Thanks for responding.
Exactly. I feel like I'm just going through the motions. Today I am so tired, I feel like a robot. I have no enthusiasm to give DS1 and I hate to let him feel the stress I am under. He finally took his nap and I thought Oh - I can put the baby down and get some sleep. Right on cue, DS2 starts crying that reflux cry. Had to walk him around for three hours (11:30am - 3pm) and then he finally fell asleep. Ever feel like you're doing something wrong. All the other mothers know how to take care of a child, but you don't?
DH says it could be that he is detoxing from the mold environment. I hope that is the case.
Most days, I don't eat until DH gets home. Between feeding the two of them, washing bottles, changing diapers, trying to find activities to keep DS1 stimulated, etc... I don't have much time for myself. Today I put the baby down and decided to just let him cry for 15 minutes while I cook something. He cried for 30 seconds and I couldn't do it. It's not his fault he can't lay down without feeling pain.
I really think if your LO is not at a decent baseline yet, that you should keep trying things.
Yes, I agree completely. I'm going to keep trying until we find a way. DH and I have been bantering back and forth about using the medicine. Originally, I didn't want to try it because we tried it on DS1 and it did nothing. Also, his symptoms increased and later on we figured out he has a corn allergy (corn is in Zantac as well as most other medications). I have allergies as well, so most likely DS2 will. I still am considering it, but DH doesn't want to go that route. If the medication helps him and he can breastfeed again, that would be most beneficial to all of us.
I just want to be able to love my children with the best me possible. And right now, I'm not doing that. Definitely not the best me, and definitely don't feel the love around here.
It's good to have other mothers who have gone through the same or worse. It's so true that people don't understand when they haven't been through it. My family thinks I'm crazy for abandoning my house and moving into an apartment. I've also heard from some of them that I'm too overprotective and I should just let him cry, not pick him up and walk him around. Stop trying to help him. I'm creating the problem by responding to the cries. He will eventually stop crying. I've heard it all. I'm so sick of it and so sick of not getting the support from them.
Sorry about the rant. Your LO is 18 months and still having problems? You must be exhausted! I hope things get better for you as well. I think one day we will look back on this time with fondness, and be able to pick out little moments that made us smile. At least that's what I hope!