c-birth/c-section/surgical birth forum request - Page 2

[seili]

Storm Bride, I think maybe it is actually the term 'giving birth' that upsets you. The word 'birth' alone just mean emergence of the baby from the mother's body. But I really do not mind "C-sections". The name really doesn't upset me unless you are calling the forum something that wouldn't really make sense like, "Non-birth". I know that's silly, but I'm just saying I don't think any of the labels that the forum could be called would upset me.

I do think it would be great to have a place to discuss c-sections without upsetting some others. Also, it can be a place for anyone looking for education about the risks, comparisons, etc, especially since most women on here don't initially choose a completely elective c-section.

Edited by seili - 10/27/11 at 2:23pm

[MeepyCat]

Originally Posted by seili 

I do think it would be great to have a place to discuss c-sections without upsetting some others. Also, it can be a place for anyone looking for education about the risks, comparisons, etc, especially since most women on here don't initially choose a completely elective c-section.

I think it would be incredibly helpful to a lot of mothers to have such a place.  It certainly would have made the journey towards my c-section easier if I had been able to read more diverse perspectives on it than I could then (or can now) find on MDC.  And now, two years post-c/s, I still feel that I can't talk about my daughter's birth here, because it was surgical, but I didn't feel traumatized or upset by it.

[McGucks]

I'd like to see a c-section forum, too.  I joined MDC after an unexpected emergency c-section and felt kind of alienated sometimes and like I shouldn't admit I had to have one.  I can't be the only one who has felt that way.

I still don't quite understand the Social Groups thing, in addition to my understanding that they can be "closed" to some members.  My preference would be that it be a regular forum like the others.

Having a live child, regardless of the exit route, is an accomplishment to be cherished and celebrated.

I understand and support MDC's position on the benefits of natural/vaginal birth, but it's not an option for everyone, for more reasons than I am aware of, I'm sure.

Edited by McGucks - 11/15/11 at 5:42pm

[DoubleDouble]

I'd like to see it, too. One just never knows what can happen, I want to have some knowledge.

[Snapdragon]

I actually felt a lot of support around my c section from MDC discussions.  there were a few threads in the birth section and some in healing birth trauma that showed me that there were a lot of people like me who had set out to have natural homebirths and ended up w- c sections, and it really helped me process it. But I agree that it would be nice to have a c section forum here on MDC but I also understand why the moderators are reluctant as one of the original sentiments of MDC was to support "natural' childbirth. Still, I would fully support a c section forum here on MDc and I think it would help a lot of women.

[CI Mama]

Here's how I see it: is it more important that MDC be ideologically focused on natural birth or that MDC be a source of information and support for women trying to achieve their best birth?

If the ideological focus is the important thing, then I get the need to restrict conversation around c-section to topics such as how to avoid a c-section and why having a c-section is so inferior to having an unmedicated vaginal birth. 

But if helping women, and being a source of information and support, is the more important goal, then NOT providing a forum on c-section is a problem. Women who are trying to have their best birth need to understand c-section and how it can fit with an orientation towards natural parenting. Women are best served when they can share and process their birth experiences no matter how those experiences go.

I guess it's pretty clear that I think that helping women & providing information & support is more important than adhering to a strict ideology.

Women are asking for this forum...all kinds of women...those who have had c-sections and those who haven't, those who are new to MDC & those who are "old timers"...and many of us who carry the title "supporter" under our name. A c-section forum on MDC would fill a need and would IMO make this a better site.

I'm still hoping Cynthia is reading this thread and will weigh in at some point....

[HappyHappyMommy]

Originally Posted by CI Mama 
if helping women, and being a source of information and support, is the more important goal, then NOT providing a forum on c-section is a problem. Women who are trying to have their best birth need to understand c-section and how it can fit with an orientation towards natural parenting. Women are best served when they can share and process their birth experiences no matter how those experiences go.

I guess it's pretty clear that I think that helping women & providing information & support is more important than adhering to a strict ideology.

