2YO mistreating dog

[mommy212]

We recently (6 week or so ago) acquired a very large german shepard dog. The dog (Saber) is sweet, patient and wonderful with our 2YO son, but the same cannot be said for our son with him. He hits him in the face and eyes, somewtimes with toys like cars or blocks), pulls on his tail and penis, and, worst of all, grabs his ears and yanks down on them or sticks his hands into them (he has delicate and sensitive ears and this will cause him to whimper in pain). We have been utilizing time-outs (our usual method, please no time-out bashing unless it is constructive ideas) when we see these behaviors, and also talked at length (5 or 6 times a day for 5-10 minutes at a time) about treating the dog gently, not hurting him, treating him like you would another person, etc; but his behavior seems as bad as ever and sometimes worse. I know it is hard for him to control his impulses while playing but we really can't let him treat the poor dog like this. Ideas are needed, and any BTDT stories! Thanks all

[lifeguard]

Oy! If I could count the number of times I've said the word gentle in the past two years!! Things that have helped with ds were to actively show him gentle touches with our hands over his & really praising when he does gentle touches.

Most important we gave the dogs a place where they could be away from ds & never left him unsupervised with them. We put a baby gate on the kitchen & if the dog asked or ds was getting too excited the dogs could go in there.

[mommy212]

He knows how to be gentle, and he is gentle with other dogs, but with Saber I guess he feels like he is a toy or something more than an animal. Saber can go outside when he wants so he has a 'safety' area

[Imakcerka]

It's best to keep them apart until your toddler can learn to control his impulses.  DD1 stabbed our beagle with a plastic rake in the stomach when she was two.  Beagle nipped her face.  Or bit however you want to put it.  Guess what I was in the room!  She was pretend raking then decided she was going to hit him.  He decided he was going to bite her.  I was so stupid now that I look back on it.  She was never good with the dog and he had had he patience worn thin.  Now our lab, he loved her no matter what she did but she never felt the need to do anything to him.  She only used his belly for sleeping and he followed her relentlessly until DD2 came along and he had another baby to take care of.  (loves babies) 

So for years the two were kept apart.  DD2 came along and the Beagle decided he liked her and those two were inseparable.  However I was always there or DH was there.  The Beagle followed her and she was good to him.  Always gentle.  Some kids just do not need to be around a pet.  Consider the dog to be another Toddler, would you not separate them?

[pianojazzgirl]

It's a matter of impulse control.  All the time-outs and talks in the world won't make him develop impulse control any faster. 

I agree with pps.  At this age you have to be there all the time to monitor their interactions, and you have to be on "high-alert" (ie. extra vigilant, and assuming that your ds will likely be rough with the dog).  During those times at which you aren't able to give the situation your undivided attention you'll have to separate them.

[NiteNicole]

I agree with the above.  Your child can't control his impulses yet and your dog is suffering for it.  It's unfair.  You need to keep them apart unless you can be between then.  Because two year olds can be fast and unpredictable and because yours seems particularly determined to torment your dog (although I'm sure in your child's head, it's just playing), my rule would be - do not touch.  Just do not touch the dog.

[rainbow_mandala]

My son was the same way with our friend's dog and my mother's dog.  He thought it was fun to hit the poor dogs on their backs with toys and do other things to get their attention.  He honestly thought he was being playful (he was 3 at the time).  Sometimes he would pull on their ears, too, it broke my heart.  I didn't know what to do at first--we were living with our friends at the time and we often saw my mother, so it was difficult to keep him separate from the dogs.  I just kept explaining that dogs have feelings and he needs to stop.  He would seem to understand this for a little while, but then he'd do it again.  After a couple of times of this, I told him we wouldn't be able to play with the dogs at all anymore if he didn't stop.  He stopped after that.  He clearly loved the animals, just wasn't able to grasp that he really, really needed to stop.  He was a bit older than your son, though, so I'm not sure that communicating the way I did would help him, it might be best just to keep them separate from now.