Co-sleeping with a 3.5 yo early riser who doesn't play by self easily - tricks of the trade?

[LCBMAX]

Hello again, fellow sleepy ones! I haven't checked in here in ages - I was sleeping fine!

I'm looking for help from parents of older cosleepers whose kids were strong willed about having adults play with them the minute they woke up, even when they woke up "too early."

I moved out of the family bed when we nightweaned at 25 months, leaving dh and son snuggling nicely together after a reasonable adjustment period. Now he's 3.5 and I'm trying to move back in. Son has always been one who slept the minimal hours for his age, with the maximal effort from us. A light and sensitive sleeper - hooray. We gave up naps this past summer and have had wonderful bedtimes ever since. He is an only child who has about 1 - 3 twenty minute periods of fully engaged independent play in him during his best daytime hours. Other play requires some level of our participation. He's in nursery school 3 days a week.

One issue now is that he's begun again an old habit that used to happen every full moon and for big developmental leaps - the 2 am party, in which he has a full on wake up and it takes at least an hour to get him back down. This can include getting up to pee, but it seems to go about the same either way.

The other larger issue is that he's wanting to get up for the day anywhere from 5 am on (goes to sleep around 7:45.) We've told him that grownups can't wake up before 6, and he's welcome to snuggle back down with us and go back to sleep. If he wants to wake up early, he can crawl back down to his little snuggly mattress on the floor next to us, turn on his night light, and play with a few toys (I chose the ones he most often can enjoy solo.) I keep trying to present this as a simple non-negotiable choice, not a punishment, and I've been getting myself up enough to do this with a nice, not irritated, mama voice, and tuck him in there with a kiss and a toy suggestion. Of course I want this all to happen independently, but I assume I've got to model for him how it looks to go to your own snuggly spot and entertain yourself for a little while. It's worked about half the time we've been trying it (10 days now) but the other half are just a huge struggle with reminders, fussing, sticking toys in our noses, crying hard, etc. When it has worked, I've made a point of interrupting him while he's having fun, even if it's not quite 6, to reinforce that the process can be nice for him.

I would be so grateful for other suggestions!

[anjsmama]

Oh boy. Let me know if you figure it out. I could have written your post, except my DS is a few months younger and his independent play is more like 10 minutes twice a day. The last time he would ever consider independent play is first thing in the morning. I am desperately trying to convince him it's not morning at all until 6 am (it's tough since DH leaves before that). SOMETIMES though he will stay in bed/room (we don't roomshare with him as DD is in ours) to read if I happen to choose the right books of the moment and he has a morning snack. Before he goes to bed, or after he falls asleep, I try to remember to put a banana or a squeeze-pouch applesauce/fruit puree (or similar, non-destroy-my-house type snacks for a 3 year old) on his dresser so that it's there when he wakes up. I can sometimes go in at 6 or 615 to find him reading, drinking his applesauce. But it's like twice a week. More often than not, he comes in to get me & DD (and dh is gone for work by 515) at 530 like "MOM! DD! GOOD MORNING! Lets go to the living room! I wanna play cars!" 

Did I mention I get home from work at midnight? 

[Juggling3]

Wow-this sounds really tough. I have one child ( out of 4) who doesn't sleep a lot, but she is awake on the other side of the clock, the evening. I would definitely suggest a snack/drink because hunger can wake a child. This is just another suggestion, but if I were in that situation, I would tell my child ahead of time (like the night before) that I'm not going to wake up to play or talk before 'x' o'clock (6 certainly sounds reasonable). I would say I'll help if you are sick or scared you can lay down, but I'm not going to play because I need to sleep so that I can be a mommy during the day. And then play possum. A child of 3 can certainly read the clock to have an idea what time it is.

I did something like this with all 3 of my children when I needed pregnancy naps in the afternoon and the toddlers weren't napping. It wasn't perfect but they began learning to be sensitive to my needs which is appropriate for a 3 year old.

Perhaps you dont use  tv or audio, but a video or story on cd with headphones is also an option.

[LCBMAX]

Hmmm - we could definitely try an am snack, ready in the morning toy box, easy to clean up after. We already do a high fat, high protein bedtime snack when he wants it. And we do have an audio player in there so he can listen to stories. Will also be reinstating the "bunny clock" (though we found it very bright and had to cover it all night long when we used it last winter. But it did help move last winter's wake up from 4:30 to 6!) 

omg, anjsmama - that was a real kicker, ending with how you get home from work at midnight! sympathies!