IVF Graduates thread!! - Page 54

[renavoo]

Hope, oooh enjoy your spontaneous date night! It sounds fantastic! I'm so happy that this time around, your marriage didn't suffer any ill effects from the stress of infertility. It's such a trying time! And it's wonderful that your DH and DD are so close regardless of a genetic link. Personally, I think that a genetic link is such a small, infinitesimal part of a parent's bond with their child. Too many genetic parents are horrible to their babies and too many amazing adoptive parents adore their adopted children and treat them as their own. I still think that one day, DH and I may end up adopting a child...even though I don't want another one of our own. My thought process is that there are so many kids out there that need a good home. I'd love to help give that to even one of those. my MIL actually inspired me to do that...even as a single mother of 2 rowdy boys, she took in my DH's best friend (when they were 12 years old) because his mother left him. It's an amazing story and I recognize how blessed I am to have her as a MIL. (not to mention I'm blessed with an amazing mother who, even after my dad and she were divorced for 10 years, took him in when he developed cancer and helped me take care of him, just because he was my father and therefore, family, even though their divorce was pretty contentious) I only hope to one day become a role model to my children the way my mother and MIL are to me! Ok, sorry for the tangent. haha pregnancy makes me much more emotional!

by the way, the sore nipples were my first sign of pregnancy. Ouch! That went away during the middle of the second trimester for me and although they are a little more sensitive now, they aren't as sore as they once were. I sometimes worry that means that I'm not going to be able to produce as much milk. I know, there isn't a correlation, but I keep feeling that i should be experiencing some discharge by now!

RCR, yah to the kitty being ok, although oops to him pooping in the tub again. haha like you said, at least it isn't the bed! I think it's great that your near a vet school and can utilize that venue! I would do the same! 

Tear and Tenzi, thanks for sharing your stories!

[TenzinsMama]

Hope, I can really relate to some of the feelings you have had about seeing other women pregnant, with the IF lens coloring your world as it has/does.  I've had two miscarriages in between each of my pregnancies, and in conceiving DS we did IUI with Clomid (two rounds), and then with DD we were doing IVF (I was on the suppression drugs when I conceived-- what a miracle that was for us!).  Before that, it was a long time with charting cycles, etc. and nothing happening... I would give up after awhile, only to  begin trying again.  In recent years, it was really hard for me to hear about pregnant friends who had thought it was taking forever to have a baby, after they had been trying for 6 months or something like that.  I felt that for so much time before then, I had taken my fertility for granted and that even when I was given the Unexplained Infertility diagnosis with my first husband, I still didn't think it 'applied' to me too much because I just attributed the unexplained aspect to the stress I was experiencing from being in a relationship that wasn't exactly the healthiest (young love, stayed for 12 years in it).  In fact, I would sometimes tell myself that it was better that I didn't get pregnant after all in that case, because things were so up and down.  Then, when I met my DH a few years ago, I realized how the time was going by so fast, and I was wanting a baby more than anything-- more than furthering my education, my career, etc. My age was definitely weighing heavily on my mind, too...  Once pregnant, I felt better when the baby reached the point of viability-- before then, I was so fearful of having a miscarriage with them.  Hope, I can also relate to what you say about not feeling like you can easily voice your thoughts/ feelings about difficult times experienced during pregnancy and parenting... I felt some of that with DS, but especially this time around with DD, with the depression I was experiencing over the complications.  With her, I was so worried about the suppression drugs having an adverse effect (I had to go on estrogen and progesterone supplments), and then the placenta previa-- the risks of pre-term labor and bleeding, plus the concerns about the birth itself (though it went from complete to marginal in the last few weeks, they were really concerned about the maternal vessels that were right near the os... if they didn't time the c/s right, and I went into labor on my own, it could have been very detrimental to me and the baby).  It took so much out of me, and yet, I felt so bad that I couldn't be more positive about things-- after all, here I was pregnant and soon to have the baby-- so many 'shoulds' around it all.  And since most people didn't know my IF struggles, I would hear things from people who tried to make me feel better by telling me that I was "worrying too much" or "thinking too much"-- that I should "just relax".  I just felt so guilty that I couldn't just experience happiness-- and I even felt ashamed of myself for feeling disappointed and scared to have a c/s.  I think that with IF, I didn't have a sense of being carefree to begin with-- and then when things weren't going as I had hoped or thought they would, there is another layer of loss to contend with.  Being depressed when I should be nothing but grateful and happy-- it really added to making me feel worse.  And, speaking about loss, even though I didn't have an easy time in the third trimester, I really loved being pregnant-- and I really miss it.  I have seen a couple of pregnant women since having DD, and I can't believe I feel such longing to be pregnant again (and I'm even envious of them!).  I just don't feel 'done', and the pain of IF along with my age makes me wonder if I will have the chance to experience it again and add to our family, or if this is it.  It's so complicated... I really love my DD and I'm so happy to have her in my arms, but I want to be pregnant again... and if it wasn't for IF, I would have had my babies a lot sooner than this, and I would have more time than I do for another chance.  But then, I feel guilty for saying all of that, because someone could look at me and think, well at least you have your two. 

