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Tandem nursing?

post #1 of 22
Thread Starter 

who is tandem nursing? How is it going?


my baby isn't here yet (EDD was yesterday so its definitely going to be soon!) but DD (2.5) still loving to nurse. She is only doing it about 2x per day (and triggering totally painful contractions when she does). But I am still thinking about it, and so curious how its going.


My MWs are very comfortable with it and they both tandem nursed their own kids, so I am confident I will have practical help from them. But I don't have any family members or friends here who did it, and I just know from nursing my first how helpful it is to have some friendly advice/commiseration/whatever.

post #2 of 22

If your dd has not weined yet then you absolutely should tandem nurse if that is what she wants to do. In my opinion it is a little late in the game to cut her off now.

The adventures in tandem nursing book is a great one, not only for practical advice but for validation as well.


DD1 was nursing 4 or so times a day before baby, I am not counting now:). I will give it about a month then start setting a few limits on it. Things are going great and she is so happy that her sister brought her more milk but sometimes she sais that saphira brought her too much milk, lol.

If you have any positioning questions or anything at all just ask. I have been doing this a while and find that it is different with each pair of kiddos.

I love it and feel it is so good for the kids bonding and not feeling left out.

post #3 of 22
Thread Starter 
Unclear wording in my post. I expect to tandem nurse but I am wondering more lately what it will be like for all of us. I've never done it and have nobody IRL other than MWs to bug about it.

I have told DD that the baby will bring more milk. And that babies need to nurse a lot because they don't eat food or drink from cups.

I am totally curious about positioning. Currently I only nurse DD sidelying, but that doesn't seem like it will work!

I really just need to order that book, thanks for the reminder.

I am looking forward to it, I guess, but sometimes nervous. And I have been surprised at how many people are really against it. They are sure it will be bad for me, or for baby. Weird!
post #4 of 22

I am tandeming, kind of against my own desire and better judgement, and unfortunately I kind of hate it.  I actually tried to encourage DD1 to wean when I was pregnant but she is very persistent and we never really finished the job, though she did get to the point of going a few days at a time without.


I didn't have any strong aversion to nursing her during pregnancy (other than the pain) but now I really do - nursing her makes me want to run away screaming.  :(  She often wants to nurse when she sees the baby nursing and I can't handle having them latched simultaneously, so she is constantly melting down about that. 


She has been surprisingly good about the baby though - she thinks DD2 is hers and wants to hold her, change her diaper, and nurse her (!), which is often problematic but definitely preferable to resentment or aggression (of course it is still early).


DD1 is nursing about once or twice a day right now, usually early in the morning - I guess we will limp along like this for a few more months and hopefully she will lose interest as the novelty wears off. :(

post #5 of 22

mambera- sorry that you are not enjoying it. I did have a set that was really uncomfortable to latch on at the same time. We managed though and he got used to the idea of waiting. He was nursing wayyyyyyy more than 2x a day though. Hopefully that will be manageable for you once you get the hang of it.


emmaegbert- sidelieing is not out by any means. When sidelieing (I assume you mean laying down in bed) you would have the baby on the bed and the toddler would help themselves over the top.

Then there is the cradle hold where the toddler is in the regular cradle position and then the infant is in her lap. Works well when the baby is small and not too kicky.

foot ball hold works with both in football hold or infant in foot ball hold and toddler in cradle position.

Just fiddle around with it and you will find a position that works. Dd1 (almost 3) has lots of suggestions for me, some work and some don't :)

post #6 of 22
Originally Posted by theboysmama View Post

emmaegbert- sidelieing is not out by any means. When sidelieing (I assume you mean laying down in bed) you would have the baby on the bed and the toddler would help themselves over the top.


yeahthat.gif  I've also done older on the bed, baby snuggled on me and on top of older.


I will say that I do not love nursing both simultaneously. I don't mind that they are both still nursing, but I prefer that DS1's one nursing session per day be separate from nursing DS2.

post #7 of 22

Things are actually improving a little bit for us... DD1 is not focusing on the nursing quite as much which is good.  I still really dislike nursing her (her latch is very uncomfortable, it never bothered me before I got pregnant and I don't know whether it's her latch that changed or just my subjective perception, anyways I can't tell her what to change so I'm just living with it) but she isn't asking all the time anymore, she seems to be content with the 1-2x a day again which is good and which I think I can handle.


Also very luckily my supply looks good so far, at least compared to last time; so I've relaxed a little bit about letting her nurse anytime other than directly after the baby, which has improved things also.

post #8 of 22
Thread Starter 

now that my milk came in (yay! overnight! wasn't even 48 hours!) I am actually enjoying nursing the older more than I have since before I got pregnant. she has nursed only slightly more than usual since baby was born. It seemed to be her nursing that really kicked labor off for me too, so I guess thanks to her for that.


We have done a couple of sessions of nursing at once, but mostly I am trying to encourage the older to stick with her usual nursing (which is before nap and before bed). But with that uncomfortable over-fullness of the new milk it actually seems kind of nice to have another nursling. She seems excited about the milk. I assume baby is getting enough, her interest in nursing is definitely going up now that there is milk for her.

post #9 of 22

Still nursing over here!  So glad to see this thread.  I only know one friend IRL who tandems.  It is going well so far, but DH hasn't gone back to work yet.  


