Insight needed

[Imakcerka]

I need some insight into what might be going on with DD2, she's 6.  I'll list somethings that have been happening with examples. 

Easily confused - She will ask me a question and I will answer her question, she will ask the question and I will answer the question again.  She then starts crying and shuts down.  She says "I don't understand, you're confusing me".   It takes about 10 minutes before we can try again.  This time I choose my words to be more descriptive and I answer her question.  She still doesn't get it. Yells and stomps off.  Other times I'm able to get out of her just what it is that she's confused about sometimes not.  Sometimes we can resolve the issue... mostly not.  This also happens with conversations. 

When I mean a question I means she'll ask me what day it is. 

Frequent meltdowns - She becomes frustrated quickly.  If her needs are not met or she feels like we have disregarded her completely.  As in dinner is something quick and not what she expects.  We don't all sit down and eat a huge meal for dinner but rather eat Mac n Cheese.  Someone forgets to give her her water with dinner.  Or I give her the wrong underwear.  Maybe I forgot to show her a page in the book we're all reading together.  She takes it all as though we're not thinking of what she wants and needs.  And is genuinely hurt.

Repetitive movements - She does this weird exercise thing often.  Maybe twice a day and then will go for a week to two weeks without doing it.  She lays on her back, crosses her legs up in the air and does crunches.  She can do this for 20 minutes or so.  I don't stop her because the last time I asked if she would stop and put on her shoes, she told me she couldn't yet and she only needed to do a few more.  I'm not sure her count method but she did it for another 5 minutes or so.  Now we just ask how many more she needs to do and she'll tell us and we kind of have an idea of when she will stop.

Will not accept blame - I know a lot of kids are like this but usually they'll say they were wrong once in awhile.  DD2 will do something we'll all see her do it and when she's reminded she's not allowed to do it, she'll say she didn't do it.  Then I remind her that she did and I actually saw her and she'll cover her head and yell "I didn't do anything, you're being mean!" and she'll stomp off.  Or she'll yell "You just stop it!" and stomp off.

Aside from those things, she makes friends easily.  She's very affectionate, very funny and loves to sing and dance. Does well in class is a little behind in reading but she's picking up quickly.  There are no reports from school of poor behavior or difficulty fitting in.  I've spoken with her teacher numerous times and she says she's really good and very involved at all times.  I've met people who have kids with asperger or autism and she doesn't completely fit into those categories.  I'm willing to have her tested however until then does anyone have any ideas on how we can better communicate with her?  I should add that DH has been diagnosed with BPD and BP on so many different occasions but if any of you know about those two they're easily confused.  I have learned how to communicate with him and help him avoid his triggers however I'm at a loss as to how to help DD2.   DH and I don't want her to go through the pain he went through.  However through therapy he found out most of the things that hurt him were really just that he perceived them so much differently than most people would.  His mom forgetting to buy pepsi when she went grocery shopping would literally anger and depress him for days. 

Any ideas?

[Imakcerka]

Mods can you move this to Special Needs?  I think that may be what I'm dealing with.

[AdinaL]

I was just looking at this, and thought that you might be dealing with a special needs situation.  I will be happy to move it. :)  I hope you get some input there.

[Imakcerka]

Thanks

[Emmeline II]

Ds was like this when he was younger, some of that he still does; I would look for a place like this to do an eval (http://www.pediatrics.uthscsa.edu/centers/hope/services.asp). Ds diagnoses include ADHD, SPD, and a receptive language disorder. Some possibilities for the "exercise" are that it is a tic, OCD related, or she may "just" have a physical discomfort that it relieves.

The accepting blame issue may be related to a processing issue and/or having a literal understanding of things; I'm not sure if the latter has a specific name or is a processing issue itself. A couple of days ago ds got in trouble at school for talking at a specific time he was not supposed to (some sort of testing where they have "privacy shields" on their desks)--ds insisted he had not been talking to "anyone"; later he said that he wasn't talking to "anyone," just "M". He also has difficulty with puns, idioms...pretty much anything that means something other than the common understanding of the words you used.

Information Processing Disorders

Sensory Processing Disorder Explained | SPD Foundation

Sensory Processing Disorder Checklist

Central Auditory Processing Disorder - KidsHealth

[KimPM]

Couple of thoughts:
Re: confusion and quick anger - is it possible she has low blood sugar at those times? She may need to eat more often than you do. I get this way, and if I don't eat or have some kind of a snack every couple of hours, I can't think straight.

Have you had her hearing tested? Just want to make sure that's not an issue.

DS does the confusion and anger things too, sometimes. He also gets low blood sugar.

