I'll try to be brief.
I am American and my husband is Mexican. I never thought we would have cultural issues, but they came to the forefront after our son was born. My husband works very hard during the week. Sometimes he's gone 6:30 a.m. - 6:30 p.m., sometime he comes home at 4:30. He's a landscaping foreman and I know how difficult his job is because I did it for two years.
I do all the house work. All of it. We don't have a dishwasher, so I wash everything by hand. I can count four times that he's washed dishes since the birth of our 15 month old son. We cloth diaper, he's never washed a load. I cook everything from scratch and then am left with a mess to clean up. We also homestead, which means we raise chickens for eggs and meat, this is my deal, so I do all of that. He does cut the grass and after I stopped washing his clothes, he washes his own. I work every Saturday, other than that I stay at home. I understand he's tired, so I am I. His only responsibility is to get our boy to bed at 7:30, something that rarely happens. Tonight he went to bed at 9:00, after I mentioned it at 8:30 because I had a screaming baby crying at me while I took the laundry out of the dryer while his dad watched TV.
It's impossible for me to get anything done in the evenings ( like wash the dishes or in this case color my hair ) because my child wants to be with me and his dad's too busy watching television, so I often am stuck doing dishes at 10:00-10:30 at night while everyone else is asleep. I'm resentful and have stopped having sex with him. I feel like it's just one more thing he's taking from me. When I try to talk to him about getting our son to bed earlier it's like talking to wall. I mentioned when our son was about 4 months old that I needed some help and he said "But I work all day". I told him I would be thrilled if he could cook one meal during the week and wash the dishes once during the week and we could split duties on the weekend. IT'S NEVER HAPPENED. I feel very disrespected.
He is a good father. He loves our son and will watch anytime I need to run an errand. But, if it's in the evening after work, I'll oftentimes find myself cooking over a hot stove with grease spattering and our toddler wrapped around my leg crying and I'm trying to remind my husband for the millionth time that he should be in the kitchen with me.
He's asleep now with our son. The kitchen is a wreck, I need to color my hair, his lunch for work needs to be packed and to top it off he says as I'm closing the bedroom door " Put my clothes in the dryer ".
I feel like a fucking maid. I'll be damned if I'm going to be a prostitute too. I'm tired of it. I love him, but he's changed so much.