DD is 5 and began school in August.
She's settled in really well and loves going. She's made dozens (literally) of friends and plays with about 20 kids on a regular basis (she will usually name 8 or 9 a day when i ask "who did you play with today?").
She and a couple of friends are having a bit of an issue now...
DD initially liked and played with these 2 girls, i'll call them B and C, about equally. C's second language is English so though her comprehension is excellent there are some barriers (getting less by the day) with communication for her. DD likes her and i have spent time with her mother a few times (we also get on fine). Then DD became close with B too and began to come home saying "i want to play with B but C won't let me". I encouraged her to "play games EVERYONE can join in with." and "talk to the teacher if you feel upset about it."
She's tried both of those but it seems that now C really doesn't want DD to play with anyone else, and will physically grab her hand/coat and DRAG her away from other girls, not ONLY B, but ALWAYS B iyswim. She doesn't want to play games with anyone but DD and yesterday for the second time in as many weeks DD ended up in tears over it, as B was ALSO becoming possessive and DD ended up literally with one holding each hand and screaming at each other over her head!
She was rescued by an older child and cheered up by them, and came home in good spirits despite this, but i'm getting more worried about it now. I will talk to C's mother when i can, but she's working part time so i won't see her again until Monday, and i don't want to blow it all out of proportion you know?
This morning DD and i were waiting in the playground for the bell to go and C arrived, then B arrived. DD looked longingly at B then sighed and said "i want to play with C but you won't let me will you" to C. The bell then rang, which helped immensely, but i didn't know what to say to them all. I'd begun saying "you can all play TOGETHER" when the bell went.
So in addition to all this, the more passionate C gets the more frosty DD gets, which is obviously very painful for C. DD has had this problem before with a friend's son who has ASD (which i thought might be why he was so full-on as he is that way with others too). The more passion the other person displays the frostier DD becomes until it is basically bullying-by-exclusion against the other person.
I am totally lost with this - who thought 5yo playground politics could be so complex!? DD does understand what is behind C acting this way as she has told ME that if B plays with someone else she feels jealous inside that someone else is playing with her friend, but she deals with it differently by finding someone else to play with. DD is upset if C gets upset, but is also upset if she's unable to play with B or the others. It would be easier if C had other friends, but she seems focussed on DD only, and is putting most of her energies into that, and not wanting to play with others.
Today DD is going to tell the playground assistant, who she knows and who is kind and listens to the kids and helps them sort out problems - i taught DD the word "possessive" and what it means, and the ways people can feel and act possessively, in the hopes that the grown-ups will "get" what is going on better. Still worried.
What should i do? What shouldn't i do? Any ideas from mums of girls who've been through this would be so welcome, sorry for the novel!