I noticed some one here asked for an update, so here it is.
My daughter did have an evaluation by a psychiatrist, and she is confused by my daughter. She explained that even though what my daughter does indicates some kind of problem exists, she is calm and rational and doesnt display any symptoms of anything worse than teen angst when she speaks. I was given a list of therapists who specialize in difficult cases, like my daughter. No I'm not offended that she called her difficult, I know she can be, and I also know that there are some things that she just will not talk about, like she is trying to pretend that they didnt happen. No one ever gets the full story, except the best friend that she has had for years. She is now home and, aside from some pain from the brand, is doing just fine.
I've been thinking for days, and I think I know exactly what the "wound" is. She went off the rails about a year and a half ago, well she was always a little crazy, but it was normally nothing worse that refusing to listen, constant disregard for rules, and the occasional dissapearing act. About a year and a half ago, 2 girls that she thought were her friends turned on her and started spreading nasty rumors etc. about her. And about a year ago she was involved with a young man for nine months before he died. It was a mysterious death but has never been investigated fully. This also explains the brand partially, he was Japanese, the one who inspired her to take classes on the Japanese language. She save all the money she could and paid over $200 for the first course. I'd willingly pay for her to take the second, she's actually really passionate about it. I know she visits his grave at least every other day, but the mention of his name is enough to make her leave the room, or the house, or change the subject completely. I thought that meant she was over it, but maybe I was wrong.