Hello, I'm brand-new on this forum and came here because while researching my problem on the internet, I came across this very old thread:
I don't know if any of the people on that thread are still around here, or if they will see my post, but I'm hoping that someone here can help me. Here's my situation:
My daughter is 28 months old, I don't want to wean her, and she doesn't want to wean. I'm a strong advocate of child-led weaning and will tandem nurse if my daughter wants it.
I didn’t get my cycle back till my daughter turned 2; the month before her second birthday, I gently coaxed her to nurse a *little* bit less during the day, and hey presto, my period immediately returned. We started trying to get pregnant, and here’s what’s been happening:
In September, I had a very strong feeling that I’d conceived, and a few very mild pregnancy symptoms, but my period came just a few days late. I was still fairly sure that I’d had at least a chemical pregnancy, even though I never took a pregnancy test.
This month, my period was a week late, and I finally decided to take a test. It was one of the ones that tell you how much time has passed since conception (and yes, I know they’re not 100% accurate, but hear me out). I tested positive, but it said I was only 1-2 weeks past conception even though I’m 100% sure it must have been at least 3 weeks.
About an hour after taking the test, I started bleeding pretty heavily—bright red blood and heavier than a normal period, so I’m pretty sure it was an early miscarriage.
I’m beginning to suspect that my progesterone levels are just too low right now to sustain a pregnancy past the first few weeks, because of Ru’s nursing. Low hormone levels would also explain why the test said I was only 1-2 weeks past conception.
Right now, Ru is down to nursing 3 times during the day: morning, naptime, bedtime, but the huge problem is that she nurses constantly, CONSTANTLY at night. We’re working on cutting that down; my lovely husband put her in the wrap last night and walked her around every time she asked to nurse, and he plans to do this every night if necessary. I’m feeling terrible about it, somehow—even though I know that she’s still getting love and cuddles and that she’ll be fine and I can nurse her when she wakes up, I still feel terrible. I know that in traditional co-sleeping cultures toddlers wake up to night-nurse until the age of 3 or 4 and so I can’t help feeling that I’m denying my little girl something she needs. Even if she doesn’t need it physically because she eats lots, she must somehow need it psychologically or she wouldn’t be asking for it. (I’m thinking aloud here—I know I’m not necessarily being logical, and maybe I just need a stern-yet-kindly talking-to.)
On the other hand, I’m in my mid 30s and I also can’t wait forever to have a second baby. I don’t know whether I should be supplementing with hormones in some way; I live in France where I’m very, very unlikely to find a doctor who is supportive of bf-ing during pregnancy or of tandem nursing. I’m going to see a doctor on Friday anyway, but I’m pretty sure she’ll tell me to wean completely. I can't do that. Honestly, if I have to choose between weaning my daughter and never having another child, I don't know which I'll choose.
But I can't shake the feeling that my body just needs some extra progesterone. I fall pregnant very easily, no problems there, but just can't seem to sustain the pregnancy past 5 weeks + a few days. After reading the old thread I posted above, I'm even more convinced that my problem could be solved with progesterone supplementing. I know it would lower my milk supply, but so would normal pregnancy, and I don't think this will bother my daughter; she's so attached to comfort nursing that I think she would keep nursing until the baby arrived and my supply came back. I guess I'm looking for other mothers on here who used progesterone while breastfeeding: what did your doctors tell you? Did anyone have recurring early miscarriages and then manage to sustain a pregnancy using progesterone while breastfeeding?
Thanks in advance for reading -- I know this post is ridiculously long!