This is so strange, but I'm suddenly scared. I mean, I'm going to do it, because I believe it is the right thing to do, but I'm scared. And I'm only 16 weeks.
I think the part that's scaring me is the labor--I like the midwives, but I want to stay home as long as possible (hospital is the only option for me). What if I have a UR at home? The nearest hospital with a maternity ward is 40 minutes away (even by ambulance), over a drawbridge that opens several times a day. I didn't feel a single contraction in my abdomen with DD, so I have no faith that I could "feel" if something were going wrong. For me, back labor felt like "something going wrong" although I guess it wasn't until the end.
My other thought is that my mother (my only female relative) had a long, difficult instrument delivery with her first (sort of like mine, OP baby that they turned manually at the last minute), and then her next baby "fell out" in 2 hours of labor, start to finish. I know this isn't a good predictor of what will happen with me, but it adds to my fear.
Any suggestions? I really don't want this fear in the way when the time comes. I know the risks, rationally, but I'm still afraid.