Venting about school - Page 2

[serenbat]

first find out what if any testing you can have done for free at your public school 

[jaylivg]

Originally Posted by serenbat 

first find out what if any testing you can have done for free at your public school 

will the public school let him take the test there even if he's not enrolled at public school ?

[serenbat]

depending on your state-you have state regulation, several do

[jaylivg]

Very frustrated , the school keeps telling us that we need to get DS checked for second opinion and go to psychologist regarding a medication ! Saying he can't focus , but then if he can't focus , how did he get his jobs done ? how did he get good grades if he can't focus ? I know he can focus ! i am just so mad , that they keep telling me there is something wrong . What's with all the medications for all the kids anyway ? why do we all want perfectly normal kids be on meds ? Is it so it makes it easier for the teacher ? having all average kids that fit the frame ? And when someone doesn't fit the frame .. they assume there has to be something wrong ?

[LynnS6]

Do you have the money or the insurance coverage that would enable you to get a neuro-psychological evaluation of him? Ideally that would cover some intelligence testing (though that's still iffy in terms of results at his age, I think), how he learns (visually, auditorily, etc.), things like processing speed, and yes, attention. I don't think the school has the tools to evaluate him like he needs to be evaluated. Clearly, he's bored in class. Just as clearly, however, is that he's having behavioral issues that the other children aren't having (or aren't having as severely). This could be because of his age, emotional maturity level, his boredom, or something like ADHD. I have no idea if he's got ADHD, and most likely he doesn't, given your other post. But if he does, it's better to know earlier and get some strategies for working with him. It would really useful to get a good assessment on his intellectual development, emotional development and his learning strengths and weaknesses (we've all got them!). That would give you good information to help him learn, no matter what situation he's in.

I'm still wondering about the goodness of fit between this school and your son. It may be a fine school, for other children. They don't seem to have any good or strategies for kids who are a bit atypical. The one thing that makes a private school different from a public school is that they can kick out children who don't 'fit'. They don't have to learn to work with other kinds of kids, if they don't want to. Many private schools do learn and are good with kids a bit outside the norm. Some aren't. Are you getting the vibe from this school that they just don't want to accommodate you?

[jaylivg]

Originally Posted by LynnS6 

Do you have the money or the insurance coverage that would enable you to get a neuro-psychological evaluation of him? Ideally that would cover some intelligence testing (though that's still iffy in terms of results at his age, I think), how he learns (visually, auditorily, etc.), things like processing speed, and yes, attention. I don't think the school has the tools to evaluate him like he needs to be evaluated. Clearly, he's bored in class. Just as clearly, however, is that he's having behavioral issues that the other children aren't having (or aren't having as severely). This could be because of his age, emotional maturity level, his boredom, or something like ADHD. I have no idea if he's got ADHD, and most likely he doesn't, given your other post. But if he does, it's better to know earlier and get some strategies for working with him. It would really useful to get a good assessment on his intellectual development, emotional development and his learning strengths and weaknesses (we've all got them!). That would give you good information to help him learn, no matter what situation he's in.

I'm still wondering about the goodness of fit between this school and your son. It may be a fine school, for other children. They don't seem to have any good or strategies for kids who are a bit atypical. The one thing that makes a private school different from a public school is that they can kick out children who don't 'fit'. They don't have to learn to work with other kinds of kids, if they don't want to. Many private schools do learn and are good with kids a bit outside the norm. Some aren't. Are you getting the vibe from this school that they just don't want to accommodate you?

I was thinking about getting him tested , in fact i had asked the school about this couple of weeks ago , during our 2nd meeting , the principal just said " no ,it would only  just confirm what we already know , the test would help for any learning disability for children with bad grades , but with your son's case , it's not going to do anything but just confirming what we already know "

that is exactly what they said to me .

Me and my husband right now are really seriously thinking about getting him tested , as far as his ability , that's why i was asking , is this IQ test that people are talking ?? Do we do have to go to a children's pyschology for the test ? if so .. then we're going to do it , we are willing to do this , for our son . If it is ADHD , we took him for this  adhd test too , it was negative . The doctor said he's just bored , try to ask the school to skip him to 2nd grade . Thats what the doctor said . I really don't think he has adhd , the school said i should get a 2nd opinion and i need to get him medication to help him focus . But if he can't focus .. how come he got all good grades , and got his job done , and in fact got it done a lot faster than other students and wasn't allowed to go any further on his work and he has to wait , and then he got in trouble during waiting and got sent to other classroom because he's being disruptive . If he can't focus he wouldn't be able to work on his homework on his own , i never had to ask him to work on the homework , when we get home from school he would just grab his book bag and then go to his bedroom and work on his homework , later on i check and 90% of the time he's got it right . Is this what they call can't focus ?? He built 600 lego pieces on his own , and is this can't focus ??

The school makes me feel like there is something wrong with my son while he's a normal maybe too bright for his own age , he's 6 years old .

And yes by now , i do feel like the school can't accomodate my son's need . They've wasted first quarter for nothing . I really don't mind whether he goes to private or public , the reason we sent him to private school is because of the school in our area isn't the greatest , and we wanted him to get the best education he can , so we chose this school ( this is before we knew he's gifted ) , the school was the one that informed us our son is gifted . I am just thinking that they're not keeping their end of the deal , back in september they said they would give him a different curriculum that suits him better than 1st grade curriculum , which obviously too easy for him . But that never happened , and then now after yesterday meeting , she said next week she will let my son observe the 2nd grade reading class .. and if it goes well then she will let him stay in 2nd grade for the reading class . So it's like wait and see i guess .