Women are asking for this forum...all kinds of women...those who have had c-sections and those who haven't, those who are new to MDC & those who are "old timers"...and many of us who carry the title "supporter" under our name. A c-section forum on MDC would fill a need and would IMO make this a better site.

I have not had a c-section or a homebirth or a UC, but I strongly believe that MDC should have all of those forums. 2 of the 3 are already here. I hope that MDC's leaders will respond to this clear and reasonable request from its community.

[tangledblue]

Agreed. There are c-section specific medical and personal issues that I think many people would benefit from discussing; recovery, nerve damage, diastasis recti, recommended duration to next pregnancy...etc. For instance, I was reading something recently about extended painkiller use making recovery harder. People could share their experiences about that. Or share info on docs that encourage vbac etc. Or how to prepare for coming home with a new baby while recovering from surgery. There's a whole list of topics for such a forum. 

Also, it would be nice to have a place to celebrate c-section birth stories, because all babies deserve celebration, and so that people could know what to expect. I first found MDC during my first pregnancy and miscarriage, and I found the personal miscarriage stories so tremendously helpful. It would have been nice to have the same for my second pregnancy, where I knew a c-section was likely (breech baby). 

[ChitownTracy]

.

Edited by ChitownTracy - 7/19/12 at 7:58pm

[Youngfrankenstein]

Originally Posted by CI Mama 

Here's how I see it: is it more important that MDC be ideologically focused on natural birth or that MDC be a source of information and support for women trying to achieve their best birth?

If the ideological focus is the important thing, then I get the need to restrict conversation around c-section to topics such as how to avoid a c-section and why having a c-section is so inferior to having an unmedicated vaginal birth. 

I really have never understood why they don't have a "mission statement" when joining or something.  Saying they advocate A, B and C and that they don't advocate X, Y, and Z.  They can declare what the purpose of the board is.

I never want and C/S mom's to feel unwelcome.  I don't want a board, and it seems no one else does, where "anything goes".  I don't see why there couldn't be a C/S board with a statement of acknowledgement on top of being compassionate about it.  I had a homebirth, I would never UC and I can't say I "support" the idea but I do think that moms can make their own decisions and understand and respect moms who go that route.  I don't think it's contradictory.  I know there are moms who feel homebirth is "wrong" but they should offer helpful advice or constructive critizism in the homebirth board or stay off of it.

[hildare]

a few other points:

i personally dislike the groups format, and as many other posters have said, there are forums for the other births.  why NOT cesarean?  also, the groups are difficult to find and also to comment within.  i feel that a forum is a perfect place for mamas to have a space for discussing cesareans and all the factors associated with this. 

while i really appreciate the "births after cesarean" suggestion for a name for the potential forum, i think it might not be the best possible choice. i know there are some mamas for whom that very first c-birth, and subsequent ones too, are the only logical medical option (like for pre-e, or obstretric cholestasis, or for nontransmittal of certain std's for example.. and many breech births, etc.)

and too, i think much of the usefulness of mdc for many people is that some folks happen upon mdc while googling.  just naming a forum cesareans or something like that is likely to attract a mama who, for example, has been told by a physician that she needs a cesarean because her baby is "too big" and reading in a forum here she might decide that's not the path she wants to take...

i really think it's disconcerting if the admins of the site continue to treat cesarean as though it has no place within the natural birth community. 

there are also many doulas here who could benefit from reading about c-births, birth stories, and i think this is a chance to really make cesarean mamas feel accepted and create a really positive atmosphere.  it's very needed.

[Simonsez2u]

 

As a Mama whose first birth experience was an unexpected cesarean and second birth experience a much wanted natural VBAC, I would be interested in participating in a forum for Cesarean births.  While the cesarean birth of my son was not what I wanted or expected,  welcoming him into the world was one of the happiest days of my life. 

Personally, I was so intent on a vaginal birth for my first that I did not properly prepare myself for the possibility of a cesarean.  Had I done so I think it may have been a less traumatic experience for me.  Why not have a forum as a source of knowledge and discussion for women to freely share their experiences and emotions (both positive and negative) as they relate to cesarean births?