Agggh, not sure if this is making much sense... I'm on T3s for pain management from the c/s still... Still kind of fuzzy.  But really, a lot of what everyone else has written about IF echoes for me, too.  I just didn't have a clear enough mind to comment until now... ha ha.

Oh yeah, I hope your date night was fantastic!

[renavoo]

Argh, I think I may have PUPPP. My stomach is so freaking itchy no matter how much lotion I put on it and I'm seeing some of the papules. Sigh. Oh well, one more week! Otherwise, I'm enjoying time off with DH. Hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend!

[Keria]

Just checking in really quick I'm still in Canada with  limited internet access.  We will be going back home on the 13 the visit was fun but I'm ready to go home now.

Rena sorry about PUPP that sounds miserable hopefully you can get some relief.  I can't believe we are going to have Rena-babies soon.

Kewpie love the pics of your little ones how big are they now?

DHs cousin is a photographer and took some pics for us here are a couple of them

[Vegan Princess]

Keria: Great pics!

Rena: Oh no, that sounds awful!! I hope you get relief soon. You are SOOO close!!

Cindy

[rcr]

Keira - those are lovely pics!

Rena - any day now!!! I am so excited for you. What is PUPPP?
 

[renavoo]

Hi ladies!

Just a little more than one more week and then the babies will be here (if not sooner!) I'm very excited :o) Hope everyone had a great weekend!

Rcr, PUPPP stands for Pruritic Urticarial Papules and Plaques of Pregnancy. My stomach is insanely itchy and I'm getting these little rashes on the stomach. I'll check with the doctor this afternoon about it but I don't want any meds because my friend took something for it and it dried up her milk. Therefore, I'm more interested in just making sure that everything is ok. I keep trying to stop scratching but I'll admit that there are a lot of times that I fail! It just feels SO good to scratch!

Keria, the babies are SOOOOO CUTE!!! I love their smiles and I love the one with them looking at each other. haha so adorable!

Vegan and everyone else, how are you guys doing?

:oD

[BellyBean]

Rena, oh no :(  I am so sorry you have PUPP!  But luckily it is just one more week (or sooner!)  My OB went back, and has now documented in the computer that he will let me go 39 weeks...I am not a huge fan of this plan, cause I think 37/38 is just right :)

Keira, glad you were able to check in while still on vacation!  Love the new pictures of your little ones!  SO CUTE!!!

Hope, what a sweet DH!  Hope you guys had a wonderful date!  Keep us posted on your appt tomorrow!  yay it's almost here!

Vegan, how are you going?

Tenzi, I love hearing how well your DS is adjusting to your new addition.  It's by far the thing I have been stressed about most this entire pregnancy.  I hope we are as lucky!

Kewpie/Lyndi, hope all is well with you!

AFM, not much going on (like usual).  I think I have turned a corner on how my body is coping with the pregnancy.  I am constantly sore with body aches and completely exhausted.  DH has really been picking up everything at home from chores to DD, so I have been lucky enough to rest as much as my mind will let me...it's hard to sit around when my thoughts start wondering about things I should be doing.  Big goal in the next few days will be packing my hosipital bag.  I have had a couple laborish type experiences in the past week or so, thankfully after a couple hours everything settled back down.  It's starting to get real, these babies will actually be here soon.....yikes!

