Struggling with an "Explosive Child" when the health system fails you.....

[momneedshelptoo]

It all started when my beautiful daughter was 18 months old. Explosion after explosion, getting worse as the years have gone by. She is now 8 years old and extremely good at school and smart as a whip in class, but at home it's a whole different ball game! She is the only one out of the 3 to act like this, to be inconsolable, extremely aggressive, and just down right volatile! She has been to 4 different councilors, numerous doctors and specialists, child and youth mental health programs and no one can seem to help. I started reading the book "The Explosive Child" and was amazed that there were other children out there with the same problem, that no one can seem to diagnose. The book brought me to tears before the end of the first chapter as it was like the book was written about our life, our story. I love my daughter with all my heart and would do anything and everything for her, but this is the one problem I can't seem to fix and I feel like I am going to loose my mind in the process. I am full of regret, resentfulness and fear, and it's all because of a child. My child. My other children are as "normal" as can be. Happy, healthy, obedient and full of life. But the 8 year old is a whole other story. Everyone kept telling me that "it was just a phase" and that "it would get better the older she gets", but it's only been persistent and gotten worse over time. Nothing has ever changed, no matter what kind of work we put into it or what technique we've tried, nothing ever gets easier or better. It only gets worse. I cringe when she wakes up in the morning wondering what the day is going to bring for us and when it's going to start. What tiny moment is going to cause "the meltdown". How long is it going to last today, and what kind of vulgar behavior are we going to endure. It's not just happening during the day anymore. It's happening during the middle of the night too. Keeping everyone awake and no possible way to console her or help her. Just letting it run it's coarse until finally she is tired enough to fall asleep for a few hours. I just don't know what to do or where to go from here anymore. No one seems to be able to help her or our family. No one has a solution that will make a difference. I am so afraid for her and for the health of our family. I just don't have the answers anymore. I'm too exhausted! Does anyone out there have a similar story with a successful result? Does anyone have an answer? 

[SpottedFoxx]

My son had severe melt downs.  They'd last over an hour, he'd cry for no reason, he'd lash out for no reason.  His teacher told me that she had noticed that the explosions weren't consistent and typically happened after lunch.  We wondered if it wasn't a food sensitivity or allergy.  Our developmental pediatrician had recommended the Feingold Diet.  We decided to start slow and remove food dyes and within 2 weeks, the explosions stopped.  One day (right before a therapy appointment), we had allowed him a single peppermint candy (the kind that has the red stripes).  Within 10 minutes, he was in a full on, uncontrollable melt.   You'd be amazed at what has food dye.  If it's brightly colored and doesn't come out of the ground, it's got food dye.  Hell, pickles have yellow food dye!  

Maybe take a good look at her diet.  Remove food dyes and see if that works.  If not, you may want to explore the possibility of oppositional deviance disorder (ODD).  You'd need a pediatric psychologist or psychiatrist to rule that in/out.

Good luck!

[Emmeline II]

ODD is not typically a stand alone diagnosis

Children With Oppositional Defiant Disorder

I would consider an eval at a place like this:

http://www.pediatrics.uthscsa.edu/centers/hope/index.asp

Also, there is something I read yesterday that the night disturbances brought to mind--that in bipolar disorder children can have manic episodes in their sleep, and lack of sleep can worsen (or even be the cause) of behavior issues; a sleep study can determine if she is getting enough quality sleep...I'm not suggesting any particular diagnosis just some ideas.

Sleep and ADHD - Lack of Sleep and ADHD

ADHD and Food Allergies - ADD ADHD Advances

ADHD and Food Allergies - Adhd in Child

Food Allergy Testing for ADHD and Autism

[Roar]

That sounds really frustrating. Some additional detail may help people give you some more constructive suggestions. You said that "no one can help" and that the "health system" has failed you. What sorts of interventions have you tried so far and what was the result?  How long did she see the counselors - did any of them seem more helpful than others? What is her schooling situation and how is that going? You mentioned the Explosive Child book, has she seen a therapist who works with the Collaborative Problem Solving strategy? Does she have any diagnoses? Have you tried medication?