8mo VERY needy after daycare days for 3 weeks now

[Ophelia]

DD has been going to daycare 2 full days a week since August (I am an unemployed student and DH had some extra pre-tax daycare money we need to use up before the end of the year or we lose it).

She seemed fine until exactly 3 weeks ago, since then ONLY on the nights after I bring her home from daycare she is extremely needy, MUCH more than usual.  Usually she is my happy-go-lucky girl, fine sitting on the floor and exploring/crawling.  Now on these nights she goes from one extreme to the other.  She will be fine for a few minutes, maybe up to 20 minutes then she cries, cries cries gets very upset and needs to nurse.  Many times the nursings are just short snacks like a minute or two, sometimes they don't seem to satisfy her at all and she's still upset. 

Part of it may be teething as both bottom teeth came in starting Sept. and then 4 top teeth came in soon after that and maybe she has more coming.  I thought maybe that her teeth didn't bother her as much on the days that she is with me because she is more comfortable with me, but I'm not sure.  I've also been told she reaches for her ear (I haven't noticed so much but others have) so I had her checked at the chiro the other day, said it was a little red/irritated and I got some Otocalm (we've also had a nasty cold the last 3 weeks which isn't helping, but it's finally getting better this week).

I asked DCP (in-home) how her typical days go, and she said she plays on the floor, etc. and for sleeping in the morning she will usually fall asleep in a jumper for about 1/2 hour and in the afternoon when DCP notices she is getting tired she lays her in the crib.  I ask if she cries then and she said DD only cries/fusses if she stays in the room, when she leaves the room she stops fussing and goes to sleep. (at home 99% of the time she nurses to sleep).  She also eats 4oz in the morning and 4 oz in the afternoon of pumped milk, which I know is less milk in that time period than what I nurse her directly (we are having food issues so she is not on solids yet).  There has been a few times now where DCP said she was cranky/fussy, especially yesterday afternoon.  Because of this, last week she was only there 1/2 day and I kept her home the other day (I figured she didn't feel good because of the cold).

I know there could be a bit of reverse cycling on those days, but she is SO upset alternating with times of being just fine!  That makes it so hard for me to determine if it's teething, her ears bothering her, or what.

My other thought was that she is now realizing that I'm dropping her off at daycare and leaving her for a longer period and she is getting upset about that.

Any ideas?  I wasn't sure where to post this, for her age group here or in working/student moms.

Thanks!

[greenmulberry]

I wonder if she might be going through a normal phase? My 8 month old has become more affectionate and clingy lately, and I do think teething plays into it.

[CherryBombMama]

Originally Posted by Ophelia 

DD has been going to daycare 2 full days a week since August (I am an unemployed student and DH had some extra pre-tax daycare money we need to use up before the end of the year or we lose it).

She seemed fine until exactly 3 weeks ago, since then ONLY on the nights after I bring her home from daycare she is extremely needy, MUCH more than usual.  Usually she is my happy-go-lucky girl, fine sitting on the floor and exploring/crawling.  Now on these nights she goes from one extreme to the other.  She will be fine for a few minutes, maybe up to 20 minutes then she cries, cries cries gets very upset and needs to nurse.  Many times the nursings are just short snacks like a minute or two, sometimes they don't seem to satisfy her at all and she's still upset. I used to work in childcare. can i gently suggest that maybe this is the only way she is getting her needs met at her daycare and she is bringing that home? generally in daycare, even the best ones like where i worked, if a baby isnt crying, then on to the next baby! there are usually so many babies in a room that the loudest ones get the attention first. she could be picking up on that

Part of it may be teething as both bottom teeth came in starting Sept. and then 4 top teeth came in soon after that and maybe she has more coming.  I thought maybe that her teeth didn't bother her as much on the days that she is with me because she is more comfortable with me, but I'm not sure.  I've also been told she reaches for her ear (I haven't noticed so much but others have) so I had her checked at the chiro the other day, said it was a little red/irritated and I got some Otocalm (we've also had a nasty cold the last 3 weeks which isn't helping, but it's finally getting better this week).

I asked DCP (in-home) how her typical days go, and she said she plays on the floor, etc. and for sleeping in the morning she will usually fall asleep in a jumper for about 1/2 hour and in the afternoon when DCP notices she is getting tired she lays her in the crib.  I ask if she cries then and she said DD only cries/fusses if she stays in the room, when she leaves the room she stops fussing and goes to sleep. (at home 99% of the time she nurses to sleep). do you believe she is being honest?  She also eats 4oz in the morning and 4 oz in the afternoon of pumped milk, which I know is less milk in that time period than what I nurse her directly (we are having food issues so she is not on solids yet).  There has been a few times now where DCP said she was cranky/fussy, especially yesterday afternoon.  Because of this, last week she was only there 1/2 day and I kept her home the other day (I figured she didn't feel good because of the cold).

I know there could be a bit of reverse cycling on those days, but she is SO upset alternating with times of being just fine!  That makes it so hard for me to determine if it's teething, her ears bothering her, or what.

My other thought was that she is now realizing that I'm dropping her off at daycare and leaving her for a longer period and she is getting upset about that.

Any ideas?  I wasn't sure where to post this, for her age group here or in working/student moms.

Thanks!

you said you were leaving her two full days a week, like tue, thurs? IME, those kids had it the hardest, because they arent with the DCP enough to feel fully attached to them for a while longer than most other full time kids. i think 3 weeks is still very early to expect your dd to be happy with staying there. i would say she needs a month or two more.

thats my two cents 

[Ophelia]

Thanks!

 i think 3 weeks is still very early to expect your dd to be happy with staying there.

Sorry, I think you misunderstood my post or I didn't clarify enough.  She has been there since August, so almost 3 months total, not 3 weeks.  She was actually doing pretty good up until 3 weeks ago.  Good point though, about only being there a couple days a week vs. 5 days.  I can see where that might make a difference as far as getting comfortable with the DCP.

She was there today and actually did much better, but I'll keep seeing how it goes.  Sometimes I also wonder if it is a sleep need issue (she is extra tired on those days).