[deportivo4]

Thank you everyone for sharing your stories with me. I didn't want to come on and interrupt your thread! I can understand all of those feelings that were mentioned, because, I know that I would feel very similar. Going through IF for me, some of the reactions I have and how I deal with things are different because of course everyone is different. I would feel the exact same way, and know that I am going to have a hard time throughout any pregnancy I could hope to have. Not only from dealing with family members or anyone not understanding what I am worried about. Also, I know the sting of IF will be with me forever, it doesn't matter how many children I could have in the future if I do have children.

I never feel jealousy towards women who I know struggled with IF. It really isn't fare for any women to experience this, whether they end up with children or not.

Most women I know have the choice also of how many children they want to have as well. Even have one or two, if you wanted to have a large family and it is not possible that is not fare either. I am from a large family and assumed that I could have as many children as I wanted. It is always going to be a struggle for me, always. It helps me to hear from women that do end up having children, really there is no jealousy and never would be. There is always a deeper understanding of what I am going through from those women than from anyone else in my life.

I just went to a baby shower the other day. Even though I wanted to poke my eyes out and had to keep myself from crying for myself. I just found out through that experience that it really depends on some women's character. Some are brutally ignorant. Some women have a lot more character and understanding than others.

It is very different from my point of view to see someone struggle with IF and conceive doing IVF, rather than see someone who just assumes everyone can have babies whenever they chose and how many they choose. A lot of women do think that! It is true.

My sister in law announced at her baby shower yesterday that the doctor told her to just keep having babies, and she could have as many as she wanted.

To me I had never heard of anything so ridiculous in my life! Yes, not only did I feel a pang of jealousy, but I was so appalled that some women think that way.

I guess I will see how many kids she actually ends up with. I can't help but feel that if she only knew what it was like for me, she might be a little more apt. to try and be supportive of me. She might actually see how miserable it could be. That is what makes all the difference when seeing someone pregnant, is ignorance and apathy vrs. knowing and empathy!

Thank you ladies for being supportive of me. Wish all you the best!

[hope4light]

Rena - date night was AWESOME!  Until we stopped the boat to eat and the slight movement of the waves left me feeling quite ill.  I agree - genetics really mean nothing.  I'm lucky in that my DH truely feels that way as well.  your Mom's sound like really great people!!  Don't worry about discharge - I never had ANY during my entire pregnancy, and I ended up BFing for 19 months, continuing to feed pumped milk until just last week (22 1/2 months) as well as supplying one other baby with breastmilk from the time she was about 8 weeks until she was a year old, AND a second baby with milk on about 4 different occassions.  I donated THOUSANDS of ounces of frozen milk because my deep freeze would become overfull.  Oh yeah, and I'm small chested, so that made no difference either!!!  I did make sure I drank lots of water, ate oatmeal regularly and took fenugreek as well as I was always afraid I'd lose my supply.  I stopped the fenugreek (and worrying about it) maybe around 10 months or so.

Tenzin - It's so hard, isn't it?? 

rena - ohhhh noooo to PUPPP!!!

Belly - Thanks, we had a blast! Oh my gosh, I can't believe that they could be joining you soon!!!

deport - I hope we were able to help you out.  I think it's good for us all to talk about it too, to get it out in the open, you know?

AFM - Not much, just waiting anxiously for tomorrows appt.  I can't wait to hear the hb and be reminded that there really is a baby growing in there!  (although the symptoms have been getting worse, I still just want to be reassured, you know?)  But, I'm 10 weeks today!! 

[prayinghard]

Hello All!!!

So...I am making the big jump to be over here permanantly.  I realized, after reading all of the above posts, that I was being totally selfish staying on the other thread.  It was for my comfort only, and I was not thinking that I could be hurting the other lovely ladies.  I hope that I was sensitive, but from now on...I will be over here, other than to pop in and root them on.  "Survivor's guilt" really is a perfect term....

Renavoo:  I can not believe that you are almost there.  I still remember you sharing your story of POAS at like 430 in the morning and waking DH up to tell him the news by jumping on the bed!  Man...time flies.  I am just so excited for you.  Sorry about PUPPP, but it will all be over soon.  Hang in there.  Have you tried Aveeno oatmeal baths?  They may help!

