I'm not ever sure where to start here. I'm posting I guess to get some other opinions on whether I'm on the right track looking into Sensory processing issues, and possibly PDD or Aspergers, for my almost 3yr old.
I'm feeling very overwhelmed parenting him every day (I'm a full time stay at home mama to him and his 9mo old brother)
When he was a little baby, he wasn't a baby that just screamed, Most of the time we could keep him pretty happy, but it did take a lot of work. He was carried constantly by me, rarely by his Dad before 10mo or so. He slept on my chest or in my arms constantly, and still does much of the night. He always required a lot of work to get him to sleep, and keep him there. Very vigourous bouncing on the fit ball, patting, rocking, feeding, singing, reading etc, every sleep time. At 2yrs when I was very heavily pregnant with his brother, he still required this heavy bouncing to get to sleep, and would feed for 2-3hrs during his nap.
He never liked other people much. When he was little 3mo on (maybe)? He would scream and cry when people smiled at him. Often just when they looked at him. This include my family and friends. He still avoids eye contact with people unless they know him very well, although he is very happy and social with most of our close friends now, as long as they don't actively try to interact with him (let him approach them first)
Even yesterday when we were visiting my Dad, I had to hold him the whole time. When I passed to him his Dad because I needed to pick up his little brother, who was crying, he just screamed and cried until I took him back.
He doesn't adjust well at all to change. For example, every morning we have the same routine in order to avoid tantrums. He wakes up, and I get up with him quickly, picking him up (he always demands this), I take him to the toilet, always taking his pants down and up for him (he usually does this for himself during the day), then if I need to use the toilet he *must* sit on my lap. Then we go back to the bedroom to breastfeed. Once he's finished he *has* to hold the boob while he watches some shows. Then I have to carry him to the kitchen, so on and so forth.
Sometimes we have better day where he is ok to not be carried from room to room, but not usually.
He's very verbal. He talks constantly when we're at home. I find it so stressful :( I just can't seem to concentrate on anything because every few seconds he's saying "Mummy, look at this! It's got wheels!" Look, look! It's a spider!" Over and over and over and over. He also speaks quite well, saying things like "Mummy can you please put the water bottle down there" Pointing.
He still doesn't wave. Sometime after one year he would sometimes wave when people were gone, but never while they were leaving.
He likes to line up his toys (love cars and trains and trailers), and is always looking at the little peices on them (the wheels, lights etc).
He loves things that spin. Fans, the washing machine (front loader), the loading icon on the computer. And loves drawing circles.
He's also gone through many obessive stages with these things. He used to be so obessed with fans. Constantly looking at them, talking about them. He would notice them everywhere we went. He still talks about the fan when we go to bed at night. So far he's been obessed with fans, lights, washing machines, light switches/power points, and now spiders.
We went through a horrible stage where he wouldn't poo. He has been out of nappies since 18mo or so, but at around 28mo he stopped pooing. He went 10 days at one point. He would be screaming and crying in pain, and I would ask him if he needed to poo and he would scream "No! No Poo! Cold!!" Over and over. It was heartbraking. This went on for about 3mo. Now he goes to the toilet fine.
He usually takes 1-2 hours to warm up when we go out, until he's comfortable to play. But once he gets comfortable he's very happy and social. He's play, talk, run around with other children (although only those he sees regularly)
He will happily play and interact with adults if he seems them regularly and they let him approach them, rather than them trying to play with him.
He also does pretend play. He likes playing with playdough, always making trucks and trailers) And sometime he pretends to make tea.
Some days I think I'm crazy for thinking there's something going on with him because he's happy, social, compliant and great to be around, but there are so many days that I feel as though I never put him down and am constantly walking on eggshells. Where his tantrums never seem to end and he chases me out of the room screaming and trying to bite me. During one tantrums at around 2yrs, he was screaming and so out of control, he just started frantically climbing the bookshelf and fell off backwards, still screaming. He hits his head of the floors, with his hands etc.
Sigh. He's such a wonderful, sweet, beautiful little boy. I just don't know.
Does anyone have any thoughts? Am I overreacting? Am I just really no good at coping with normal 2-3yr old behaviour?
Edited by Eloisa - 11/28/11 at 2:30am