Mom of a skinny 1 yo wants to know if anyone regrets BLW?

[maba]

*WARNING: Long post ahead with incoherent thoughts*

I started BLW with my 13 mo when he was 8 mo, just when he was able to sit up on is own w/o support. But he never showed any interest, he would't put even his toys in his mouth! He is a happy and super-active baby. When he was 11mo, we visited India to spend time with family for 2.5 months (we'll be returning to the US in 3 weeks). Granparents freaked out that baby was still exclusively BFed and was not eating solids. Much against my wishes and at their insistence, I tried offering him purees which he totally resisted but about 3 days before his first birthday, he took a few bites from a banana when I held it in front of him. Fast-forward 1 month, baby eats some fruit but nothing else (which I think is fine as I still BF him on demand). But grandparents (GPs) feel what he eats is not enough as he's skinny. At 13mo, he weighs about 18 lbs but is super-active and reaching his milestones. He cruises like a pro and has been taking 8-10 steps w/o support. GPs think he is not walking yet because he doesn't get enough nutrition. I know each baby is different and their schedules are different. Pediatricians, both in the US and india, assure me he was doing fine and I'm doing a good job. But due to pressure from GPs, meal-times have become very stressful and I've kind of internalized what they tell me although I know my baby is just fine. I still want to continue with BLW when I return. BTw, I hold him on my hips now and hand feed him as is the norm in India.

GTG, will continue later. anyone regret BLW?

[LynnS6]

I think you need to understand the cultural context the GP are coming from -- they may well be  used to the idea that "skinny babies" = "sickly babies" (and maybe even = "poor families").

I did a combo of letting ds eat and feeding him purees. Guess what? He barely hit 20 lbs. by his first birthday (but was in the 95 percentile for height). Fast forward 10 years: He's still in the 95th percentile for height. He's in the 50th percentile for weight. He wears size 12 slim pants with adjustable waists pulled in. Regular size 12 slims are too big, and he refuses to wear a belt. Actually he's getting close to needing a size 14 slim, but I'm not sure I can get the waist small enough for him, even if it's adjustable.

I did BLW with dd. She's built like a linebacker. She's always been in the 85th percentile for height and the 90-95th for height, i.e. she borders on being a bit overweight. She actually eats more healthily than her brother (much more of a mix of fruit, protein, etc. Her brother is a carbs guy.)

What I'm saying is that a lot of this is genetics. My skinny guy was skinny when we started solids. He's skinny today. My sturdy child was sturdy as a baby and is still sturdy today. She's gonna be a great swimmer, a great modern dancer, not so much a ballerina.

I don't regret doing BLW with dd at all, because I think she eats more healthily because of it. If your baby is healthy, developing well and happy, then smile and nod when the grandparents talk about him being too thin. Your breastmilk has more calories and denser nutrition than many other foods.

[maba]

I'm sorry I had to end the post abruptly due to power outage and UPS running low on power.

LynnS6, you hit the nail on the head with your first sentence. A lot of it is cultural and yes, they keep saying he looks like he's from a "poor family". If he grows up to be a thin, lanky boy, I know they'll keep reminding me that he's thin because I failed to provide him with proper nutrition when he needed it the most. Also, I was a plump baby and obese growing up, so it's hard for them to imagine that my boy is skinny.

Also, we eat primal/paleo-ish at home in the US, something I can never get GPs to understand. Traditional first-foods in India are grain-based and I'm ok with baby having rice, but not gluten. So when I refuse to give him biscuits (Indian-English for cookies), they think I'm putting him on a diet. Paleo or not, I don't think cookies should be a child's first food! And it's hard for me to explain to them that banana, which he prefers to rice-cakes, is actually more nutrient dense than the latter!

I never once compared him with other babies when I was in the US but now because of GPs constantly reminding me how thin he is, I can't help noticing how tiny and skinny he is compared to most babies his age :(

He was 6 lbs 14 oz when he was born and has always been in the 12-15th %ile for weight and height and mid 50's for head circumference, according to CDC charts. At his 9 mo check up, he was in the 5th %ile for weight and height. I'm sure he's off the charts now but his weight is at 3rd %ile according WHO charts and his head circumference is still in the mid 50s. We couldn't get his height taken as he wouldn't stay still when we visited a ped in India.

Sorry for rambling. All I want to know is, is my child's growth pattern fine and is there anything I can do differently to ensure he grows healthy?