Belly:  You are not that far behind Renavoo!  I remember your BFP story too...crying as you made DH look at the results of the HPT.  Remembering how far we have all come makes me smile.  I just hope all the ladies from the other side can share their BFP stories too.  I know what you mean about worring about your little one and how she will adapt to the babies.  I worry how DS will do.  We are so close, and I never want to lose that.  I love him so much, it it hard to believe that I can and will love another little baby just as much.  It scares me because I think I havet o take some love from him to give to the new baby...if that makes any sense.  But, my logical side knows that I will just love twice as much.  you will havet o let me know how you handle everything and how it goes.  i would love some pointers before my little one arrives.

Keria:  I love the pictures.  How sweet!  They are perfect.  Just curious...how long of a trip was it for you to Canada?

I have so much more to say, but I ran out of time....have to get back to work.  I will post again soon.  Take care all!

[Vegan Princess]

Hope4light:  Glad you had a nice date night! I need to schedule one soon!! Sorry the boat made you sick. I have to say - you are so awesome for donating so much milk!! As a mom who had to supplement with donor milk, I am SO appreciative to moms who take time out of their busy day with their own little one to pump when they totally don't have to! I pumped at least once/day until DD was close to weaned in order to have extra milk for the next day - and I hated that 1 time and it was for my own daughter. I just rejoined Milkshare this weekend so I can start looking for milk in the next month or two to have on hand before baby is born. Enjoy your appt tomorrow!

Belly: I'm glad you're getting lots of help. I know what you mean about not being able to sit still and not do things. LOL. I can't believe you're 35 weeks already! So crazy!

AFM: Nothing exciting to report over here. DD and I are headed down to San Diego on wednesday to visit my family. I grew up there and moved to the Bay Area about 8 yrs ago. I can't wait to see my family and good friends and to take DD to legoland and Seaworld. I think my energy is still ok enough to do plenty. :-)

Cindy

[Kewpie80]

monkey science - Thanks for sharing your story!  And you are so not a fraud.  IF is IF whether it;s a year or 20.  It sucks all the way around!  Glad to see you pop in! :)

[Kewpie80]

keria - LOVE the pics!  Your little monsters are sooooo precious!  I love how expressive their little faces are!

Renavoo - I am so freaking excited for you (and belly too)  I feel like I've been through everything with your pregnancies and I can't hardly wait to meet your babies!  Just a tidbit of advice that I wished that I had in the beginning (as always, take it or leave it)  Sleep whenever you get a moment.  Sleep sleep sleep.  You haven't known exhaustion until you are taking care of two newborns.  Seriously.  And remember it will get better month by month.  I feel quite good most days now.  And make a list on paper or a white board or something and when someone asks what they can do to help, just point to the board and ask them to pick something.  This way you get help and you don't have to "tell" them what to do.  Makes it so much easier to accept help that way.  and sleeeeep!!!

tenszen - Hope you are doing well with your new bundle!

praying - Don't feel badly.  There was never a time that I thought you were being insensitive.  You are very welcome here, of course!

hope - I've got my fingers crossed for a good appt tomorrow!

vegan - Have fun!!

AFM - My babies are mobile!  EEEP!  They're no where near crawling yet, but they roll... ALL... OVER!   And usually in different directions.  It's kind of hilarious if you picture it, but not so hilarious when you just run to the bedroom for socks (just down the hall 2 doors) and come back to find one baby 10 feet away and under a chair and the other rolling the opposite direction and getting caught up in books and cords.  I'm beginning to see what crawling will be like and I'm a bit frightened.  It'll be ok now, but we're moving to a house where every room is either a step up or down and there is a second story.  Packing is getting interesting cause the babies don't stay where I put them anymore.  I see a pack n play in our near future.  

solid foods are still going well.  I made some toasted brown rice for them this weekend and it's hands down Liam's favorite.  After every bite he pumps his arms up and down (think muppet flail) and kicks both feet really hard together with a grin on his face and saying, "gooooo gooooo"  over and over.  This little party happens after every bite.  He loves carrots too and when I mix the two, he's pretty much the happiest boy in the world. 

