Mom of 5 yr old intact boy-questions-pls help

[es1967]

Hello, my son is 5 yrs old and not circumsized.  Sorry, if these questions are silly but if I ask my DH he will make me take DS to the Dr.  Okay my first question is lately my son has been saying his underwear is bugging him-too tight and the car seat strap is bothering his penis.  I noticed that he is becoming erect during times of the day.  It seems this is normal from what

I have been reading on these forums.  How do you go about explaining this to your 5 yr old?

I did notice sometimes it happens when he has to pee and other times not. 

My second question was when I looked closely at his penis I noticed little bumps under the

skin?  is this normal?  I have never noticed them before and thought this might be the best place to ask.  As I said if I mention it to my husband he will freak out and say to take him to the dr .

Since birth these are the only issues we have had.  Although, a dr retracted him at around 2 yrs old during a checkup.  I was mortified.  Atleast, that is what I thought I saw.  I immediately found another dr. 

Thanks for the help and this forum is a great resource.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

I have noticed the little bumps (like a bit of chicken skin but not that bad) with ds as well never gave them much thought or anything though. If he was complaining I might worry but he hasnt said a word so I figure it is normal.

I have told ds when he gets an erection that it is normal and that it is supposed to do that and nothing to worry about and he seems to have accepted that. It is normal I think as they age to notice erections more and get them more.

[mama24-7]

You could say that the penis has more blood come to it some times, like when it's rubbed, so that's why it changes like that.  

You didn't say if he is retractable at this point or not (which is normal if he isn't!), but if he isn't, could it be smegma under the skin?  And, if it is, that's normal too.

Sorry you have to deal w/ a fearful dh.

Sus

[es1967]

Thanks for your replies.  I've never seen him retract before.  Like I said when he was 2 yrs old a dr did retract him-so would that mean he is retractable?   I just looked at the bumps again.  The are just slightly raised areas.  Looks like something under the skin-but slight.  Lighter in color.  Its terrible that i cannot even take him to the dr about these issues and get a correct answer.   The current pedi we have now has always been in agreement with what is said on these forums.  But when I saw him (Dr)last I asked about the retraction thing and he said by six he should be able to retrarct.  Which I have read on here and even someone posted a link from the american pediatrics that they may not retract until 10 yrs old or after.  So now I have to doubt his advice re this issue.  So if I go into the dr's office I will take the printout to show him.

Its tough having a DH who is just phobic about anything natural- drives me insane. 

[es1967]

The bumps are not like chicken skin bumps.  They are larger -flat raised areas but slight.  Maybe its just the ways it is?  I don't know.

[LonelyPageTurnr]

Originally Posted by es1967 

Thanks for your replies.  I've never seen him retract before.  Like I said when he was 2 yrs old a dr did retract him-so would that mean he is retractable?   I just looked at the bumps again.  The are just slightly raised areas.  Looks like something under the skin-but slight.  Lighter in color.  Its terrible that i cannot even take him to the dr about these issues and get a correct answer.   The current pedi we have now has always been in agreement with what is said on these forums.  But when I saw him (Dr)last I asked about the retraction thing and he said by six he should be able to retrarct.  Which I have read on here and even someone posted a link from the american pediatrics that they may not retract until 10 yrs old or after.  So now I have to doubt his advice re this issue.  So if I go into the dr's office I will take the printout to show him.

Its tough having a DH who is just phobic about anything natural- drives me insane. 

There's actually not a general consensus on when boys should be retractable.  Some studies say by 3, others by 6, and I believe I've only read one that said 10.5, which is the most quoted.  Personally, my opinion is that the foreskin retracting has no purpose  other than sexual.  If it's not impeding urination, I say leave it alone.  You may try to ask your doctor why it is that he believes that at such an arbitrary age your son needs to be retractable.  Tell him your son has no problems with urination or infection and you'd like a clear, concise explanation of why it is that 6 is the magic number.  If he can't give you one (and he can't), then explain to him that as long as your son is not having trouble with urination or infection, you will not pursue any medical 'remedy' until he's past puberty.  Even then, some men simply never retract. 

Regarding the erections/pain, men and boys are more sensitive when erect, that's most likely the issue.  Let him know that often when you have to pee really bad you'll get an erection.  Sometimes his penis will get erect when it's stimulated by touching or rubbing clothes.  Let him know that it will go away (also, that's a really good time to have the 'privates are private, no one but mom or dad (or physician if mom or dad are present) should be touching them right now'), and that it's totally normal.

The little bumps may be smegma pearls.  If so, they'll work their way out on their own.

Good luck.

[MichelleZB]

Look at your own areolas and the tissue around your inner labia. Do they have similar little bumps? Yeah, those are glands, and your son's penis and scrotal sack comes by them naturally.