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waving the white flag

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 

This day sucks. This week sucks, heck this year has sucked. Baby screamed for most of the day. He screams every second in the car for a good 15 minutes after we get anywhere. Screams at night, screams when I put him down. I am caught between either missing my older kid's events or torturing the baby. DS1 just this month started this great new speech group twice a week, I've been once. I had to email the therapist yesterday just to see how he was doing. greensad.gif It is 40 minutes one way, DS2 would cry the entire time. DD2 is really acting out. She just wants me to sit and color with her or something similar, I only ever sit down when I'm nursing or he finally crashes out on top of me and then half the time I'm afraid to move because then the screaming starts again. I went to help out at picture day in her classroom this morning, I had never even meet most of the kids before because I am never there. I spent hours and hours and hours in her room last year with a active toddler in tow! I almost started bawling tonight on the way home because I realized I didn't call DD1's therapist before she left town yesterday and I have no idea what to do with DD1 (anxiety/school issue) until I can consult her. I can't believe I missed my chance, that never would of happened before this baby. I'm barely making my work commitments, I'm mandated to have a certain response time and that is not happening. 

 

 

Dh is gone this week. He isn't that much help when he is around. He works all the time. Our relationship has been quite strained this year, that is a whole other novel. He puts DS1 to bed, takes DD1 to school on Friday, and picks her up from gymnastics one night a week. Either I do everything else or my sitter does right now. Thank goodness I have her. That is the ONLY way the kids are getting to school, therapies, and sports. There is no freaking way I could keep our with our regular schedule with this screaming thing. My house is by no means clean. I have been able to throw some dinner in the crockpot most nights but every single kid of mine is going through a picky phase and usually refuse to eat what I make. I do not have time to fix anything else so they are just eating crappy food they find. I even went and got a pizza tonight, yet again I was the only one that ate it. I know this is a phase, it just need it to pass by soon, I'm drowning here. He is 3 months old tomorrow, it has to get better soon, right? 

post #2 of 16
hug2.gif I don't know how you manage with such a big family and so little support from DH. I'm so sorry! Things WILL get better as your LO grows. hug.gif
post #3 of 16

oh, peony- I am feeling for you.  i also feel this week has been from HELL- and im just managing two kids.  My DD is 4 1/2 and becoming increasingly upset at how much time/attention LO takes from me.  We spend all afternoon after i get her from school listening to her fall apart that I cant "hold her, hug her, snuggle her" while i nurse- and the fitting in time for her with nightmare car rides is a daily nightmare - BUT I hate being stuck at home and try to go somewhere after school........My marriage is always up and down and it's a struggle adjusting to 2.  I will send my thoughts your way that 'this too shall pass"- here with a listening ear should you ever need.......

post #4 of 16

Peony, i have no words of wisdom additional to what others said. I think you are one awesome, dedicated mama and i know when your kids look back to these days as adults, they will be deeply in awe of you - i know i am in how you manage all the kids and their needs! BIG hugs to you mama, remember to take a deep breath whenever you can.

post #5 of 16

Gah, that sounds like a lot to deal with.  You sound like a really good mom, I am sure the good karma from everything you do for your kids will come back to you, hopefully soon!

post #6 of 16
Velcro babies are exhausting. Nevermind having other kids. I think it does get better when they get a bit older. I think you've mentioned that one of your other kiddos was also a high needs baby... With my DS, things were noticeably better by 9 months.

Don't feel guilty, you're doing okay. This will pass. Feel better mama, so sorry. If anyone in the DDC deserves to wave the white flag, it's you greensad.gif
post #7 of 16
Thread Starter 

I'm sorry to hear about others who aren't having the easiest time either. Today was a little better, we shall see about tonight. DD2 is upstairs crying because she wants me to do something with her, I just got the screaming baby asleep, so I gave her the choices of reading a book together or coloring on the couch. Nope. I'm frustrated at my mom as well. She just stopped by and I was desperately hoping for some help. All my family lives nearby, my sister never sees us anymore since she married a controlling man, my mom has no such excuse. She doesn't work, live 20 minutes away, is young enough to be an active grandma and only wants to see the only grandkids she will ever have for 5 minutes here and there.  Some days I wish "the village" mentality still existed. 

post #8 of 16

You have it TOUGH, lady.  I felt badly after sharing my woes- i was trying to be empathic but my life is cake in comparison.  I only have 2- which feels like more than i can handle at times- plus i have 2 amazing parents who help out and believe in the Village mentality- they have said since DD was born- "we're a team".  I tell them often i feel guilty that they are so great- and i truly wish I could share their help with other mommies in need.  This mommy thing is by far the hardest job on earth.  I hope you find some support somewhere......

post #9 of 16
oh mama, that sounds so much like my third! And yes, it feels like you're trying to keep from drowning but keep sinking instead. It's an awful feeling. PLEASE make sure you are taking five minutes to yourself every now and then. Even if it's in the bathroom lol! You need to find some space to regroup. And yes, you should be at the peak now. smile.gif Think of it that way...it's all downhill from here! So many hugs, I remember how terrible it was. Have you tried probiotics for baby? They helped my colicky girly tons.
post #10 of 16

Peony, hug2.gif. Things will get better eventually both with the baby and your other kids. I am very sorry that your family is not more supportive of you, especially considering how much you're trying to keep things together by yourself. I hope you get some rest very soon.

post #11 of 16
Thread Starter 

I'm just going to continue whining because if I don't I seriously think I am going to break down in hysterics. DH was going to get to come home early today, the new flight was going in at 2:30, was going to pick up DD1 at school for me. Novel of a story is that after many set backs of the airline, he didn't make it in then. Neighbor said she could pick up DD1 for me instead of making the 20 minute drive each way with screaming baby. She calls at 2:59pm (school gets out at 3) to say her DD just got a positive strep test, the rapid test was -, 3 day just came back +, did I still want her to pick up DD1? Not any choice now ! Doesn't matter anyway, her DD and my DD1 are best friends at school. DH missed the next flight to our town due to more screw ups of the airline. Was sitting on the 5:30pm flight and they actually got him off the plane. After it had left, they explained that there had been 8 people that had been trying to get home all day from Houston and they got first priority. Um, yeah DH was one of those 8. He has been at the airport since 6am. They jerked him off the plane to let one of the other guys go that had been sitting with DH all day not realizing that DH was one of them as well. No word yet if he actually got on the very last 9pm flight of the day. 

