selective mutism?

[sarahr]

My dd was just diagnosed with selective mutism. I'm not sure the diagnosis fits and I don't want to pathologize her personality, but I certainly don't want anxiety to go untreated. I'm hoping some of you experienced mamas can give some guidance.

DD is 5. She started half day nursery school just before she turned 3. She loved going, never had problems separating, but didn't talk to anyone -- peer or teacher -- the entire year. I don't know if she was literally silent, but she certainly didn't have actual conversations. When I picked her up at the end of the morning, she was always sitting by herself.

The next year, she was at the same school. She quickly became close friends with two of the kids in her class and would talk to them, but not to anyone else. If we ran into one of her classmates outside of school, they would greet her and she would respond with a blank stare. She participated in circle time -- when she wanted to -- but again didn't have real conversations with anyone other than her two close friends.

Last summer, she went to a camp where she didn't know anyone. By the end of the summer, she still didn't talk to anyone and often spent the entire recess time by herself.

This year, she started full day school. She quickly made one friend, but doesn't talk to anyone else. Her teachers have complained that she won't even say hi to them in the morning. She participates in circle time -- again, when she wants to -- and communicates to the teachers when she needs something, but doesn't have spontaneous conversations with anyone other than her one friend.

She has gotten much, much better in the last 6 months or so at answering direct questions from strange adults, although it clearly makes her uncomfortable.

She says she loves school and is always eager to go. She doesn't talk about her day much, but what she does share is almost always positive.

We went to a developmental pediatrician at the advice of her teachers, who diagnosed her with selective mutism. But everything I've read on-line talks about kids who are literally silent at school (or someplace else), which DD is not. I don't want to overtreat or pathologize shyness, but I do want to help her if she's anxious.

Sorry this is so long -- I'm worried about my little girl. I had a hard time socially growing up, and I want to protect her from the same, but don't want to impose my fears on her.