coping with relatives negativity and harrassment...

[doulawoman]

Any one else dealt with this? We have a far away relative (new wife of dh's dad, has met us once) who continues to email us alternatly, mostly about dead babies and homebirth/vbac and how we shouldn't do it. We told ehr very very firmly not to bring it up, it's not her business etc.Here in Canada most mw's are fine with doign a home vbac, and we've been through a bunch in our pregnancy because we've moved. I've also done a great deal of research...this woman used to be an ob nurse,however she only figured out by a passing note on our blog about home vbac that we would be doing that...she even says she consulted with NZ midwives and they were *shoicked*...

it's getting hard to ignore her and stay centered. Both my husband and i receive emails,we tell her off then don't respond now her email is blocked but I just know it's not the end. anyone else gone through this??

[Marnica]

While I have not experienced this - I do know how hard it is to deal with unsolicited advice and negativity from others (including family) about "alternative" choices. Im sorry you have to deal with this crap when you are trying to stay stress free.

Sounds like you have addressed the issue - told her to stop, blocked her email etc. Has your DH tried talking to his dad about it? Anyway if the emails keep coming, just delete them without reading like you would any other spam email. Do not take calls from her, any mail you get, throw in the garbage and let her know up front that she has rudely overstepped her bounds and has left you no choice but to take these extreme measures. Not quite sure what else you can do yk?

Hope she lays off soon!

[kim.mpls]

So sorry you have a buggeroo in your family!  

I don't, at least not yet.  I'm totally chicken to tell my MIL because I'm sure she's going to panic and fear the worst, and she takes care of our 3 year old once a week.  Maybe I'm not giving her enough credit, but I'm pretty sure it could be ugly quickly.  

I also work at a hospital that has high-risk L&D with NICU specialty, so I'm pretty careful about which staff I've told (oncology nurses supportive, OB nurses don't know).  Whenever they ask where I'm delivering, I deflect by saying we live right by [the other big similar hospital in town in our same system] and let them assume that means I'll be going there.  But we are planning an HBAC as well in February.  I love our midwives and am doing my best to be surrounded by people who are supportive.  And that means a pretty tight circle.  Haven't told my own mother or aunt who is a nurse.  

I totally support your decision to block email and no longer take time to defend your decision or put energy into this.  I hope she gets the message and leaves you alone!