[joensally]

If you're comfortable posting what state you're in, folks here may have an idea of where to go for testing.

If you're going to test, you need a full neuro-psych evaluation including IQ and achievement testing.  They will test for ADHD and other learning differences.  It should be done by someone with the appropriate qualifications in your jurisdiction.  Typically, this is a master's in psych, or a psychologist.  My preference is for a psychologist with a stated interest in, and ample experience with, gifted children.  I've seen people quote really cheap rates online, but I've paid $1800-2000 per testing - it is very expensive but we've found it necessary.

I would not conclude at this point that he doesn't have ADHD based on a ped doctor appt and one check box inventory - in my opinion, they're very open to the bias of the person completing it, in addition to the experience of the person completing it (ie how do you know what is typical for a six year old if you only know a handful of them?).  I am NOT saying he does have ADHD.  I just think you've got a complicated kid in an unsuitable environment and who knows what's really happening for him - is it entirely the environment, or is there internal complexity that he'll need help learning how to manage?

Finally, it really, really hurts when other adults don't "see" your kid.  I totally empathize with how hurtful and frustrating your circumstances must feel.  I've certainly been there.

[jaylivg]

i am in indiana .

[joensally]

http://www.nd.edu/~wsettle/GATE_Network/Parent_Resources_Gifted_Ed.html

http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/psychologists.htm#list

http://www.sengifted.org/education_home_study_professionals.shtml

[jaylivg]

thanks for the information , i've been to the indiana education for the gifted program but the page was not there anymore and they didnt even direct to any other link . We've tried to look it up , but seems like they don't have much info about it . Thanks though .

[Virginia Mom]

Of course the principal doesn't want him to get tested.......there is such a fine line between testing a child for a learning disabitily and testing for a learning 'situation' when the child is gifted.......personally I think even a gifted child needs an IEP --to ensure he/she gets the right education.....and that may be why the principal didn't want to test.......then school would be legally liable to follow the IEP (individualized educational plan) to the letter............every state is different..............and I think it's crap that the poor kid gets sent home with the "lost recess" notes............when does he exercise, or get fresh air or socialize? not sure how you feel about public school, but what about a charter school or magnet school in your district---one that has teachers who have some more experience?

[joensally]

Originally Posted by Virginia Mom 

Of course the principal doesn't want him to get tested.......there is such a fine line between testing a child for a learning disabitily and testing for a learning 'situation' when the child is gifted.......personally I think even a gifted child needs an IEP --to ensure he/she gets the right education.....and that may be why the principal didn't want to test.......then school would be legally liable to follow the IEP (individualized educational plan) to the letter............every state is different..............and I think it's crap that the poor kid gets sent home with the "lost recess" notes............when does he exercise, or get fresh air or socialize? not sure how you feel about public school, but what about a charter school or magnet school in your district---one that has teachers who have some more experience?

All of this.  My kids have now been in 5 schools between them, plus one online school.  They are all very, very different.  We've never dealt with a "bad" school, but IME, every one of them has been different from the inside than what the reviews would seem to indicate.  It's worth asking around.  And can you find out who at your school district level is responsible for gifted services and call them up?  They may have some great insight for you.

[chaimom]

Wow.  I'd be really frustrated with the school.  I would be direct with the principal and tell him or her that you expect your child to be challenged in school and learn something each day.   It's obvious the behavior issues are the result of not being challenged and being frustrated.  I would also insist that a different behavior system be used for your son.  He needs recess and a minimal amount of googling will bring up numerous articles showing how restricted recess results in worse behavior not better.  (Common sense would tell anyone that!)

I think the school sounds more interested in their rules than in figuring  out what your child needs.  I would be looking for a different school if it were my family.

[captain optimism]

I think it would be worth investigating a few other educational possibilities rather than wrestling with the disciplinary system at this private school. 

It would make sense to visit local public schools and meet with principals to ask what kinds of resources they have in place for a child who seems to be gifted who is having behavioral issues. Perhaps there is a magnet school, a charter school, or a plain old vanilla public school that can individuate curriculum for your son. 

In my area, homeschoolers work cooperatively in groups to provide children with social interaction and a variety of experiences with adults outside the home. What kinds of resources does your area have for homeschooling? Do public libraries, museums and other organizations provide daytime programming? Is there a homeschoolers group, and what is it like? It is important for kids to learn that whole "sitting on the rug in a group without being disruptive" skill, but they don't necessarily have to learn it in school and all kids may not be ready to do it by age 7. He could still learn to do that in a homeschooling environment, but you won't be on such a heavy deadline to get him there. He'll have more one-on-one instruction and self-directed instruction at home.

It might make sense for you to have your son tested for learning disabilities, since that's a way you might also be able to get an individual evaluation of his giftedness. He may not have any disabilities, but disability evaluation is something the local school system has to pay for in order to ensure that he gets appropriate education. I don't think there's any law on the books that they have to evaluate his intelligence. You can take charge of this by finding your own outside expert and getting help from his current school to pay for the evaluation. I suspect that's one reason they're insisting you get a second opinion--and if it's not the reason, if they're really being difficult, you can still jump on this as a way to get them to help you.