[irishmamacat]

Surely pretending that the  birth experiences of 20% of women are invalid is not a helpful jumping off point.

Natural birth is an ideal, and like all ideals, for some it is unobtainable.

I have no intention of VBAC- in my case it is simply too unsafe, and the c-section I had was actually fine- BECAUSE I had prepared for it, come to terms with it and knew what to expect.

I'm being the best mother I can be-  if that means risking my own life or the life of my baby by  choosing an unsafe method of delivery, just because it is"natural" - count me out.

If I can read or talk about every other aspect of my parenting here, but have to pretend to be sad, or traumatised, or unhappy about one of the most joyous experiences of my life just to fit in with the Mothering Groupthink- count me out.

I don't plan to VBAC, I have no Birth Trauma to Heal- where should I go?

Make somewhere where we can talk honestly, share experiences and support each other- nobody has to read it if they don't want to.

Edited by irishmamacat - 10/28/11 at 11:40am

[Snapdragon]

I just want to add- There seems to be a big gap in discussion between people who "choose" versus "have to" have c sections- I hear this a lot on MDC- people saying that someone who has one for x,y, z reason is justified, but someone who has one for other reaosns is not. I personaly think each woman has the right to give birth in the way she feels safest- even if that means choosing a c section. I know that is a contraversial topic- and is totaslly slanted by my own experience- I was 100% about natural homebirth until I actually gave birth and needed a c section- I was fortunate to have had a good c section with caring doctors and a peaceful (though challenging for sure!) healing. I would not wish a c section on someone over a vaginal birth- but at the same time mine turned out to be fine and necessary for me and my child- I guess I just want to say that in my opionion, after having gone through it, I think however a woman chooses to give birth- be it UC, homebirth, natural, medicated or c section, that is her right. I know that c sections are pushed too much in the current day and many are done unecissarily and that is a shame. But at the same time, a woman who chooses one because she truly thinks it is best should not be ostracized in my opionion. My own c section was a failed homebirth turned c section, it is not something I would have chosen- but if it had been I still think it is as valid a way to give birth as any other. Just my 2 cents!!

[HappyHappyMommy]

Originally Posted by Snapdragon 

I just want to add- There seems to be a big gap in discussion between people who "choose" versus "have to" have c sections- I hear this a lot on MDC- people saying that someone who has one for x,y, z reason is justified, but someone who has one for other reaosns is not. I personaly think each woman has the right to give birth in the way she feels safest- even if that means choosing a c section. I know that is a contraversial topic- and is totaslly slanted by my own experience- I was 100% about natural homebirth until I actually gave birth and needed a c section- I was fortunate to have had a good c section with caring doctors and a peaceful (though challenging for sure!) healing. I would not wish a c section on someone over a vaginal birth- but at the same time mine turned out to be fine and necessary for me and my child- I guess I just want to say that in my opionion, after having gone through it, I think however a woman chooses to give birth- be it UC, homebirth, natural, medicated or c section, that is her right. I know that c sections are pushed too much in the current day and many are done unecissarily and that is a shame. But at the same time, a woman who chooses one because she truly thinks it is best should not be ostracized in my opionion. My own c section was a failed homebirth turned c section, it is not something I would have chosen- but if it had been I still think it is as valid a way to give birth as any other. Just my 2 cents!!

To address the good point raised above...

The UC Forum has the following introduction in its guidelines:

"The Unassisted Childbirth (UC) board is a forum of support, respectful requests for information and sharing of ideas and experiences. While we will not restrict discussions only to those who birth without professional attendants, we will actively discourage individuals from posting with no sincere interest in exploring UC. Proselytizing against UC will not be permitted. Controversial subjects of discussion related to UC can be found elsewhere on the internet, and we invite you to seek out other venues for that purpose."

