Originally Posted by Rosebud1
I have been doing so much research into healthy eating. My child has some chronic issues that doctors have not been able to address (asthma,etc).
Basically we want our child to eat whole, healthy food without preservatives, colors, dyes or too much sugar. And we aren't huge on juice.
You would think this was the most radical, unheard of thing ever.
Adults in our lives are undermining us. My MIL gives our child dairy whenever she babysits her, despite the fact we have explained to her numerous times that she is on a dairy free diet, which has reduced her night time coughs. Today she gave her ice cream. She even questions our choices in front of our daughter. I have told her today that I will provide a packed lunch, and that is all she will give her. I told her I am the parent and these are my wishes. If she disregards our wishes again, I think I will seek alternative care. I haven't told her that part yet.
Also today, my child was given jello at Preschool. With all the childhood allergies these days (hers is a nut free facility), you would think institutions like this would avoid feeding kids. It is a three hour class, and kids bring their own individual snacks daily. I think she was given candy earlier in the week.
Another friend offered her a cupcake today. It's from a mix, with butter and sugar................. but it is "organic".
So in one day, she ate jello, ice cream and was offered a cupcake. She is three years old. This is an ordinary day. But people always say to me, "oh, it's just a treat. Just this once. C'mon Mommy".
When we explain our food decisions to others, it is always met with befuddlement, active challenging, willful ignorance, trickery (I don't think my MIL would have told us she served ice cream, our daughter told us) or sabotage. These are decisions my husband and I have come to after copious research and reading stacks of books. The reality is, my daughter tends to have big temper tantrums after eating junk food. These tantrums seem to occur immediately after she is returned to me. I am wondering if having occassional babysitters so that I can have a break is even worth it, as I pay the price for their decisions.
So, I guess what I am asking is, how do you stand strong when the grownups in your child's life will not adhere to your wishes? Also, do you go cold turkey or zero tolerance? Because I feel by letting my daughter have occassional treats, I am badgered into making even more exceptions.
Why is it an expression of love to give a child something full of carcinogens? Like, daily? The harmless ice cream aforementioned was full of chemicals like tartrazine, which is banned in Europe. When I tell people this, they shrug their shoulders. My MIL LITERALLY shrugged her shoulders. My daughter had another tantrum right after leaving Grandma's today, the ice cream day.
Also, do you ever feel you need to fabricate support from the conventional medical community? Like by saying "her doctor has her on a special diet"? It seems many people will only accept the advice from a medical professional. I feel like as her parent, it is my right and duty to choose how she is fed. And if people don't like it..............
Perhaps it seems that I am overreacting, but the one time I recently sent her to a party without me, recently, she was returned home and minutes later started a forty minute tantrum that was really alarming. I heard later her dinner was animal crackers, plain pasta and lots of juice. Her lunch at the MIL's tends to be things like milk, a cupcake, crackers and celery sticks. Really? Is this how grownups feed children?
Why do grown adults have so little concept of nutrition?
I am not sure how to address the jello thing with her teacher. It is not a public school. My husband said to tell her "we don't give our child junk food" but I think that just puts people on the defensive to justify their choices. I really don't care how you eat, just don't feed it to my kid. I understand that people don't want unsolicited advice, so we only discuss this when people press us and question our choices. At Thanksgiving dinner with the in-laws (sans DH, who was traveling), I was beseeched five times -- oh c'mon mama, just a little ice cream on one of the two pieces of pie you are already giving her....
Maybe there is a way I can carry myself differently or communicate my wishes in a way that people are more likely to accept. People just pay me no mind.
Thoughts, commiseration appreciated!