Writing quickly, so I hope I am able to express myself well enough...
My DS was born 6 days ago at 34 weeks 5 days. He has been in the NICU since. I feel lucky b/c he's had no breathing problems besides the occasional small h2o dip when eating, but even that seems to have gone away (knock wood). He was under the phototherapy lights for jaundice, but is through with that and today he graduated to an actual hospital crib! He even gained some weight. Unfortunatley he still has a feeding tube in and apparently last night they had to use it twice as he wasn't eating very much.
I am torn b/c I have a 2 year old DS at home who is having a really hard time. I suspect he is missing me lots and is just dealing with lots of disruptions to his routine. He wasn't able to visit me in the hospital as he was sick and developed croup. I've been home for 2 days now and spending some time at the hospital and some time at home. We are very, very lucky to have lots of support pple who help care for DS while we are gone.
Anyway, my question is about the whole Attachement Parenting thing and separation from my baby. I coslept w/ DS1, nursed on cue, wore him in the Moby wrap, etc, etc, etc. When I compare the first days of DS1's life with the first days of DS2's life... well, there's just no comparison. DS1 spent his life from day one in loving arms and nursing and DS2 has spent them mostly in an incubator with periods of loving arms.... I feel awful. Will I be able to make up for it? Or is this time he and I have lost forever. I feel so sorry for him and just terrible. I want to be in the NICU 24/7, but my 2 year old needs me too.
Please tell me that he can still be a securely attached baby and no permanant damage is being done. Any been there done that Mamas with reassurances?
Thanks in advance,