This day sucks. This week sucks, heck this year has sucked. Baby screamed for most of the day. He screams every second in the car for a good 15 minutes after we get anywhere. Screams at night, screams when I put him down. I am caught between either missing my older kid's events or torturing the baby. DS1 just this month started this great new speech group twice a week, I've been once. I had to email the therapist yesterday just to see how he was doing. It is 40 minutes one way, DS2 would cry the entire time. DD2 is really acting out. She just wants me to sit and color with her or something similar, I only ever sit down when I'm nursing or he finally crashes out on top of me and then half the time I'm afraid to move because then the screaming starts again. I went to help out at picture day in her classroom this morning, I had never even meet most of the kids before because I am never there. I spent hours and hours and hours in her room last year with a active toddler in tow! I almost started bawling tonight on the way home because I realized I didn't call DD1's therapist before she left town yesterday and I have no idea what to do with DD1 (anxiety/school issue) until I can consult her. I can't believe I missed my chance, that never would of happened before this baby. I'm barely making my work commitments, I'm mandated to have a certain response time and that is not happening.
Dh is gone this week. He isn't that much help when he is around. He works all the time. Our relationship has been quite strained this year, that is a whole other novel. He puts DS1 to bed, takes DD1 to school on Friday, and picks her up from gymnastics one night a week. Either I do everything else or my sitter does right now. Thank goodness I have her. That is the ONLY way the kids are getting to school, therapies, and sports. There is no freaking way I could keep our with our regular schedule with this screaming thing. My house is by no means clean. I have been able to throw some dinner in the crockpot most nights but every single kid of mine is going through a picky phase and usually refuse to eat what I make. I do not have time to fix anything else so they are just eating crappy food they find. I even went and got a pizza tonight, yet again I was the only one that ate it. I know this is a phase, it just need it to pass by soon, I'm drowning here. He is 3 months old tomorrow, it has to get better soon, right?