My dd is 5, and the light of my life. Unfortunatly, her step father and I just got a divorce, and until I get the money together, I'm still stuck in the house with him. We've tried to be as civil as possible and give each other every other weekend off away from each other but its still difficult. There are so many issues ATM...
* I have a new boyfriend, the best guy ever, for about 5 months or so. I've not had him come around yet to meet my dd for obvious reasons, given the living situtation. I see him every other week or so, go off on a Fri and come back Sun evening, but I always feel guilty not being with her
* I WOTH, 30 hrs a week. I put her on the bus for Kindergarten, and don't see her til my shift is over at 10
* Because of this, getting her to sleep is hellacious. Every night there's tantrums/neediness/saying terrible things "i hate myself, I'm so ugly and such a brat", "you don't love me anymore", and screaming bloody murder if I leave the room and don't "snuggle" for at least an hour. To counteract this, I always re-assure her, and yes, at times I give in to ridiculous demands. However, I also try hard to do activites/watch a movie/ etc. with her before getting her to school in the AM. Unfortunately, she's getting way under the 10 or so hours she needs a night and we're working up a sleep debt.
*Stepfather is also having a hard time realizing he is not her real dad, and is always second guessing me on rules and raising her. For one, the spanking. I feel that sort of discipline is only to be used in emergencies and when a child is younger to "get the point across". I don't think it is appropriate in a school age child with whom communication is easier. However, I make an approach on this subject and it leads to fights where he threatens to kick me out.
Is any of this normal and fixable? I love my dd so much and I'm so scared I've ruined her life with the whole divorce thing, I don't want her traumatized for life.