DS1 is learning what "later" means, which is a relief.  He doesn't come running for me the second I nurse DS2, which is a huge improvement.  Again, we'll have to see what it's like once DH goes back to work.  I have plenty of milk for both boys, though, and DS2 started gaining in his first week!  

post #10 of 22
Thread Starter 

Ah, baby having a mini growth spurt, and DD1 was home all day with me yesterday and asking to nurse a lot, by the end of the day I was really not liking all the nursing. I wanted a break! But feeling better about it now, and DD1 has sort of asked to nurse but not insisted yet today, and she goes to her playgroup for 3 hours this morning...


trying to stay relaxed about it all. I have plenty of milk which is wonderful, focusing on that positive aspect. And true, engorgement and nipple pain is a lot less with the continued nursing from toddler.



post #11 of 22
Thread Starter 

oh, and I do have two IRL friends who are pregnant now (due December and March) who I think will be tandeming (seems like it now since their olders are still nursing). So even though I have no friends doing it right now, its even nice just to be able to talk about it with them.

post #12 of 22

I am really, really not digging tandem nursing. :(

post #13 of 22

Awww.  hug2.gifSorry, I just now saw this.  What's going on?


We've been through some rough patches too.  We're still doing it, and DS2 will be 7 weeks on Saturday.  Yay!

post #14 of 22

shonahsmom- so sorry you are having a tough time. There are times it makes my toes curl (and not in a good way) when my almost 3 yr old nurses. I have set some major limits on it and cut it way back and that is helping a lot. it took about a week for her to not freak when I reminded her of the schedule but she is good now. first thing in the morning (the wake up nana), before nap (the i'm gonna take a nap nana), after nap (I took a good nap na na) and at bed time (the bed tiem nana).


How is everyone else trucking along?

post #15 of 22

I am SO TIRED of nursing.  


My toddler asks for it constantly.  He is getting better at understanding: "No" or "Later" but it's still very hard.  I try to re-direct, get him to bring me a story or a toy, but usually it ends up that he gets into something he's not supposed to have.  Very frustrating.  Often at that point I just give up and let him nurse.  He is really testing boundaries these days and needs constant watching.  With the baby on top of that...I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed.  I know it'll get better though, and I'm so thankful I get to be at home with them.  


The baby is doing great.  He was 8.15 at birth and now is 11.14 as of Tuesday.  Nearly 3 pounds since birth!

post #16 of 22
Thread Starter 

its going ok for me but sometimes at the end of the evening I feel so DRAINED from nursing the baby and the 2yo. For a few weeks there I literally felt like I was nursing non stop from around 6pm to 10pm. That is getting a bit better. My older nursling is 2.5 so she is old enough to understand some limits on the nursing though I am not super strict about it. I generally just nurse her before bed, before nap, and when she wakes up in the morning if she thinks of it. She is really, really into nursing at those times but pretty well accepts the limits.


Sometimes I nurse them together but not often. Today for naptime I rigged up a two-layer side-lying deal with the baby on the ergo infant insert next to and slightly on the bigger one. Ugh. I really don't enjoy double nursing like that but the girls seem to really like it.


I heard my older telling her dolls she can nurse "two girls" and then sat there nursing two of them together. Sometimes when she sees me nursing the baby she asks, "how about two girls?"


Bigger girl is also kind of picky now- "that one tastes funny" etc. Apparently one breast has a different tasting milk?!?


Little baby is a great, avid nurser, good latch, I have no complaints.


Oh and yes, toes curl in an icky way from the older nursling sometimes. Her latch totally didn't bother me before but now, yuck. I think with the milk in she is sucking more and so I notice it?

post #17 of 22

Better here too.  The horrible aversion to nursing my 2 y/o is fading a bit.  It's still not pleasant but no longer feels so... violating.  She is much cooler about it too.  We are pretty much down to 1x in the morning.  Sometimes she asks at other times but I can usually distract her, which rarely used to be possible before.  She is enjoying nursing (and diapering and wearing) her stuffed animals.  I think I can live with this for however long I need to.

post #18 of 22

Better over here too.  He nurses really well when he's on his own, but tends to fidget horrible when they're both latched on.  We're down to 2-3 times a day.  

post #19 of 22
Thread Starter 

toddler nurser just hurts. not at first but after a while. I can hardly stand it sometimes. and she has taken to sqeezing and pinching while nursing which makes it worse. I always stop her but she always wants to do it... ugh.

post #20 of 22

We have set strict limits here and it is working. She nurses when she wakes up, before nap, after nap, and at bed time. She just turned 3 in dec. we have scheduled her weaning ip at the end of April so we will cut down 1a month starting in February and then she will get a big weaning party and my dad will take her to Disneyland for 3 days. When she comes back no more nana's. I think she gets it.

i try not to nurse them at the same time anymore. Dd1gets so few I want rose to be special, although if dd2 needs it then we nurse everyone at the same time.


Emmaegbert- I hate the pinching, scratching, squeezing, milking, teeth nursing, etc. that toddlers do. Stopping and relatching has helped us. Hope it gets  better for you.

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