[rcr]

Belly/Rena - just popping in to stalk you!

Hope/Rena - I also had so much breastmilk I donated a ton of it to an adopted baby. We had to buy another deep freezer to store it all! I am not huge chested either.

Praying - don't feel selfish. I think we all understand why people are slow to move over here. I joined a DDC last time I got pregnant, and had to be one of those sad posters saying "i'm out" I see them on the new posts section at the bottom all the time, and I feel terrible for the women having to post it. I always say that next time I get pregnant I am not joing a DDC or telling anybody until the baby is crowning.

Kewpie - DS rolled too. He never crawled - he went straight from rolling to walking. It was so cute!

[Kewpie80]

renavoo - One other thing... you will probably feel really weird in your abdomen after giving birth.  Everything moves around with all the extra room and no muscle strength anymore.  I found a belly band helped a lot.  Unless you have a c-section, then I'm not sure it will help.  I was also not prepared for how much pain I was still going to be in.  Showering hurt a lot.  My back would be KILLING me by the end of a quick shower.  It took a couple weeks for that to go away.  You may feel fine and I hope you do, but just in case, be prepared for yourself to feel pretty awful.  I had been expecting to feel relief right after they were born.  I got it, but it took about 3 weeks before I felt good, but before then I was pretty frustrated cause I thought I'd go right back to normal.

Snuggling in bed with babies makes up for the aches and sloshing tummy though :) 

[renavoo]

kewpie, oh my gosh, you must take videos of them rolling over and eating (by the way, YAH to Liam loving healthy foods! Brown rice and carrots?! that's amazing!)! They sound adorable and I'd love to see them. :o) Thanks for the tips, by the way. It's good to know what to expect because honestly, I was expecting to feel much better after the babies were out (except for the inevitable pain down there, of course) and knowing that I probably will not is a good thing to be aware of. Like you said, it may be ok for me but I'd rather be prepared for the worst. haha off tangent but when my DH drinks too much water before lying down, we play a game called sloshy tummy, where I get to listen to the water sloshing around in his tummy. ;o) I just thought of this as you mentioned the sloshing tummy! As for sleep, YES! Definitely. I can fall asleep on a dime though. I'm more worried about DH who has to have things JUST RIGHT before falling asleep. i told him he has to get over that or else he's going to be exhausted beyond exhaustion.

Praying, I agree with the others. in no way did I think that you were being disrespectful. I thought you were extremely respectful and really supportive of the other girls. I'm happy you're here though, of course! So how are you doing? How is everything going? Let us know!

Vegan, have a safe trip to SD! I've only been there once and only for business but the weather is so spectacular and hey, you can't go wrong with sea world, right? Good for you! I hope you have a wonderful trip!

Hope, how did the appointment go? :o) Update please!

Belly, I'm so glad that DH is being so great and pitching in! Just think...a few more weeks and you'll be holding your babies! And DD will be able to play with her sisters. Did your doctor say why he's aiming for 39 weeks? I just get a little nervous because I was reading that 38 weeks really is optimal for twins due to placental breakdown. That's why we kept mentioning 38 weeks to our doctor. One of the doctors seems to be wavering about whether 38 weeks really is the best week while another firmly believes that the babies should come out sometime the 38th week. So we're going with the latter doctor. haha. i don't think 1 week will make a difference but one of the doctors put it best when he said that many times, they suggest 38 weeks to put the mother out of her misery too!

Deport, I've been following the drama with your SIL on the other thread and really, I'm just so surprised that someone could be so self absorbed. Your SIL really needs to learn to think about other people. I don't know if the baby shower you mentioned you went to was hers. i think initially you were not going to go to her baby shower and honestly, who could blame you?? I hope that you're feeling better after that awful encounter.

RCR, I go over to the other thread to stalk you too! I just can't wait for you to get your BFP. As you say, COME ON BABY! It's time!

I hope i'm like RCR and Hope and I have plenty of milk! haha I don't know where we would store it if we did though but I'm hopeful I have at least enough to get my babies to grow nice and big. :o) 

Anyway, big hugs to everyone. I'm off to do a conference call! 