[Imakcerka]

Holy Schmoley!  I looked up Low blood sugar and it's right on.  Right down to the night time wake ups and screaming.  We have changed our diet recently or I just buy less of the foods she likes.  I told DH about it this morning after I read your post and when he got her from school today he made sure she had enough sugar.  I think all he gave her was some M&M's and seriously the only meltdown we had was during homework.  We were able to work through that and it didn't last long.  Thank you Thank you Thank you!  I was seriously stressing.  Now more research to make sure I can keep us all on track.

I was feeling bad for DD1 because she was so confused about DD2.  She loves her sister and was pretty upset about all the changes lately.  Again Thank you!

Originally Posted by KimPM 

Couple of thoughts:
Re: confusion and quick anger - is it possible she has low blood sugar at those times? She may need to eat more often than you do. I get this way, and if I don't eat or have some kind of a snack every couple of hours, I can't think straight.
Have you had her hearing tested? Just want to make sure that's not an issue.
DS does the confusion and anger things too, sometimes. He also gets low blood sugar.

[KimPM]

Originally Posted by Imakcerka 


Holy Schmoley!  I looked up Low blood sugar and it's right on.  Right down to the night time wake ups and screaming.  We have changed our diet recently or I just buy less of the foods she likes.  I told DH about it this morning after I read your post and when he got her from school today he made sure she had enough sugar.  I think all he gave her was some M&M's and seriously the only meltdown we had was during homework.  We were able to work through that and it didn't last long.  Thank you Thank you Thank you!  I was seriously stressing.  Now more research to make sure I can keep us all on track.

I was feeling bad for DD1 because she was so confused about DD2.  She loves her sister and was pretty upset about all the changes lately.  Again Thank you!

I'm glad you figured (at least this part of it) out!

The way I control it is not to eat a bunch of sugar or simple carbs (unless I totally have nothing else around and can get some real food soon after). Turns out, eating sugar can make it worse - because it gives a quick sugar rush, then a fall down in blood sugar lower/faster than before. This is what I call the rollercoaster.

Instead, I try to use a food with some fat in it to help me digest more slowly, therefore giving a longer, slower burn. Proteins also slow down the digestion. So, a snack of a few nuts or a bit of cheese is much better than candy. In fact, for me, even eating fruit alone is much like eating candy - too much sugar/simple carbs all at once, so I avoid eating fruit or sweets alone. Must eat something with fat and/or protein with it to slow things down. Complex carbs also burn a bit slower than simple carbs. So for example, whole grain pastas are better than regular pastas.

I also avoid having sugar and caffeine together - one or the other is fine (for me) in moderation, but caffeine causes the body to dump more sugar into the bloodstream. So caffeine + sugar = getting on the rollercoaster. I enjoy my morning tea, but I learned a long time ago to stop putting any sweetener in it. Your DD probably won't be drinking tea or coffee, but the same principle applies to sweetened chocolate - though the chocolate does have some fat in it - but usually not enough to compensate for the amount of sugar & caffeine it has.

I always carry something with me that's a good snack - like a protein bar. Good idea to stock up on those. Halvah works well for me. Granola or a nut/fruit combo would also work. I've also found that eating like a healthy snacker all day (ie. a bunch of smaller meals spaced through the day) is much better for me than "three square meals a day". The idea is to keep the blood sugar as level as possible, not going too high or too low. Some people can have problems with the blood sugar level itself being low, while others are sensitive to the speed of the blood sugar dropping, not necessarily the actual level. I believe one of the issues here is that the body (the pancreas) can have an insulin response that happens too fast or too much, thus keeping the blood sugar low. If that person eats sugary things alone all the time, the pancreas can get "exhausted" over time and eventually fail, causing a diabetic condition.

It's helpful to eat *before* actually feeling like you have low blood sugar. It takes time and experience to figure out just how often she would need to eat.

It's a good idea to make her aware of when she feels this way and why, so she knows when she needs to have a little snack. My DS sometimes tells me when he's feeling "low blood sugar", but he's not always great in identifying when he needs to eat.

I'm not sure how you'd deal with this in a school setting, though. Maybe when you figure it out, you'd want to talk to her teachers and make sure she can have a little snack when she needs one.

A long time ago I read this book, and it turned the light bulb on for me:
Is Low Blood Sugar Making You a Nutritional Cripple, by Ruth Adams and Frank Murray
http://www.amazon.com/Blood-Sugar-Making-Nutritional-Cripple/dp/091596211X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1319809387&sr=8-1
Edited by KimPM - 10/28/11 at 9:12am

[Imakcerka]

Thanks Kim that is very helpful.  I didn't fully understand the sugar part.  I'll keep looking into and help her through I'll definitely talk to her about it so she understands and I'll see if her teacher will get on board with us.