I'm brand new mom, three months pregnant. Christmas and baby shower are coming up soon. I don't like unnecessary spending but concerning baby, of course I want the best.
I'm wondering what things you consider to be worth investing a pretty penny (for example; one woman told me a baby wrap is well worth the investment) for
and what things you think are reliable used, and what things is it okay to get really cheap?
any tip or advice is very welcome.
thanks!
Yah, the only thing I'd want new is the carseat. It's the little things you have to buy new that add up.....thermometer, soap, baby wipes if you don't use cloth....stuff like that. I do use cloth diapers and wipes but I would still be ecstatic if someone gave me a jumbo sized box of baby wipes. They're just so handy. A wrap is nice to have new I guess, but my ring sling was quit used aand workes just fine through two kids, and I've had a couple perfectly functional wraps purchased off the remnant bolts at the fabric store. I guess technically that would be new. :) You don't even know what kind of baby you'll have so imo it's better to wait to buy things like bouncy seats and swings and playmats til the baby is here. And those items are easy easy easy to find at almost any price. Baby stuff really is so plentiful that it's easy to buy used and still have more than what you need.
Carseat, breastpump, and crib I'd buy new (the carseat because once it's been in a collision you shouldn't reuse it and you can't tell if you get it used, the pump due to risk of contamination as well as the slow wind down of suction over time, and the crib due to changing safety standards). Of course, you only need a crib if you plan on cribbing. If you plan on cosleeping, consider getting McKenna's book Sleeping with Your Baby.
Most of the other stuff you can get on craig's list, freecycle, and thrift stores (often unused with the tags still on). Especially if you start looking now. One book I really liked was the girlfriend's guide to baby gear or something like that. Doesn't really fit with AP parenting values, but for someone like me who knew nothing about babies or what they use, it was incredibly useful. In the end, though, one of the people I work with literally sat down with me to help me make a registry -- people are going to want to buy you stuff.
If you plan on cloth diapering, call the local diaper service and ask to buy "rags". The "rags" are actually (at least in my area) perfectly good diapers with a little wear or a stain... and sell for pennies on the dollar.
If you plan on reading to your LO, check out the library book sales -- they often unload children's books for a nickel or quarter.
Agree with the PP about the little stuff. Hopefully you'll have a grandmotherly type who will get you a bag of "all the things you forgot to get": baby first aid kit, alcohol, soap, lotion, a HUGE thing of baby wipes (you can launder and reuse some of the nonflushable kind).
Anka
Having a bunch of kids I'm asked the "what baby stuff should I skip and what should I splurge on" question a lot. I always tell people to only buy the bare minimum, there will always be plenty of places to buy stuff should the need arise.
Clothes can be bought cheaply or just wait for gifts, there are bound to be be plenty of cute outfits at your baby shower.
A car seat should, IMO, be bought new but a hand me down from someone you trust would work as well. Just check the expiration date and do a search online to see it's been recalled.
A carrier/sling/wrap can be bought used but, again, do a quick check for recalls.
Cloth diapers can be bought used and wipes can be made from old clothes you have sitting around.
Blankets and bibs can certainly be bought used but they're a popular gift item, even if you don't ask for them.
Baby soap/shampoo, nail scissors, thermometer, diaper cream, a bulb syringe, and a soft hairbrush would almost certainly be bought new just because of the nature of these items.
That's about it for what's really absolutely needed. If you really want a crib I would buy it new but if you can verify it's never been recalled then used would work too.
Really, the best way to save money is to only buy what you really need and skip all the 'baby holders' (bouncy seats, high chair, saucer, etc.) and toys. It's amazing how little you really need for a baby.
I have found that you don't really need more than one place to set baby down. Usually just choosing one thing, be it a swing or bouncy seat, walker is enough to have. Baby won't learn to do anything faster depending on all the gadgets you buy. It takes time with baby and stimulation. I'm planning on cloth diapering and using cloth wipes this time. Of course, it's a bit more work than disposables, but it's better for baby's health and envrionmental health for your child's generation. I've found changing tables are useless except to use as shelfing and storage for cloth diapers. I just change baby on the couch or the floor with a blanket. You don't need to buy clothes new. Most infant clothing is lightly used and alot of newborn stuff comes brand new at thrift stores. Also, you don't need a whole lot of newborn clothing(I've never gotten more than 12 newborn outfits or pairs of socks) because they grow out of newborn size rather quickly. I also agree with PP that you would do awesome to buy the carseat brand new unless you get a used one that isn't expired or recalled from someone you trust.
