i will soon be 18 and want to adopt my 12 yrs old sister

[Lanlgeybaby]

my parents have been divorced since i was 4.  my mother has had a bad life, caused by herself.  she was a terrible motehr and my father got custody of me when i was 10 years old.  she has continued diong the same thigns she has alwasy done.  her life is ruled by sex, drugs, adn abuse.  when i lived with ehr i was taking care of my three siblings.  we were from house to house and often went without. 

she recently went to jail and got my brother and sister taken from her.  my brother went to his father and my sister couldnt becasue her father is in jail for 40 years, more or less the rest of his life.  he was convicted of reaping his own child, not this girl, but another one.  my sister is currently living with my granfather and my mother can not regain custody for atleast 1 year.

i am very concerned for her becasue her father is trying to get his tribe to get custody of her.  he then wants her sent to his sister whom cannot even take care of herself or her own children.  she is into drugs and alcohol and a lot of other things best not mentioned.  i am concerned for her safety and so is our mother.

she called me and told me of his intent.  i want her to have a better life than i did.  i have a steady income and i will be acquiring a place of my own where she can have her space, i know what its like to not have  a childhood and i want her to experience having one.  seh has been abused her whole life and she doesnt deserve what will come if she goes to the her tribe.

i will be 18 november 29th and i have a current income of almost 600 every 2 weeks.  i also have a vehicle that i will liscense and insure myself as soon as i turn 18.  i am also searchign for an aoartment or even a house to rent after i turn 18.  my grades are very goos i carry around a 3.6 GPA.

is it possible for me to gain custody of her?  i am her half sibling and i live in a different state.  i really feel strongly about this.  i will do anything neccessary to be able to acquire her.

[APToddlerMama]

It is possible.  Your mother should have paperwork from either court or her social worker that lists several names.  The people you would want to get in contact with would be: your sister's social worker, her guardian ad litem, and any attorney working with your mom and sister.   They would very likely do a "home study" with you.  That would involve them coming to your home, inspecting it to be sure it is safe, and basically interviewing you in great detail.  There is a lot of paperwork involved, it is a lot of work, and it can easily take several months.  For now, if I were in your shoes, I would contact the people mentioned above and make sure I found a safe and clean apartment, and continued to have a stable income to support myself.  Good luck.  I think it is really great that you are interested in helping your sister. 

[flightgoddess]

If you did get custody, it is possible that she would then qualify for state health insurance etc...or maybe something through the tribe?

[Lanlgeybaby]

what are soem other measures that i need to take?  and would it be ok to go throught the social worker that i had from my dad.  he used this woman to help get custody o fme and my other whole sister, i have 2, and i would like to use her because she has access to all my records adn i think that owuld be a reat help becasue my sister has been through similiar things as i have. 

[Lanlgeybaby]

i am not sure but we have a  ss place here in town and in the next town over.  i am sure we can both qualify for stamps and things like that.  she is not registered through her tribe and i am not interested in involving them.  it is them i am trying to keep her away from them.  also my mother has agreed to sign over her custody rights to me.....

[queenjane]

Its possible. You might want to rent "Gracie's Choice" for inspiration, about a girl who gained custody and then adopted her younger brothers. Its a true story.

I agree with the other advice. You need to get involved now, make yourself known, talk to the GAL and workers etc. Put your intention in writing.

One issue though is the tribal connection. Tribes have alot of power when it comes to custody and adoption. I believe its the law that the tribe must consent to any guardianship or adoption.

[Lanlgeybaby]

but she is not enrolled.  that is what he is trying to do becasue if she is then the tribe has custody over me as i recall.  thats how my mother explained it.  i had the intentiona bout 4 months ago to take both the kids form my mother becasue she is not a fit one.. . but she go tinto trouble and then got them taken away from her.  my little sister recently went to live with her instead of  my dad.  and she is in a home until she turns 18... i am sure my brother is safe and i have contact with him almost dailya nd the same with the little one that i want to adopt or get custody of.  i am not sur ehow the whole tribe thing works but as long as she is not enrolled i feel mroe comfortable in my possition.  what are the steps to go about to get a hold of her?

[APToddlerMama]

Originally Posted by Lanlgeybaby 

what are soem other measures that i need to take?  and would it be ok to go throught the social worker that i had from my dad.  he used this woman to help get custody o fme and my other whole sister, i have 2, and i would like to use her because she has access to all my records adn i think that owuld be a reat help becasue my sister has been through similiar things as i have. 

Go ahead and contact that social worker.  She will tell you if she can help you or not.  Chances are, you will need to contact your sister's actual social worker and Guardian Ad Litem as well.

Originally Posted by Lanlgeybaby 

but she is not enrolled.  that is what he is trying to do becasue if she is then the tribe has custody over me as i recall.  i am not sur ehow the whole tribe thing works but as long as she is not enrolled i feel mroe comfortable in my possition. 

There could be issues with the tribe regardless of whether or not she is enrolled right now.  But, I think the fact that you are her biological sibling may trump tribal membership, or that the tribe can give approval for her placement with you.  It may make the situation more difficult, but it is still very possible for her to be placed with you. 

If she is in state care, you will be able to receive Medicaid to pay for her medical bills for sure. 

[APToddlerMama]

Oh, and I thought of one other thing you can do.  Do you have a MA card yourself?  I don't want to pry into the details of your life, but you mentioned having had a difficult childhood and experienced things similar to your sister.  If you haven't already, starting some sort of therapy or counseling will go a long way to helping a social worker understand that you understand the impact your childhood has had on you and have started processing that and healing. 

[langleybaby]

ok i am stil the same person i accidently exited out and now cant get back in etc...  thank you for helping me i will be getting my ss workers number form my dad later today.  APToddlermomma thank you you seem to be the most helpfull.  i am really not sure how to start all of this and i need the clearing up and so the first step should be to contact the social worker....  who or what is Guardian Ad Litem??????

[langleybaby]

what is an MA card?  i have been in counsoling since i first came to live with my dad.  it went form home to individual to both and then back to in home counsoling....

[APToddlerMama]

Originally Posted by langleybaby 

ok i am stil the same person i accidently exited out and now cant get back in etc...  thank you for helping me i will be getting my ss workers number form my dad later today.  APToddlermomma thank you you seem to be the most helpfull.  i am really not sure how to start all of this and i need the clearing up and so the first step should be to contact the social worker....  who or what is Guardian Ad Litem??????

In my state, and maybe yours, the Guardian Ad Litem is an attorney (sometimes not an attorney though) who is assigned basically to advocate on behalf of your sister.  The GAL's usually have way less direct contact with the child, but they make suggestions in court on behalf of the child.  Sometimes they are in agreement with the social worker, and sometimes they are not.  It is best to have both the GAL and the social worker in agreement and on your side, which is why I would suggest contacting both of them.  The court paperwork should name the GAL.  If not, the social worker will be able to tell you that person's name and phone number. 

Originally Posted by langleybaby 

what is an MA card?  i have been in counsoling since i first came to live with my dad.  it went form home to individual to both and then back to in home counsoling....

An MA card is just a Medicaid card.  If you have insurance through the state you live in, it would be through this.  That is fantastic that you've already been in counseling.  That will help. 

[lauren]

I was hoping to merge these two threads, but can't seem to find that function this morning! I am going to lock this one and redirect everyone to the other one so as to keep all the conversation in one place. Anyone looking to participate, please go here:

http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1333577/i-will-be-18-in-november-and-want-to-adopt-my-12-year-old-sister