[hope4light]

Vegan - I love hearing from people who used donor milk!  It was really strange, because as the donor I think I felt so emotional about it just like the family that I donated too.  I did work hard to pump, but I was doing it because I wanted to make sure that my baby had enough, and I was going to do it regardless.  I was happy to stop pumping at a year, don't get me wrong.  But the thought of having to throw away any of that liquid gold brought tears to my eyes.  From my perspective I wanted to give it to someone who felt it was  as important as I did to use breastmilk.  There's no problem at all with Formula, but to know that I could give another mama something that they felt strongly about, as did I, it made me a happy mama.  Enjoy your visit to San Diego!!

Rena/Kewpie - I agree with Kewpie.  I didn't listen to the get sleep and was MISERABLE until I started listening!!  It's easy to want to get stuff done, but don't give in to that urge LOL.  And yes, you'll feel really really strange after birth.  If you go vaginal, the lady bits will be tender for a bit too.  I've heard the first bowel movement sucks, but I'll be honest, mine really wasn't that bad so don't freak out too much, you'll know pretty quick if it's gonna be bad.  YIKES for mobility!  Ohhhh the insanity gets more insane ha ha.

AFM - First OB appt went fantastic!  Heard that beautiful heartbeat and the waterworks started.  We turned down all the genetic testing, it won't matter anyways.  Next appt is in 4 weeks.  Today made it feel a little more real, actually hearing the hb (we only saw it at the 6 week u/s).  She found it right away too!!  I had an amazing date night with DH on Friday, which was awesome.  M/S is still pretty mild, heartburn everyday, but now it's the headaches.  I think I mentioned them before, but now they are getting really bad.  I'm hoping a few more weeks at most and they'll be gone when I head into the second trimester.  I also gained about 3 pounds (after I gained the 9 or 12 or whatever it was and then lost it all - from the OHSS).  Oh yeah, and my second employee asked me today if I was pregnant.  I said NO, even though I will probably be telling them in 2 weeks.  UGH, why do people ask such inappropriate questions?!

[Vegan Princess]

Hope: Yay for a good appt!! I have been getting headaches too. For me they really started when the 2nd tri hit. They are much better but I have one today. Blech. As for the milk - I only got it from 2 dif mamas. But each seemed attached to their milk. One in particular (who we got milk from more than once) really wanted to meet my daughter and chat with me before handing it over. I actually really enjoyed that - it made it much less wierd taking milk from a stranger. 

Rena: I keep thinking about you throughout the day and wondering if you've gone into labor. :-)

Cindy

[deportivo4]

Renavoo-Thanks, yes it was her shower. Uhm, yes her shower was very over the top. I found it to be ridiculous, even women with children there found it a bit much! I don't think that anyone spent less than a hundred dollars each, even acquaintances. Most showed up with five large gifts each. There were thirty people. The only reason I got through it, was there were a few that were not as thrilled about the crowd either.

She is definitely spoiled and needs someone to talk about her pregnancy non stop; baby shower or no baby shower.

I over the years have had many pregnant women invite me to showers and I have seen them pregnant. It has never been like this for me, they have never expected everyone to gush over them in that way. If you ask her how she is, the answer everytime is, well I am pregnant. You try to have a conversation with anyone around her and it quickly goes back to she is pregnant!

Babies, I love babies. I already have two nephews and three nieces that I am really close with, my sisters never acted like that with even their firsts. Sure they got attention and well deserved, pregnancy is hard! Its amazing. But I have never experienced this where everything has to revolve around them even someone going through something difficult. There were some women that told her because she got so much from people, she doesn't have to do laundry; she can just through baby items in the garbage! Like come on. Other women took time to be thoughtful and she yelled this out. WHo does that?

Anyways, thanks for your thoughts.

Thanks for your support. You guys are great.

Everyone I love seeing the baby pictures and like hearing about the baby stuff and pregnancy stuff. It helps me to prepare for a pregnancy that I might have. Is it ok, with everyone that I pop in and stalk everyone! I don't anyone to feel uncomfortable. Even though I have my struggles and it has been four years. I still buy baby things. I love knowing new info, that I may not have been aware of. Honestly the only pregnant women that has effected me is SIL, and that is just because of the circumstances.

So, may I eves drop on you guys. Or is that wrong?