My mom was a SAHM and my sisters and I have always appreciated that, and I've always known I wanted to be at home with my kids when they were little. I have always told my DH that from the time we were dating.
We got a surprise pregnancy early in our marriage as DH was about to start grad school. Thankfully, I was able to get a very flexible part time job at his university where I have been able to be with my dd ( now almost 3) all the time except for 6-15 hours a week depending on the week and I get university breaks - so 2 1/2 months for the summer and a month for Christmas. This job provides us with housing, utillities, cable, and internet.
We will definitely be transitioning away from the university in May, adn we are expecting #2 in Feb. I would LOVE to be a SAHM once I leave this job but DH is NOT on board.
First, he grew up in a culture where almost everyone had a live in maid/nanny so in his culture SAHM work isn't really valued. He has a hard time understanding why I have a masters degree but would want to be at home with our kids.
Then, he has had a REALLY hard time finding a job in his field - he is currently working a full time job that he hates and the thought of being the sole provider is a lot of stress on him. I have repeatedly emphasized that I am willing to get creative and find ways to make a financial contribution to our family - through watching other kids, sewing, working from home, etc. I've also explained that financially, being at home can save us money because we won't have childcare costs, I cook from scratch, I don't need to pay for transporation to work, business attire, take out food, etc.
Lately he's been talking about me finding full time work and putting our kids in daycare. He grew up in a family where money was always tight, and he felt he missed out on opportunities because of it. He has become very focused on having enough money to give our kids all the opportunities he didn't have.
This is really hard for me because being at home with the kids is something that I really value and have always wanted to do and I'm willing to make sacrifices to make it happen, but DH is on a completely different page,
Can anyone relate?