My DS will be 4 in January. He really only nurses at nap (which he doesn't always take) and nightetime, but at night he nurses a lot. Sometimes I feel like it's all night. Occassionally he nurses during the day if he's very bored or upset. All in all it's fine. The night bit is getting difficult because it takes a long time for me to get him down and I'm no longer able to sleep well while he nurses. Those are my struggles, but DH has been expressing for sometime his discontent about our nursing relationship and that DS still sleeps in our bed. I try to be aware and sympathetic of his frustration. The biggest issue for both of us is how long it takes to get him down at night. Sometimes it's over an hour, and sometimes I just fall asleep with him. Since it's really the only alone time DH and I get together, it is frustrating and I have begun to think it's really affecting our relationship. In respecting DH's feelings I've been telling him for sometime that if it's bothers him, he needs to start trying to get DS down sometimes at night. We started doing this ages ago and it went okay for sometime, then DH stopped for awhile for whatever reason and when he tried DS would freak out and just scream for me (although this was over a year ago). Thus far, DH has never started it up again. So last night I was trying to get DS down and it was not working. He would nurse, and talk, and nurse, and talk. Then DH burst through the door and said "this isn't working. I'm over it" and told DS that it was time he started sleeping on his own and going to sleep by himself and if that meant he didn't go to bed until later so he would just go to sleep, so be it. There were so many things that went through my head when he did that. The first is that DH and I have such different parenting philosophies (which has been obvious for a while) and nursing is the canary in the coalmine. Second is how to do "damage control" with DS. Just to clarify, I will not allow DH to force DS to sleep alone or without any assistance to fall asleep. I know it would completely devastate and crush DS not mention me. If anything I expect there will be a backlash where DS may cling to me even more. So, I guess I have two questions:
1. Any suggestions on how to help a child to go to sleep more quickly at night?
2. Any techniques for dealing with an unsupportive/frustrated partner when it comes to CLW?