Perhaps the C-Section Forum could have a similar introduction (text that differs from the UC intro is in blue):

The C-Section board is a forum of support, respectful requests for information and sharing of ideas and experiences. While we will not restrict discussions only to those who may have in the future or have had in the past C-Section births, we will actively discourage individuals from posting with no sincere interest in exploring C-Section birth. Proselytizing against C-Sections will not be permitted. Controversial subjects of discussion related to C-Sections can be found elsewhere on the internet, and we invite you to seek out other venues for that purpose.

(PS As someone who is not personally very familiar with C-Sections, I'd not sure if the proposed language and terms I am using are inclusive and sensitive, but please know that my intentions were to be!)

[amma_mama]

Originally Posted by irishmamacat 

Surely pretending that the  birth experiences of 20% of women are invalid is not a helpful jumping off point.

Natural birth is an ideal, and like all ideals, for some it is unobtainable.

I have no intention of VBAC- in my case it is simply too unsafe, and the c-section I had was actually fine- BECAUSE I had prepared for it, come to terms with it and knew what to expect.

I'm being the best mother I can be-  if that means risking my own life or the life of my baby by  choosing an unsafe method of delivery, just because it is"natural" - count me out.

If I can read or talk about every other aspect of my parenting here, but have to pretend to be sad, or traumatised, or unhappy about one of the most joyous experiences of my life just to fit in with the Mothering Groupthink- count me out.

I don't plan to VBAC, I have no Birth Trauma to Heal- where should I go?

Make somewhere where we can talk honestly, share experiences and support each other- nobody has to read it if they don't want to.

 

My whole pregnancy and birth experience was not what I had hoped for or planned. I ended up with severe pre-term labor and was on strict bed rest for a good chunk of my pregnancy, then ended up with an emergency c-section, which the docs were actually trying to AVOID due to my condition. But it was what it was. Despite all of it, I consider both my pregnancy and the birth of my DD one of the most beautiful experiences of my life.

I have pretty much avoided the Birth forums at MDC, as I did not have the "right" kind of birth experience. I did not want to "mourn" the loss of my perfect birth, nor feel traumatized. It is like MDC wants people like me to end up with PPD because I did not have a fantabulous homebirth or UC experience. That I was wronged on some level. How can/why should the safe birth of my daughter be regretful?  Instead, I was, and still am, thankful that I had a safe option for delivering my DD into this world.  If I had to turn back time, I would never have CHOSEN a c-section, but that is what it had to be to bring my precious DD into the world. I chose her life, and put my own at risk, over the ideal birth experience.

It would be nice to have a place on MDC to share my experience, without pity or judgment. 

[amydidit]

I just want to add my voice here. I have never had a c-section, nor do I expect to since I don't plan to have any more children, but I strongly agree that a c-section forum is greatly needed here. 

[yarngoddess]

I really think that having a C-Section sub-forum would be very beneficial to MDC's community. MDC is a place where we can share and learn from each other. We also come here to heal, and if a mama's had a C-Section she needs to talk about her experience, and MDC has the most compassionate and understanding and knowladgeable Parents I've ever encountered.  I think that a

C-Section area would be huge and very beneficial to a big portion of MDC mom's (and to be mom's).  

[cameragirl]

I would also like to see a c-section forum of some sort. No matter how much we plan for a perfect birth, c-sections are necessary for some. There are plenty of situations that are completely out of control of the mother that would necessitate a c-section. I am planning a VBAC this time around, but I would have loved to have a good resource like this site last time around.

[kitchensqueen]

I just wanted to chime in with my support for the creation of this forum. I was very fortunate to have a vaginal birth, but I came quite close to an emergency c-section. We lost my son's heart rate and spent 45 minutes in the OR. Thankfully he recovered and I was able to avoid surgery, but if we had to do it in order to save my son's life, you can bet I would've been 100% on board. And I would've appreciated having a safe, welcoming place to talk about it, without feeling like I needed to grieve the process and do anything other than celebrate the life of my child. I also think it's important for all moms here to be able to openly share their experiences and have a place to find reliable information. Just because a mom has a c-section doesn't mean her parenting philosophy or mothering style will differ from her pre-surgery intentions and beliefs.