Conflicted about things, like toys and crafts.. Boy 4 yr and 2 yr old, Waldor and Montessori

[greenacresmama]

Hey, If I ever was broken down and needed help, this is the hour. 

**First impression of me** I have huge bean bags for couches, live in the woods, and dearly love my kids. 

They are not listening to me about anything. Dad too. Eating, dressing, fighting, picking up toys or helping out. I am bad about the time we do things because I can't let the way we do things die so much! We love to jet out of here and go do fun things, we have such a happy great energy about us and if that one got sacked, then it would not be worth it! We dance! Sing, cook, party, lots of fun, lots of stimulation, star watching, crazy bath times with bluberries. I think it has to do with me getting over cancer.. I can be insanely fun and totally not in a box. 

It is no surprise my kids are getting out of hand. I am wondering if I should strip the toys in half. We don't have as much as everyone else though. It is more like we are really close to an RV life but about 3 notches up. I feel like they have no focus or control and I am not sure if the stuff is making this way or if it bothering so much the stuff is making **me** this way.

I am soooo worried because of HSing! It seems like I have some kind of pressure to have more things around. I feel so controlling to because the Waldorfy toys are staying :( (bad mom) and Montessori HSing things would make the grade too. Anything school like would be better than this huge mess that has me getting so irritated I lock myself in a room to breath and curse so it is not done to them. 

Is discipline just hard? If I take it all away am I not giving them enough discipline? I just think they are sooooo young. But maybe even too young for such a mess. So much stimulation.. It all feels like noise.. 

The kids that had only a few toys seem to love them so much and that is what I look at. The pride of family involvement being more fun then 50 things is also on my mind. Creating things from the art supplies , cooking, etc.. 

I feel like I want to kick my own ass most of all. I just feel like I should have this magic wand and let them have lots of toys, clean 75% of it. But... shakes head...it is spreading out into our whole lives and I am starting to feel like the mess is making them wacky? Can that happen? 

Any advise or stories I would soooo much love!!

[greenacresmama]

Title, should read Waldorf! Sorry!

[LuxPerpetua]

I would definitely simplify because it seems like this situation is just not working well for any of you.  Maybe since Christmas is coming up you can make it a family project to donate things--not just the kids' toys but stuff from parents as well so the kids don't feel targeted.  We live in a small space and one thing I try and do is have us make most of our toys--needle-felting, wax-crafting, woodworking, etc.  Another thing we do is limit gifts.  Bday is 1 gift from us, same with Christmas.  It sounds like you really value experiences, so it's nice to give tickets to an event or a magazine subscription in place of toys.  Same for "active" movement things--dd loves her chin-up bar we bought her as a toddler.  She climbs all over that thing.  You can focus more on outdoor toys--like build a zipline or a tire swing or balance beam.  You can frame the reorganization of your home in terms of making space for lots of fun family projects, so it's more lemonade and less lemon.  I would also strongly suggest rhythm.  We love to do spontaneous things too but I think biologically kids need a semblance of structure each day.  Two books I'd recommend if you haven't read them are Heaven on Earth and Simplicity Parenting.  You can also just Google "Waldorf daily rhythm".  I hope you find a balance that works for you!  Blessings!

[greenacresmama]

I did! Thank you! I am working on it more in a minute! 

I was sighing and whining at first but I am so thrilled not to be driving around the country and in a sweet home! (Mar-Jun) Since we live in a really amazing beautiful mountain country place near DC (get it?) we will be doing a lot of outings still and hiking on beautiful days or even just walking down to the river. So I decided to make another little layer for the colorful wall hanging that says "outing day" which is for when we wake up early enough and make snacks for the long day out of fun (DC zoo is a fav, it's free as is the art museum, etc). I think it is harder on me because DH is here and that whole daddy is home now, doesn't happen. I don't think children have it so rough without a strong structure though, if the big guy is around and loves on them as much as I do. It is just really hard to get him to agree and besides, if I am doing cooking and he is fixing car, mowing lawn, making airplanes, the kids are weaving in and out and whole heartedly choosing. We only have one car and I love to drop them at the playground while I go shopping because it isn't so rough on them to be suddenly without me. And when he rides off alone I try to make crafts and play. I am so much better at play some days. I would love to stay home and make structure the greatest for our kids, but DH would... well.. he may start getting an itch for adventure and I feel like the times we really go actually bring us closer together. The adults get a lot of pleasure and we don't need to go out without them or anything. We love DC, the woods, the beach, other not so close friends and lights up our flames a whole bunch. It really makes DH want to stay home much more and also stay in the area we are living much more (great for my family, not so much for him but mine are a much stronger support for my kids). So I am not going to start singing about that on this day we will x. BUT! I can totally rock that every morning and almost every single evening. I also have the things that never leave - like my sleep song. The games we play at the beach and the games we play in the forest. That means something right? 

I love the idea of making our own toys!!! Maybe soon.. I do some with them.. I really need to try more. It is kind of like I get into the project and the trouble begins. The supplies are like jewels to Athena and then Freddy starts to destroy them even further. He is very upset about his sewing skills so I tried finger knitting stories and lovvvvveee it! Her nap time is prized for this time. How do you frame the home for more projects? What does that look/seem like? 

How did you get the chin up bar? was that on-line? 

[greenacresmama]

how did I forget this? 

I forgot to say, things finally got worse. I was so upset. It was dinner and I told everyone we are going to bed after this because we had to hit the reset button and tomorrow will be so much better and full of listening! Fred flipped out when we went to bed. We read like 12 books to him.. I read some, Dh did and I played with Athena in another part of the room. They went to bed no problem and it was about 7:15. They woke up a little earlier. The whole day I would just be normal but when he wasn't listening I said the same thing, " you are Not listening, and if I have another day of not listening, we will go to bed right after dinner.." and he stopped! And he totally turned and flew right! I am sooooooooo happy I finally got stern with him because my sweet Athena needed something!!! I mean he was kind of ruining it with the toy throwing, not sharing even his mess, and then fighting with her way out of bounds. So it really did help them. 

I am thinking hard about the toys still. I boxed and labeled a few sets and slimmed hers down a bit. We spent a lot of time outside too, cooked together..but the fighting stopped at least. Now onto the stuff... 

[LuxPerpetua]

Chin up bar: http://www.amazon.com/GoFit-GF-CUB-Chin-Up-Bar/dp/B0007W2FLI/ref=sr_1_23?s=sporting-goods&ie=UTF8&qid=1319493681&sr=1-23

[greenacresmama]

Thanks!