As well as the car seat I went for a new mattress for the Moses basket. The one that came with it had been in storage a while and just smelled a bit musty so I replaced it. We went with a new high chair as the sort we were looking at were not that much cheaper used and we knew we would be using it for many years to come.
In general if I can stick it through a hot wash I will buy it used. If I can look at it and be pretty sure its OK I will buy it used.
That said I prefer to buy in person so I can actually see the item rather than a couple of photos on ebay.
As well as the car seat I went for a new mattress for the Moses basket. The one that came with it had been in storage a while and just smelled a bit musty so I replaced it. We went with a new high chair as the sort we were looking at were not that much cheaper used and we knew we would be using it for many years to come.
In general if I can stick it through a hot wash I will buy it used. If I can look at it and be pretty sure its OK I will buy it used.
That said I prefer to buy in person so I can actually see the item rather than a couple of photos on ebay.
I skipped the highchair alltogether and just got a Bumbo with a feeding tray. 
Books (check your library first): Baby Bargains is a buying guide for new baby items, but it is also useful for finding out the best brands to buy used. The Complete Tightwad Gazette gives a somewhat scattered version of the frugal minimalist approach. The Naturally Frugal Baby goes into probably far more detail than you'd ever need.
The highchair was our big splurge and we went for the stoke trip trap. I haven't regretted it and it is still in daily use after 7 years. Actually we ended up with a knock off one too when DS needed a chair because DD was still using it. Both are ok but the difference in quality is very noticeable and I don't see the knock off one lasting as long.
Actually that is something else I have ended up learning the hard way more than once. I am often better at getting a decent brand of something used than getting the cheep version new. For example if the clothes I;m buying used look OK then I can be hopeful that they will still hold their shape when I wash them. Some of the cheep new stuff I've bought just seems to end up odd shapes, especially PJ tops.
I just have to be a lot more organised in finding the used items before I need it and remember what I've bought in advance!
A few more things I consider essential: earplugs (for sanity), slipcovers for the upholstery, and real locks for at least some of the cabinets (babies quickly grow into inquisitive, mobile children).
New carseat, obviously. (but if it has a long expiration date and you plan on having your kids 2-4 years apart, keep it for the second kid)
New crib, unless you are getting it from a trusted source/its not on any recall.
I got the fisher price strap on chair (not the teeny travel one, but that would work too) we just strap it on the dining room chair, because there wasn't enough room for a separate high chair. And the straps and back and tray can be removed and it is now a booster.
At least one sitting thing for the baby is great (bumbo seat, or exersaucer, or one of those bouncy chairs that goes to a higher weight/converts.
I would buy a crib and crib matress new as well as a carseat and breastpump. Any other things I would just buy used. I would skip a play gym/mat, baby bathtub and a bouncer. We just used a quilt as a playmat, we did enjoy having a swing. It was a safe place to set baby down where the dog wouldnt step on her and she enjoyed the gentle movement. We bought it used. I would make a baby registry and share it with friends family. Register for everything and anything..LOTS of diapers. Even if you plan to use cloth it might be nice to have sposies if you go out IMO.
After the holidays and your shower I would look for local baby/kid consignment sales. You can find lots of clothing at them as well as swings/highchairs or anything else you might use.
If you aren't going back to work right away, or don't know that you're going to *have* to pump, I would also hold off on the breastpump. Wait until you actually need it to buy one. I've had one kicking around for almost three years now, and can literally count the number of times it's been used. Most of those times have been to pump milk for someone else's baby, so definitely not a necessity!
A car seat would be my only must have new. Even then, I would take a used one if it was from someone I trusted and it wasn't recalled or expired.
