i could use a hug!

[fishy]

so, my son has been seeing his father every other weekend since november and its been hard for me. it is not really getting easier, either (how could it be easy to send your son off to spend the weekend with someone you wouldnt trust to take care of a pet goldfish?)

but tomorrow, i have to send my son off for an entire week. my ex is a school teacher and has spring break next week and so my son will be spending the week with his father. i am really freaking out about it.

my son is excited to spend time with his dad. he always has a great time and cant wait to go again. but he has never been gone this long before. and i am going to be so lonely. i thought the weekends were hard and now i wont see him from sunday evening until saturday evening.

i know my son will be fine. taken care of and all. his father lives with his parents, (large family, always lots of people around) but i dont really like these people much and dont like hte way they parent. as much as i know they love my son, and he loves them, it still is so hard to think he will be there for a whole week without me. and he is only 3 and it seems like such a long time.

i could really use a hug.

[nym]

[dreadmama]

How unfair! Since you are working full-time, where is your Spring Break with all week to spend with him? What a hard thing to do! At least you can be fairly certain that he'll be taken care of ok. And he will enjoy his time with his dad. If he is unhappy, I'm sure they'll call to have you pick him up early. So you'll be miserable missing him, but at least he'll be ok.

Focus your energy on doing things to fix up your new apartment... things that would be hard to do when he's at home. This way, you are using the time to be productive, and making life better for you both. Time will hopefully go by quickly.

Call me or PM me if you want to hang out at all during the week... it is also my Spring Break!


Karen

[mocha09]

Yes, please call Dreadmama if you need company! Post and check in with us too. What a hard week you have ahead. Have you prepared yourself with stuff to do, and ways to handle it?

[Penticton mama]

Big Hug! I can't imagine having dd go away for a week. I wouldn't know what to do with myself.
Keep bust with work and take this time for yourself. Have a nice LONG bath! Maybe plan a girl night in with movies and pop corn!

Good Luck! What doesn't kill us makes us stronger!!
I'm sure you will do just fine.

Erin

[fishy]

thanks girls! it helps just to know someone can understand what im going thru!

yes, i have begun to make plans to keep myslef busy and not focus on my lonliness. i am hanging out with a long lost friend on weds, and i may have plans for tuesday as well. (meeting new folks in the area, which is a good hting)

i do want to hang out dreadmama! i will PM you.

[Ottermom]

fishy, I think your concern is for your son, really. And worrying won't make it any better. You want him to be taken care of when you aren't there.

My son is still nursing and doesn't really have a "lovey" but when DH and I separated, I created one. -he actually has two, one at my house and one at dh's (exact ly the same, a friend that is always there.)

When Ds (2.5 years)spends time with his dad, I make sure he has his baby bear (he loves babies, thus the name) with him and I fill baby bear with lots of kisses and hugs. I tell him that if he ever needs a hug from me, that he can get it from the bear. I feel comforted to know that something is "looking after him" and when he sees his baby bear, he is comforted to know that I'm thinking of him . . .

Good luck and enjoy the "you" time.

[fishy]

update-sorta...

as its only been what, 4.5 hours? HA!

thanks all for the support. it helps.

i dropped him off after taking him to eat at his favorite place and he said he wanted me to call him every day to say goodnight. stbx was less than friendly (cold, i guess) but i dont expect anything else at this point.

i went and saw a movie after i dropped him off and then came home and decided to not clean up all the toys and such i had been cursing under my breath all morning. i felt like the house would look too lonley if it was clean.

so...am i being selfish? is it really just that i dont want to be lonely? i dont know. i worry that he will miss me and they wont listen, just figure he will be fine. i worry that our bond will be broken if he is gone too long. i worry that he will prefer his dad to me over time. i worry that he will be mad at me when he gets back b/c its my fault his parents arent together and he cant just be with both of us. (not that i feel guilty over that, its just i dont want him to be mad at me for it. i do not regret leaving and i KNOW it was the right thing.)

well, thats all for now. heres to a fast week!

[birthinglau]

I don't have any advice to share. just wanted to say that I'll be thinking about you both this week. what a strong heart you have.

-Lau

[Soul-O]

I can only imagine how hard this must be for you, but it sounds as if you have some great plans in place for the week. I can imagine myself doing exactly what you did after you dropped him off - leaving the toys out so that the house wouldn't look lonely and worrying about what my son might be experiencing and feeling in my absence. I just know he will miss you so much this week and be very happy to see you when he returns.

Take care, and pamper yourself!

[mocha09]

Hey Fishy, I read all of the things you are worried about, and I'm thinking that if I were in your shoes, I would be worried about just those things.

It's good that you can call every night and talk to him about his day and say good night.

I hope your week is *okay*.....

[brusselsprout]

I think it is natural to worry about those kid of things. I don't really have advice cuz I haven't been thru this yet, but lots of hugs and support! If you are feeling lonely come talk to us!!

[Patchy Dragon]

I can only imagine how worried you are... DS's dad is a capable adult and I worry every time he goes to his dad's.

I will be thinking about you this week... {{{FISHY}}}

[SingleDad]

I'm sorry you're so worried, but I can't help but think how sweet you are to be that way too. It's great to see a Mommy love her kids so much!

[fishy]

thanks SingleDad, and everyone else offering support.

this week is going ok for me. i am not too lonely but its only been a couple days and i am used to him being gone this long. the hardest part, i expect, will be later in the week after its been a while.

i cleaned my apartment last night and tonight i had dinner with my sister. i have plans to go out with friends weds and thurs. and i think i am going shopping friday (yes, i DO need new clothes)

i have called my son 3 times and had to leave 3 messages. i have yet to receive a return phone call. i am a bit peeved. i am not sure if they are just busy, or if stbx is playing games (control games, his favorite sport...) but if i dont get to talk to my son tomorrow, i am going to get angry.

[dreadmama]

Wow - he hasn't called you back yet after three messages! I'm already angry for you tonight.

I'm sure he is fine and your ex is just playing control games with you. This week will be over soon enough.

Peace,
Karen