Long story short, my husband and I live on a farm and operate an agri-business which requires us to travel all over the state - taking us away from home 4-6 times per week. We have two children, ages 26 months and 6 months. I stayed home with the kids until the end of August, at that point the business was really booming and we were paying a ridiculous amount for contracted help to cover all the things that I would have been doing. So, we hired a nanny, a young lady who is the daughter of one of the families we do business with. She is 22, a single mother with her own 2 year old and was out of work. We agreed to pay her a weekly salary which is considered a VERY GOOD rate for the area in which we reside....one guarenteed day off per week....some weeks we would need her more than others as well as some overnights.
It's only been 8 weeks and I am to the point where I NEED to let her go, but my husband says that I am just being "crazy" and have some disorder where I am too critical of others. I wanted to know if any of this would fly with any other parents out there....maybe I am crazy, but I think I would be CRAZY if I continued to allow this woman in my home.
1.) She is NEVER on time. If I need her here by 9:30, I have to tell her to be here by 8:00....and even then she is likely to be late. On her second day she didn't even show up or call until it was hours past the time we needed to leave on business....this has actually cost us money a few times when we were late to certain things.
2.) I come home to a filthy house. Last week I came home to a house full of walls (untreated knotty pine wood paneling) covered in pen and marker scribbles....and I mean COVERED. Apparently she said she "slept in" and woke up to her daughter and mine coloring the walls. She promised to clean it and never did. The sink is always filled with dishes and food is left smashed into my TV's, carpets and furniture. I've also found coloring in my office (a no kid zone) and the bathroom....unattended in the bathroom?
3.) She brings her friends over without asking....sometimes I come home to two teenage buddies of hers (girls) sleeping in my bed. And that brings us to her boyfriend....who is in jail now for parole violations that involve drugs and robbery....but was a fixture in the house whenever she was here until the cops picked him up.
4.) She drives my kids around EVERYWHERE. One day she asked for the girl's car seats because she wanted to take them to the park that is located just a mile up the road. I said fine, and then two days later heard from a co-worker that my kids were spotted all over the county. Now she is out with them most of the day...doing god knows what....and she has told me that she leaves them with her younger cousin when she goes to visit her man in jail! I've come home hours after the girl's bedtimes and they aren't even home! One night we came home and it was the nanny, her daughter, her friend and her little sister, along with my two. Her friend is too young to drive, so she would have had to go pick her and her little sister up. Her vehicle only has room for 3 car seats....my girls, her daughter and her friend's sister are all 3 yrs and younger....that's 4 car seats! So, whose kid was in the cargo area???
5.) Smoking - is allowed on my back porch, away from the kids. Her daughter has severe asthma and I've seen her sitting on the porch, with her daughter in her lap smoking a cigarette! I also went into her car one day to retrieve some of the girl's items and is STUNK like smoke....smoking in the car, you know she is smoking when the kids are in there too!
6.) Food / Bed / Baths: I am semi-particular about the foods I have in the house....no junk, no soda, organic stuff as much as possible, no high-processed crap and surely no fast food. Instead of feeding the kids the food in the house (fruits, veggies, cereal, etc. - foods that she WON'T eat) she takes them to McDonalds and was feeding them donuts and candy for breakfast the other morning! My youngest goes to bed at 7 and my 2 year old goes to bed around 8....if I come home at 11 pm, they are usually still up! Not only are they still up, they are dirty....food in their hair, dirty clothes, etc. I think she has given them a bath ONCE!
So last week I only had her come for three days. I told her to take a day off and I would contact her about the next work day. I contacted her on Saturday night and asked her to be here first thing Sunday morning. In the afternoon I get a text from her that she has been up all night sick and was sorry for not coming in. I didn't respond and got a message from her yesterday (PAY DAY) asking why I didn't call her. I told her I didn't want to disturb her if she was sick and to stay home since she claimed her daughter was sick as well, I wouldn't need her until the end of the week. Meanwhile the whole sick thing is just nonsense...don't post on Facebook that you were partying all night and then expect me to believe the sick thing (you think I cannot read? LOL.) So I check my phone this morning and see that she has texted me asking if she can send someone out to pick up her pay....I haven't responded. I'm trying to think about what I should do and how I should handle it. She has items (carseats and clothes) that belong to my kids and I have some of her daughter's items that were left at the house. I REALLY need to be working with the business, but my girl's are #1. My husband claims that I am just paranoid, but really - I feel it's better being safe than sorry. He also says that I dwell on nonsense and am often "mean" for saying or thinking the things that I do. Well, I'm not sure how many mothers would be fine knowing that their kids are in the care of a girl who admits to allowing her 2 year old to stay up until 3 am, admits that the police come to her house on occasion for domestic issues with her roomates and their small kids and cannot even wake up before 10:00 a.m.! How do you sleep late with a little one anyway?
Wow....that's alot of writing. I guess I just need some advice. Am I crazy? Do I try to work with this girl or is she too off the charts? It makes me a little ill to think about it that way, because I feel she is just too immature or moronic to know the difference....but DH says I have issues with dealing with employees and that I should "mold" them instead of getting mad and firing them...do I pay her for an entire week of work, even though she only worked 3 days out of 7 and ditched me over the weekend?
H E L P