77.70 per week in gas alone, that's $310.80 PER MONTH!!!
Use the same numbers, if he was only 10 miles one way from work, 0.37 gallons one way, 0.74 round trip x $3.50 = $2.59 per day x 5 days = $12.95 per week, $51.80 PER MONTH!! That's a savings of $259 per month!! I'm sure you guys could use that $$ somewhere else!! Plus, he can come home for lunch, and he can sleep a little longer in the morning, and he's home before it gets dark. Not to mention the savings on your car insurance for switching from commuter rates to low mile rates.
((yes, I'm a math nerd, leave me alone! )) ETA: You're currently spending $3,730 a year on gas, assuming it stays around $3.50/gallon and your car gets 27MPG...You'd save $3,108 a year by moving closer at those same #'s. Consider how much your DH makes in a year, and how much of that the gas spending could account for of his income. Moving closer would be like getting a raise!!
Edited by Christy1980 - 10/20/11 at 8:57am