Edited by maba - 10/25/11 at 9:32pm

[Megan73]

If you're nursing on demand and offering a variety of nutrient-rich foods I wouldn't worry too much.
I think BLW is great but I've noticed IRL that both BLW and spoonfeeding moms seem to only offer fruit and veg - don't get me wrong, banana, sweet potato, avocado are great foods - instead of a variety of foods with iron, protein and good fats.
At 13 months, your babe likely has a well developed pincer grip. If I were you, I'd just keep nursing on demand and putting small pieces of variety of foods in front of him. Most typically-developing kids will eat what they need. At that age, my older son (who'd mostly been BLW'd) liked feeding himself clumps of rice, kidney beans and chickpeas, soft-cooked meat, fish and chicken, cheese etc.

[Adaline'sMama]

Wow, are you serious that he was 16 lbs 14 oz when he was born? That is the biggest baby Ive ever heard of...was it a typo?

I want to let you know that it sounds like your baby is just fine. I have a skinny baby too, and there are a lot of moms here who do. My DD has been in the 5th percentile for months, in both height and weight. Your baby IS walking! He takes 8-10 steps? Thats walking for a 13 month old.

At 19 months, I have a 21 lb, 29'' little girl who walks and talks like nobodys business. I dont regret BLW at all and plan to do it again. I hope these next three weeks are easier for you

http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1289635/skinny-babies-tribe
This is getting pretty long, and I guess its time to start a Social Group for it, but for now please read this thread and ease your mind a little

[blue butterfly]

dd is 13 months, 18lbs and 28 in.  She eats a ton and is still nursing.  She's just skinny, there is no way this tiny girl could eat more than she already does.    Your lo sounds perfectly healthy, mama!

[dejagerw]

With both DS1 and DS2 we did BLW. Both of them were in the 95 percentile for weight. I don't think BLW is what makes a skinny baby. I'm sure the baby would have likely been skinny being spoon fed as well.

[maba]

Adaline's Mama, typo indeed, corrected it :) 

Megan73, totally agree with you! And add to it the cultural norms of making sure the baby eats rice before offering meat, it becomes difficult to offer them a variety. Once I go back to the US, I'm going to offer him whatever we eat. It's kind of hard to convince GPs here and it's their house, so there is only so much I can do. We don't have a high-chair here, so if I try BLW with him here, there's a trail of food in every room LOL, so for now, I do what moms here do - hold DS in my hip and hand-feed him.

Thank you everyone for the assurance.

[Adaline'sMama]

Originally Posted by maba 

>Adaline's Mama, typo indeed, corrected it :) 

Megan73, totally agree with you! And add to it the cultural norms of making sure the baby eats rice before offering meat, it becomes difficult to offer them a variety. Once I go back to the US, I'm going to offer him whatever we eat. It's kind of hard to convince GPs here and it's their house, so there is only so much I can do. We don't have a high-chair here, so if I try BLW with him here, there's a trail of food in every room LOL, so for now, I do what moms here do - hold DS in my hip and hand-feed him.

Thank you everyone for the assurance.

whew, I was actually hurting FOR you if you had to birth a child that big

[illiterati]

Just to add a data point, my 9 month old has the exact relationship to food as your ds (very reluctant) and he weighs in at a porky 23 lbs :)  We want to BLW but with him turning his nose up at everything it means he's EBF still too. All that just to echo that being thin or thick probably has nothing to do with eating habits at this point.

[LionessMom]

just to offer another view point. my dd1 was fed baby food. purees cereals. etc. she has fructose intolerance and could not handle the fruits and veggies or the sugars from the juice. she is very skinny and it made her malabsorb even the nutrients from the breastmilk. the rice was better for her than the fruit. we did not find out about this until she was 3 and no one could tell me why she looked unhealthy. her belly was always bloated and she had very little fat and very little muscle. her best foods are meat, potatoes, grains, and dairy. with dd2 i already suspected she was like her sister. she would get the dark circles under her eyes when i gave her fruit. so right off the bat i did  not buy baby food, i just let her eat what she wanted. she grew way better than dd1 did and looks way healthier. but it is bc i did not offer her fruit or sugar. her first foods were nice soft hunks of steak and burger. homemade french fries. chicken chunks. herbal teas. cheese chunks. crackers. no fruit, no sugar, no high fructose corn syrup. lots of good fats and frequent carbs. DD1 is 34 lb at 4.5 years and dd2 is 24 lbs at 2 years. the thing about baby led weaning that i couldnt do is to offer them everything. a big symptom of fructose malabsorption is craving fruit and sugar. 

if your child is thin, ask yourself this.... is there enough fat on his face, specifically at the temple? are the butt cheeks rounded, like they should be, or flat? Can you see rounded muscles on the biceps and thighs? are there dark circles under the eyes? if everything looks fine, then his diet is fine. oh, and 85% of people have problems with fructose.

