I'm sorry you feel that way, but I'm astonished so many people think this father daughter relationship is incestual and abnormal. How sad. My dad and I are very close and have a relationship just how you described. He's always been a generous person, and not just to me.
But here's the crux of the matter and the explanation for the limits of his generosity: my dad has already had two wives. Both put him through the ringer and took him to the cleaners. So with new women? He's not so quick to 'take care of anyone' anymore. (Thank GOD). If he wants a partner, he wants a partner for companionship, not to be anyone's sugar daddy.
If you are expecting your partner to 'take care of you' the same way he takes care of his daughter, then that is on you. You aren't his child, you are his third wife and supposed to be his equal partner. If you want a BMW, go and buy yourself a BMW. If you have a concern over his spoiling his children, then raise it as a concern for her well being, not as a concern about what YOU don't get and throwing a tantrum over it. And if you are going to throw tantrums, then be very careful about calling other people spoiled.
Lucky for me, my dad's partners have been mature and accepting and embrace me the same way he does. That's because they too are grown and have their own kids, and also because they are independent and self sufficient. When you get into situations of stepfamilies and multiple marriages, you also step into a world where two people need to come into the situation as self dependent adults (i can give you first hand experiences of why it needs to be that way, particularly when it comes down to inheritances and earned pensions), not expecting a man to take care of you. He feels he has a life long obligation to help his daughter out when needed, which I think makes for a kind and loving father. He does not view marriage the same way, he expects that the woman he marries shouldn't need his help the way a child would, nor is he obligated to do so. If, fundamentally, you would prefer to be more dependent on him financially AND you can't handle him being close to his children, then I suggest you may need to move on because you are NOT going to be able to break that bond. Or, learn to accept it. I would be THRILLED to marry a man that holds his children in such high regard.
Edited by Astrogirl - 12/10/11 at 2:24am