I would second a pp's stoke high chair suggestion. I *wish* I had thought to ask for one with dd! I still lust after them every time I see one. They are solid, good quality, and can literally be used for years. My ds is almost one now, and dd is almost three, and I don't know if we'll have more babies, but if I found a trip trap used somewhere I would snap that thing up so fast! They're next to impossible to find used though, so I would ask for a new one, if you know people are going to be baby gifting you things. :)
Other random things I didn't really think of that aren't "baby" specific, but would be awesome gifts are things like a kids table and chairs, a book light or headlamp for reading in the middle of the night while you nurse, or dvds of tv series you might like, again, for when you're up nursing (I save grey's anatomy for when I have to get up in the middle of the night and rock a fussy babe back to sleep, sometimes it's the only thing that keeps me from crying about being up. again.). None of those things have to be new though. Although, I don't think there's a big market for used book lights. haha.
Clothes and random entertainment items (bouncy chairs, playmats, jolly jumpers, etc, etc) all have a way of finding you. Don't buy them new. Don't even buy them, just let people know that you're happy to take a used one and you'll likely have three on your doorstep before the week is out. Diapers you can get used, but if you're planning to have more than one child, you might want to consider new, just so they'll hold up through all of your kids. Some of mine (decent quality) have been retired already, and they've only been through 2-3 kids. You do want a wrap. I don't know how people function without one. I have several carriers, and use them, but the stretchy wrap for newborns is my one "essential". You can find them used though. Library sales are a great way to build your own little library.
I always give books or toys as shower/new baby gifts, and refuse to give clothes or blankets, just because people always have them coming out of their ears. You'll see. ;)
Have fun!
The best advice that someone gave me is that "the stores don't close when you have a baby." While it was hard for me to get out of the house for a few weeks, DH would often run to target and grab something, or we'd order something on Amazon and get it in the mail a couple of days later.
That being said, I was so happy to have the following things right after DS was born:
*post-partum goodies for you (food in the freezer, peri tea, easy snacks to eat while nursing, Netflix on demand, nipple butter)
*diapers and such (I didn't think I'd need a changing table, but we got a changing pad for a gift and turned the dresser into a changing table, and it is SO helpful)
*breastfeeding pillow: many moms say this isn't necessary, but anything that makes bfing easier in the beginning is totally worth it!
*pump: my dad bought me an electric one because he knew I was going back to work at 8 weeks pp, but even having a simple hand pump would be helpful. I had some painful engorgement and plugged ducts in the beginning, and it was very helpful.
*carseat, obviously.
*baby carriers. you can spend lots of money on these new, and even a fair amount on used ones, but you can also make them homemade. if someone hadn't given me their old Moby, I would have made this no-sew one for myself, because I have zero crafty skills, but still could have made this one! There are also a ton of tutorials online for easy-to-make carriers, if you are crafty.
*camera!
My first baby is now almost 3 months old, and I'm amazed at the lack of things I've needed to buy for him.
I've gotten all his clothes at thrift stores, as gifts, or as hand-me-downs. There's also a really wonderful exchange in my area: a clothes and toy exchange where parents bring everything they don't need any more on a Friday night, and on Saturday everyone comes back to pick through everything for what they do need. It's all free, save for donations to the resource center where it is held.
I invested in a new baby carrier (Ergo), and I use it every day, constantly. I'm satisfied with this purchase, especially since I'll be able to use it for a couple of years.
I actually bought a used carseat from someone in my community, but I took it to my local EMS to get it checked out and installed for the first time (so I had a demo of how to do it).
I would also suggest accumulating lots of blankets and burp cloths, but thrift it if you can.
Good luck!
What I waited to buy -
A high chair, didn't need it for months after birth. I am so glad I waited. We bought a Sven and LOVED it.
Stroller. Again, I am so glad I waited. What I thought I wanted pre-birth was very different from what I bought later on.
What I had but never needed/used -
A pack and play thing. I had in my head DS would use it for naps but I couldn't stand to have him on the other side of the house.
Diaper Geanie, threw it out after the 3rd day
What I wished I would have had from day 1 -
A basinet. I liked having DS near me all the time. A really simple basinet with locking wheels got used very day, all day long as I could easily move it from room to room.