[maba]

I'm getting really worried now because parents keep telling me DS is undernourished and people who see him tell me he looks like an 8 mo!!! He's active, is walking and repeats sounds and when I ask him what his name is, says his name, identifies a few objects.

if your child is thin, ask yourself this.... is there enough fat on his face, specifically at the temple? are the butt cheeks rounded, like they should be, or flat? Can you see rounded muscles on the biceps and thighs? are there dark circles under the eyes? if everything looks fine, then his diet is fine. oh, and 85% of people have problems with fructose.

He has a biggish head and looks chubby, but has a skinny body, with skinny arms and legs. He has skinfolds behind his knees even though he's skinny. His ribs show when he bends. No dark circles, good skin tone.

But he looks really tiny compared to other babies his age. I didn't worry so much when I was in the US as American babies, due to their race/genetics tend to bigger than Indian babies. But he's smaller than Indian babies too and that worries me.

Another question:

What is the deal with cow's milk??? Do breastfed babies need to be supplemented with cow's milk? Parents say DS NEEDS cow's milk. I don't think I have any issues with my supply and baby is content after a feed. I don't see how milk of another species is better than milk of the same species. That said, I have nothing against dairy. Infact, I've been trying to get my baby to eat yoghurt.

[Just1More]

Hmmm, I have more antedoctal evidence to offer.  Dd1 didn't have any solids at all until 1, and then slowly from there.  She weighed about 20 lbs at 12moths.  And hardly gained at all until 2, though she ate like a horse.  (She could, at 17 months, eat 2 plates of adult size portions of spaghetti.)  Dd3 started feeding herself stuff from the floor under the other kids' chairs at 7 months, so we slowly started letting her have things since she was so obsessive about it.  By 1 yo, she eats absolutely everything, and lots of it, and still nurses every other hour around the clock.  And weighs 20lbs. 

I agree with pp...as long as he looks healthy, don't worry about it. 

[LionessMom]

Originally Posted by maba 

I'm getting really worried now because parents keep telling me DS is undernourished and people who see him tell me he looks like an 8 mo!!! He's active, is walking and repeats sounds and when I ask him what his name is, says his name, identifies a few objects.

He has a biggish head and looks chubby, but has a skinny body, with skinny arms and legs. He has skinfolds behind his knees even though he's skinny. His ribs show when he bends. No dark circles, good skin tone.

But he looks really tiny compared to other babies his age. I didn't worry so much when I was in the US as American babies, due to their race/genetics tend to bigger than Indian babies. But he's smaller than Indian babies too and that worries me.

Another question:

What is the deal with cow's milk??? Do breastfed babies need to be supplemented with cow's milk? Parents say DS NEEDS cow's milk. I don't think I have any issues with my supply and baby is content after a feed. I don't see how milk of another species is better than milk of the same species. That said, I have nothing against dairy. Infact, I've been trying to get my baby to eat yoghurt.

people are hung up on cows milk. :shrug: i get it too. 

DD1's head was alot larger than her body. looked out of place really. google malnutrition. research it. that way you can look at your baby with knowing eyes. that will make you feel better. there is alot of info out there on malnutrition and kids. iit will make you feel better to know that everybody is wrong.  or if you do see some malnutrition signs, you can go from there and figure out which foods are causing the malabsorption. seriously, they only way to make yourself feel better and not worry is to do some research. there is one article in particular that i read that specifically talks about where the fat pads should be and how thick they should be to guage your childs health. i wish i would have saved it.

[maself]

Cow's milk is a lot harder to digest than breastmilk!  Goat's milk is another alternative that is more easily assimilated.  In the past, I always struggled to make my kids drink cow's milk b/c I thought that was the right thing to do.  This time, I haven't given my 19 mos old any cow's milk at all or any milk substitutes. - I still breastfeed him on demand.-  (I found out that I'm actually allergic to cow dairy and so are my kids so we are (cow) dairy free.)  One day a couple of weeks ago, my 19 mos grabbed my glass of goat milk and drank it up and wanted more.  I was in shock,  remembering how hard I had pushed cow's milk on my other (five) and had such difficulty getting them to like it.  In my opinion, milk is optional and my kids are healthier, not malnutritioned when they don't drink it.  Be confident that you are giving your son the best nutrition and he won't starve himself.  The GPs may not understand all the things that you are doing for him and that shouldn't make you doubt your ability to feed him well. Your baby has growing spurts and may eat more one day than another and that's ok too.  If he is as active as you say, then he sounds FINE. :)