smoking, bed-sharing/co-sleeping, and SIDS?

[leaves]

my husband has been smoking for the past few months. he promised me when our baby was born he would quit, however i just gave birth to my daughter a week ago and found out yesterday that he has been smoking. we have talked about how smoking raises the risk of SIDS and i have voiced how concerned i am for her health and safety (and that of our two-year-old son's). he only smokes outside, but he comes in smelling like smoke and so does my son, whenever he takes him outside with him so he can play. it really bothers me. we co-sleep with both babies and i am so nervous about having my daughter sleep in another place other than our bed, but i'm also worried about SIDS.

what are your thoughts/experiences? i want to keep co-sleeping but i would rather err on the side of caution. would you mamas recommend not co-sleeping seeing as my husband is a smoker? 

[tropicana]

if he wants to keep smoking, move HIM to the guest bedroom. JMHO.

[cresentmoon]

Awwww, congratulations on your new baby, it sucks you have to deal with this.  Unfortunately I know nothing about the subject but I know there are tons of amazing resources for quitting smoking out there now.  I don't know why an adult would suddenly take up smoking but I think one of my family members has had some success quitting smoking by taking Wellbutrin, which is an antidepressant, I feel like I've been hearing a lot about it being prescribed for that now.  From experiencing addiction in my own family I can sympathize that it could be hard to stop suddenly for any reason, addiction is a beast that eats up free will! :I GOOD LUCK. Hugs*** <3

[Ginger Bean]

It's simple. You can keep co-sleeping with your babies, and he can sleep on the couch.

It's not safe for him to sleep with a newborn.

[katelove]

I agree with the PPs, I would not be comfortable with my child (at any age) sharing a bed with a smoker. Arranging for him to sleep somewhere else until he is able to quit seems a reasonable solution to me.

[Adaline'sMama]

My husband smokes. Not a ton, but he smokes. I'd say, probably between 1/4-1/2 a pack a day. He wears a smoking jacket when he goes outside to smoke, washes his hands as soon as he comes in, and takes a shower before bed. He doesnt smoke around DD ever, but if he did and she smelled like smoke, I would have his ass for it. No adult should smoke so close to a child that the child smells like smoke.

We co sleep, and will co sleep with the new one too. How often is he smoking? How much does he smoke? Does he always smell like cigarettes? If so, maybe he needs to figure out a way where he does smell like smoke. DH doesnt smoke in the car, in any enclosed space, and pretty much tries to stand against the wind.

He has told me that its so much of a PIA to smoke that it deters him from doing it.

Honestly, I think most of the sids information where sids is linked to smoking has to do with people smoking in the house, specifically the bed or the bedroom. DD sleeps between me and the edge of the bed, not between me and DH, so she isnt sleeping next to him. Regardless, I would make sure he knows its not appropriate to smell like smoke in the house or smoke around the kids. period.

[DBZ]

I used to smoke. I was like Adaline'sMama's dh though and I didn't cosleep then. If he smells like smoke, he needs to take a shower and he needs to be smoking outside and all that. Also, it was harder for me to wake up when I was a smoker. It made me a more heavy sleeper. If that is the case with your dh then he really needs to sleep on the couch. When he quits smoking he can sleep in the family bed again.