Thank you mamas! I got out the feeding tube thingy for the next feed, and tried that but she was screaming too much and way too mad to even take my nipple in her mouth, much less get the tube in there next to it. I also have the SNS one that hangs from your neck - I might try that too, since I don't have nearly enough hands to juggle the baby, the boob, and all the equipment, LOL! I also tried finger feeding with the tube, but she couldn't seem to maintain suction for more than 1 suck. Maybe she was still too upset or maybe I was holding my finger wrong. Holding her in the cradle hold with my right arm, using my left hand, middle finger upside down so the pad of my finger was against the roof of her mouth with the end of the tube on the pad of my finger. Is that right? We did this a lot the first few weeks, but then gave up because the bottle was so much faster and I foolishly thought it would all work out once she gained some weight and her mouth got bigger.
We ended up going to the bottle and she drained it really fast and then fell asleep. The feeding after that, we tried starting with finger feeding, and she did give it a fair shot, but it felt like my finger was too big (same finger I used when she was under 5# though, I think) and it almost seemed like something was hurting her. Maybe I was poking the roof of her mouth with the dumb tube, I don't know. So, we very briefly tried boob and that was a no-go. Oh, and I had done some reading by that time on nipple refusal, so I was topless and had my boob and nipple right next to her face while we were trying to finger feed. Anyway, that feed ended up being bottle as well.
Something that really struck me in the reading, and that had occurred to me but just in a generic sense of trying to get her to relax, was the idea of getting in the warm tub and "re-birthing". We had a horrendously difficult end of pregnancy, and there was a lot of preterm labor ctx, and I felt very strongly that she NEEDED to be born asap, despite being only 34 weeks (and yes, I've had 4 other preterm/preemies so I know how bad that is). Then, suddenly the feeling reversed, the ctx stopped, and I just knew that she was afraid to be born. I truly thought it was down's syndrome or something and that she was afraid we wouldn't love her. Anyway, I ended up with pre-e, and after a partial placental abruption she was born via c-section. Turned out she had vasa previa, and if I had not had the abruption and transferred to the hospital she certainly would not have survived and I possibly would not have either. Even the way it went, it was pretty miraculous. 98% fatality rate. SO - yes, there was massive birth trauma for both of us, and I believe she was experiencing trauma in-utero for 3-4 weeks prior to the birth. (Most everyone else would think I'm nuts, but I hope that you all will understand what I'm saying with all this!)
So, I had already been thinking about the tub thing just to relax her, but when I read about it from the viewpoint of re-birthing, it really struck me. She never even got her original birth. And we had a very rushed postpartum, as my husband had just gone back to work out of town the week she was born, and we moved to the other end of the state to be with hubby when she was 10 days old. So it's been chaotic to say the least.
I am going to try the tub thing tomorrow when the other little ones (3yo and 1yo) are napping and see if we can get anything going then.
Is the best supplement aid the one that hangs from your neck, or is there a way to juggle everything using a bottle with the tube through the nipple? I'm guessing you simply have to have them attempting to latch on first before you can get that tube inserted into their mouth, right? Any tips for doing the finger feed a better way? She is up to 9-1/2 pounds now, so I don't think my finger is actually too big, unless I'm using the wrong finger.
Thank you so much!
Tracey aka MouseBandit