In lieu of a stroller for the early months, I had one of those universal frames that holds a baby bucket style car seat. We got enough use out of it to justify the cost.
Never missed -
Changing table
Glad I had -
Breastfeeding pillow
With my first, there were so many things that never got used, and a few things I headed out to get when he was 2 days old.
Clothes - really, don't bother. Between hand-me-downs and gifts, you're not going to need to buy clothes for a while. The one exception to this (for me) was baby legs. My guy wore the same 3 or 4 tee shirts, maybe 1 or 2 sleepers and that was it for the NB size (we used wool most of the time). But I only needed maybe 2 pairs of BL - I had about a dozen and most of them went unused.
Breastfeeding pillow - I went out to buy this when he was less than 2 days old. I really needed it, the couch pillows just weren't enough support. And he used it until he was almost 2, it was his favorite pillow to lay on the floor with, snuggle on the couch, etc. Now it's sitting and waiting for #2 to arrive. I did get one that is slip-covered, and I'm going to buy a spare slip-cover this time. Spit up, blow outs, and even just dripping milk can make it nasty quick.
Bulb syringe... heck, the whole first aid kit - never used. I don't like bulb syringes, I prefer the nose frida, which is much more gentle and less invasive. And the nail clippers in there are super dull, I'd rather be careful with sharp ones (on the premise that in the kitchen you're more likely to get cut with a dull knife than a sharp one). The medication measuring spoon just isn't necessary, since most medications come with their own measurement device.
Baby shampoo, conditioner, soaps, lotions, etc. - never used. Not true. Never used on the baby. I used the scent-free CA Baby lotion on myself. But at 2 my DS has never known shampoo or soap - there are too many nasty chemicals in most of them for me to be comfortable with. Baking soda and the occasional epsom salt bath (for rash) are far gentler and safer for baby. Even diaper rash cream, the only ones we've used are a prescription barrier cream (not zinc - for an allergic reaction), and a natural one that is olive (or is it coconut?) oil and comfrey based.
Pack and Play - We never really used it for DS, but it will most likely be used for #2, as a place that is out of DS' reach.
Convertible car seat - Honestly, this can be a big expenditure, and definitely not something to buy used. We skipped the baby bucket entirely and asked the grandparents to buy us this (and they were happy to have a big ticket item to splurge on). At up to $300, buying it later on your own can really hurt the budget. Do your research, find a store that will let you try them out in your car (for fit), make a decision and then ask someone to buy it for you.
Stroller - this is something that is very individual. Do you live in the inner city, close to everything and do a lot of walking and carrying? You'll probably want/need one. Or do you live further out and have to drive everywhere? You may not want/need one. Are you a runner? A farmer's market frequenter? These are all things to think about. Think about how you live your life, how it may change with kid(s), and go from there. Pick one that is going to suit your lifestyle, and again, ask someone else to buy it for you (grandparents can be great for this). Since you're planning on BW, you don't really need one for the early days, so one that holds a baby bucket isn't as appealing, but one that will hold a toddler might be. If you're going to be taking it grocery shopping, get one with a big basket underneath, if you're a runner or plan to use it for exercising, get a jogger, etc. This is one of those items that you can often find used, like on CL, for cheap - just check it out first and make sure it's in decent shape. Oh, and check the weight limit on these things, some of them are deceptively low. I went out when DS was 3 mos and bought a stroller because it became obvious we were going to need it. Now that he's 2, we don't use it as much, but we still use it at least weekly.
Baby bathtub - waste of money and space. I could count on one hand the number of baths DS got in his first year. If he needed washing, a water sling and a shower for mama worked well. Showers for mama can be in short supply during those early times, so a water sling can be a great investment.
White noise machine - Mama found it very calming, baby not so much.
Place to sleep - whatever this is going to mean for your family. Crib? Co-sleeper? Floor mattress? Start thinking about it and shopping around now. Things like cribs and co-sleepers can often be found cheap at consignment or CL - just check for recalls. But you pretty much always want to buy a new mattress, unless it's obviously unused. Old (used) mattresses have been linked with SIDS.
