Tandem nursing...Help me see how to make this work!

[PseudoDiva]

My DS1 is 19 months (almost 20) and DS2 is 6 days old. I successfully nursed DS1 all through my pregnancy. I had hoped to tandem nurse until DS1 was 2 but after a few days I almost wonder if I'm making his adjustment worse, not better. Every time #1 sees me holding #2 he wants to be held and nursed as well. Right now DH is off work so I have an extra set of hands but I shudder to think of what will happen when he goes back. DS1 has always been such a cheerful, independent, secure guy...this week he's turned into a whiny, clingy, demanding child. I feel so helpless. :-(

I want to do everything I can to ease this transition. I kept nursing in part because I thought it would help accomplish that. I try to nurse them separately because DS1 fidgets so much.

I have read the LLL book on tandeming. Thanks in advance.

[dejagerw]

My older DS also went through this. Basically, I'd get comfortable with the baby on the couch or floor, get him latched, then basically just expose my other breast and DS1 could help himself. He was very demanding at first, always wanting to nurse when the baby did. I gave in for awhile, but after a couple months, I had to institute some limits for him. He often wanted to nurse more than the baby, and it was driving me batty. He didn't like the limits at first, but I just explained to him that baby doesn't get yummy foods like he can eat. Baby can only get milk. If he's hungry or thirsty, I can get him a drink or snack, and if he needs snuggles, I can always snuggle him. He's totally fine with the baby nursing now without him. No jealously either.

Good luck finding what works for you!!

[PseudoDiva]

Originally Posted by dejagerw 

My older DS also went through this. Basically, I'd get comfortable with the baby on the couch or floor, get him latched, then basically just expose my other breast and DS1 could help himself. He was very demanding at first, always wanting to nurse when the baby did. I gave in for awhile, but after a couple months, I had to institute some limits for him. He often wanted to nurse more than the baby, and it was driving me batty. He didn't like the limits at first, but I just explained to him that baby doesn't get yummy foods like he can eat. Baby can only get milk. If he's hungry or thirsty, I can get him a drink or snack, and if he needs snuggles, I can always snuggle him. He's totally fine with the baby nursing now without him. No jealously either.

Good luck finding what works for you!!

Thanks!  It's been a long time since you posted this, but I appreciate it. Your advice really helped--I hadn't really considered that I could just let older DS latch on however he wanted.  We have settled into a nice routine and although I still want to cut him back more, I am happy with things again.