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Baby fever and other matters

post #1 of 9
Thread Starter 

Is anyone else suffering from baby fever?  I want a second one.  I'm 28 and for some reason I have it in my head that if I have another one it'll be before I turn 30.  I don't know....I think of how hard it hits my body and that after 30 the elasticity and ability to spring back will dramatically decrease, and I'll have less energy, etc.   I'm not saying this is how it goes for everyone, but I know personally that the 1 thing that has aged me the most (physically and energy-wise) was becoming a mom. 

 

Plus, I'm starting graduate school this coming Spring.  I want to be able to have a career and also be a good mom.  I know some women who juggled that successfully (one of them was my mom) but the whole thing scares me a bit.  The person I'm seeing and I have talked about children and we both want one.  This is coming out pretty disjointed but that's how my thought process is right now. 

 

Then there's the holiday blues......missing my family, we live all over the world but grew up really close.  I so wish I could give my little one that kind of experience but we have no family here whatsoever other than her dad/my ex. 

 

I had a lot of directions in which I could have taken my life at the end of this year......and now that I've been accepted into grad school and I've decided to do that, I'm kinda slowly saying farewell to the other ideas of where I could have taken my future. 

 

It doesn't help that my 2.5 yr old keeps asking me to put a baby in my belly.  :)  She is so sweet. 

 

The significant other and I are looking at getting some land to build a straw bale house and live off-grid (amazingly, you can do that less than 30 minutes from the city where we live).  Would that mean no baby?  I mean how can you build a house with a huge belly/a newborn -- I'm gonna be out of commission for a while if we decide to get pregnant. 

 

Lots of big things happening right now.  I am very happy with all of it, but just really introspective today -- maybe it's this super cold weather.

 

We are going to go spend the weekend with his family next weekend.  Everyone is so excited to meet my little girl.  <3

 

 

No real point to this thread other than to share with all of you.  I would love to read where you all are at?  What things or plans you are mulling over, etc.  What are you envisioning and where are you headed?

post #2 of 9

i hear ya, mama. I have four kids (three live with me full-time) and I still want another. Of course, I dont even have a signifigant other, and I will be 30 in 3 months. I am graduating nursing school soon and will be looking for a job. I will also be working on getting my Bachelor's in Nursing so I have more opportunity for employment, but that will take a few years. I never have a chance to get out without my little guys, so I dont know how I'd ever be able to date. :(

post #3 of 9

I thinks it's totally understandable.  And yes, as we get older things don't go back into place, we don't move as fast as we used to, the body groans and cracks and strains at things otherwise were easier when younger.  So definitly understandable to think about the age factor with everything.

If you and SI want one, go for it.  There are always going to be some factor that will stand in the way and make it not a good time.  If everyone waited for that perfect time we probably would barely have any kids int he world.  Live in the moment and the rest will fall into place, one way or another.

post #4 of 9
Thread Starter 

Aime, after having 4 kids, with 3 living full-time with you, baby fever can still take place?    I would feel so exhausted....my 1 wears me out.  It I imagine it must be the kind of thing where it's your "normal" and that's just how you operate.  It often happens that we foresee ourselves in impossible situations, just to find them become quotidian as weeks or months go by.    How old is your youngest?

 

Muprh, thanks for the kind words. I understand what you mean by perfect timing.  I see your youngest is 3 months younger than my little one.  Isn't that such a sweet age?  <3

 

 

post #5 of 9

Oh mama, I feel the baby fever big time.  Its incredibly fierce.  I am seeing someone new and its been a while since I've been with anyone and I surprisingly feel myself just wanting a newborn.  I mean its like I can feel my womb ache.  Haha.  I don't even know what to do about it, because sincerly, honestly a baby right now would be dear trouble.   Glad to hear others are in the same. 

post #6 of 9

This is the first time I'm admitting this outside of my very close small circle of friends... but recently I was hit with baby fever... it's not overwhelming like it was before I had DD, but it's a thought in the back of my mind that maybe I'm meant to have one more. The catch is, my tubes are tied, and I don't have a SO. lol  I've really been regretting getting the tubal recently. I'm 30... I feel like I have at least 5-6 years to work with comfortably, for me to have one more. I researched a tubal reversal, just so I know some options... I'm not worried about it. I figure something will work out if it's meant to. If I'm meant to have one more, I will, in some fashion, wether I get a reversal and that comes to be, or I adopt, or whatever... But yeah, I figured I'd be solidly done after 2.

 

Life is an amazing adventure...

post #7 of 9

I go back and forth on this a lot. We'd been planning for #3 when my marriage imploded 5 yrs ago and the loss of the possibility of another child was nearly as devastating as the loss of my marriage. I'm now in a new relationship and it's brought up the baby lust something fierce. DBF isn't super gung-ho about needing kids of his own but he would like them if he's in a very solid long-term relationship (he & his ex had planned for kids at some point but the marriage ended first) so it's possible we'll be at that solid place in a couple of years but it's super hard for me to wait that long. My kids are now 11 & 7 and I am 40. I'd planned to have #3 when I was about 37 and to be done. Now I'm looking at the possibility that I'll be starting all over again if it does happen. I have lots of friends who've had babies into their 40's so I'm not very concerned about that, it's more the starting over part on top of the fear that I'll end up raising another child on my own. I'm not quite as freaked out about it all since DBF & I talked about it this weekend but it's still all frustrating that none of this baby stuff worked out anything like what I wanted.

post #8 of 9
Thread Starter 

So glad to hear I'm not the only one.  It sounds like a lot of us either want or entertain the idea of another child, but have circumstances or fear involved with this kind of endeavor.  I go back and forth all the time....actually, I think I really want one but keep coming up with reasons why it wouldn't be the best idea due to circumstances right now.  I know I wouldn't want to "short change" my second one, and with my first, I was able to say home with her for 9 months, exclusively breastfed her, I did EC with her, etc.  I'm starting grad school in the Spring, so adding a pregnancy and newborn to that would be chaotic at best.  My BF is a teacher at an off-grid alternative charter school, so there's no way we could survive on one salary.  Having said all this, we both like to talk about becoming parents as we think we'd make a great pair and really like how we each relate to children.  I guess I will revisit this thread/thought in a couple of years as I'm nearing the end of grad school.  In the mean time, I'll just suppress the yearning...

post #9 of 9

I am 37.  Let me tell you, that clock is clicking pretty loudly.  I would love to have another one yet.  Not even so much for the sake of a baby but I want a husband and a child we share and a child I do not have to send away at all the best moments of life (I hate joint custody).   I want that perfect family I have always dreamed of.  not to mention I think my dds would be so awesoe with a little brother or sister.  i would love to expand the love we share.  There are so many reasons I want a baby.   that and I have always wanted a big full family.  I have a friend who is 40+ and expecting a baby and a few of my highschool friends just had babies.  So there is hope.  And I am in a great relationship but am too scared to think about it maybe leading to marriage (scared to get my hopes up, not scared about marriage).  

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