Baby monitor - again, this is a lifestyle thing. Do you live in a small space, and can hear everything from every corner of your place? Not really necessary. Are you going to have baby sleeping right nearby? Not really necessary. We live in a big old house, and can barely hear the baby from the next room without one. We didn't need one until he was about 1, since until then he was sleeping nearby, but since then we've relied upon it. IMO, video is overkill, you really just need to hear whether baby is awake or not, and any decent monitor can do that. Again, think about how you live, and do you want to be looking at a video screen every 2 minutes to check on the baby. If you're techies, I highly recommend a digital monitor, since most analog monitors get too much interference from electrical equipment. We just finally replaced our analog monitors with digital, and there's a huge difference in the (lack of) interference. Do your research, because they are not all the same. But used is just fine if you can confirm that they work - many people just outgrow the need for them.
Diapers - if you're doing sposies, obviously this is a moot topic. If you're doing cloth, do some research and make some decisions on what direction you want to go, what fits your lifestyle. These are great to get used (diaperswappers.com, the trading post here on MDC, consignment shops, and if you're near a city CL or kijiji can be great), just educate yourself before buying. Don't bother asking other (mainstream) people to buy you CDs unless you ask for a package purchase (whether this is a dozen PFs or a NB/infant package that many online stores have). Most people will look at the price of 1 CD and balk at buying multiples, and 1 CD just isn't much help. For most people, this is something they're on their own buying... people who wouldn't balk at buying 6 pkgs of sposies will often balk at buying 6 CDs. Think about all the things that go along with the dipes that you will also need - wipes, wetbags, pail liners, etc.
Humidifier - if you live in a dry climate (whether year-round or only part of the year), this is an important tool in the parent's arsenal. During those times of year when your hands feel constantly dry or the inside of your nose is cracking from the dry, the baby is in even worse shape. Having a humidifier going, especially at night, can help a lot. Research them though - many of them require disposable filters, or other parts that need constant replacing ($$). Hot steam humidifiers are not really suitable for use in a nursery because of the risk of burns, so look for a cold one.
Burp cloths, bibs, blankets, socks, slippers, washcloths, towels, these are all things that people love to give as gifts, and you're not going to die if baby arrives and you don't have any (enough). I would wait and see what you get before buying any of them.
There are many, many other things that you will see in the baby supply area of a big store like Target or even at BRU. Most of them are not necessary in the early days (or at all). Figure out what you need after baby arrives, and get it then.
Breastfeeding pillow - I went out to buy this when he was less than 2 days old. I really needed it, the couch pillows just weren't enough support. And he used it until he was almost 2, it was his favorite pillow to lay on the floor with, snuggle on the couch, etc. Now it's sitting and waiting for #2 to arrive. I did get one that is slip-covered, and I'm going to buy a spare slip-cover this time. Spit up, blow outs, and even just dripping milk can make it nasty quick.
That was my experience. During the day and into the early evening hours, I was downstairs and breast feeding in the kitchen (where we have a love seat) and the living room. All the furniture had down plillows, the type you sink down into to. Comfy for lounging, difficult for breast feeding. The breastfeeding pillow provided the right about of firm support for DS to lay across my lap, the furniture pillows were just too cushy.
I have 4. What I would buy new---carseat. Unless I had a very trusted friend give me one that had never been in a wreck. That is the main concern with a carseat. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING else, other than the stuff you use up such as soaps, I would buy used. EVERYTHING. Literally, you will find TONS of beautiful newborn clothes, they don't wear them long enough to justify new prices. Same for cloth diapers, if you're going that route. Cribs you can look up safety standards and shop carefully. The paraphanelia, highchairs, toys, etc etc ALL you can find beautiful ones barely used and save money. Your baby will NEVER know the difference.
And if you plan on having more, I would save anything gender-neutral, buy your big stuff cute but neutral--like your highchair, again the toys, all of it. Save those things. Not necessairly all the clothes--resell those, you don't know which you'll be having next time or what season, so no sense really taking up space. Maybe a favorite outfit or two and anything you know you will use, but not EVERYTHING (this from a mom who made that mistake ;)) besides every baby is fun to shop a little bit for, and if you've saved the big stuff, you'll have the cash for a few new-to-them outfits ;) :)
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