 

 

Now all the kids are saying their throat is sore, not severe but DD2 says it has been sore all week and she has been a pill. Now that I think about it so has mine, but I've just ignored it. Course it is now a weekend, I can't get into my doc until next week. Their pedi office only has a handful of Sat am appointments, it is almost impossible to get one. Otherwise it is out of pocket at urgent care. Last time I has strep two years ago, my throat wasn't that sore so I ignored it as usual and ended up getting really, really sick. The sickest I've ever been in my entire life. I was even hallucinating, it took me a month to recover. DD1 sliced her finger with a knife trying to get herself a snack while I attempted to put DS1 to bed. DS1 still is awake because he is refusing to go to bed. I don't even know which bedroom to put him in because if DH really is coming home tonight then I want DS1 in that room. if he sleeps with me then I have to wake up at 4:30am and leave the room because baby starts stirring and making a ton of noise from that time on and it wakes up DS1. I've been doing that all week and I just want to sleep in until 6am even. DH is gone next week for 3 days, the week after for 4 days, and then it is Thanksgiving week and he will be gone Thusday night-Sun and every Sat-Sun after that for the rest of the winter. This is going to be fun. And, yep. I think it is strep, I'm feeling worse by the minute. gloomy.gif

post #12 of 16
oh HONEY! I so wish I was closer to come and help! You need a break mama.
post #13 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peony View Post

I'm just going to continue whining because if I don't I seriously think I am going to break down in hysterics. DH was going to get to come home early today, the new flight was going in at 2:30, was going to pick up DD1 at school for me. Novel of a story is that after many set backs of the airline, he didn't make it in then. Neighbor said she could pick up DD1 for me instead of making the 20 minute drive each way with screaming baby. She calls at 2:59pm (school gets out at 3) to say her DD just got a positive strep test, the rapid test was -, 3 day just came back +, did I still want her to pick up DD1? Not any choice now ! Doesn't matter anyway, her DD and my DD1 are best friends at school. DH missed the next flight to our town due to more screw ups of the airline. Was sitting on the 5:30pm flight and they actually got him off the plane. After it had left, they explained that there had been 8 people that had been trying to get home all day from Houston and they got first priority. Um, yeah DH was one of those 8. He has been at the airport since 6am. They jerked him off the plane to let one of the other guys go that had been sitting with DH all day not realizing that DH was one of them as well. No word yet if he actually got on the very last 9pm flight of the day. 

 

 

Now all the kids are saying their throat is sore, not severe but DD2 says it has been sore all week and she has been a pill. Now that I think about it so has mine, but I've just ignored it. Course it is now a weekend, I can't get into my doc until next week. Their pedi office only has a handful of Sat am appointments, it is almost impossible to get one. Otherwise it is out of pocket at urgent care. Last time I has strep two years ago, my throat wasn't that sore so I ignored it as usual and ended up getting really, really sick. The sickest I've ever been in my entire life. I was even hallucinating, it took me a month to recover. DD1 sliced her finger with a knife trying to get herself a snack while I attempted to put DS1 to bed. DS1 still is awake because he is refusing to go to bed. I don't even know which bedroom to put him in because if DH really is coming home tonight then I want DS1 in that room. if he sleeps with me then I have to wake up at 4:30am and leave the room because baby starts stirring and making a ton of noise from that time on and it wakes up DS1. I've been doing that all week and I just want to sleep in until 6am even. DH is gone next week for 3 days, the week after for 4 days, and then it is Thanksgiving week and he will be gone Thusday night-Sun and every Sat-Sun after that for the rest of the winter. This is going to be fun. And, yep. I think it is strep, I'm feeling worse by the minute. gloomy.gif



OMG Peony- whine away - YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Seriously, how are you coping and getting through each day?  Do you have anything that emotionally or physically gets you through this tough time?  I woke up in the mood from hell today and felt there was NOTHING to look forward to with having a cranky fussy baby to tend to - who care if it's Saturday - what's the difference anymore, etc.......I realized the one thing i look forward to is eating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It's amazing I dont weigh 2,000 pounds :)  In my brain I think "oh goody- pretty soon it's time to try to eat another meal or snack- yippee!!!"   Then I pray LO will hold it together long enough for that to happen........Pathetic.  But it gets me by- what's your "thing"?  

post #14 of 16

Peony, i am never going to complain again.  You deserve a SERIOUS vacation.  

post #15 of 16
Thread Starter 

headscratch.gif I'm not really sure I have a thing anymore. I used to knit a little back when it was only DD1, and I worked out a lot then. Still ran some with DD2 and DS1 but it was more like when every kid was asleep and the house was clean then I'd go. Yep, I like food, love to really cook and bake but I seem limited to what I can throw in the crockpot these years. I rarely read anymore. I guess my thing is just my kids until they get older. I only get on here when I'm nursing, I consider that my down time.

 

I go in tomorrow to get tested for strep, I couldn't get in before now with it being a weekend. 

post #16 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post

Peony, i am never going to complain again.  You deserve a SERIOUS vacation.  



seriously- every time i feel overwhelmed i read about your days and feel like I need to suck it up!!!!!

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