LOL You sound like me!! I've learned to tell the ones I don't mind offending to shove it, and everyone else I smile nicely and just say thanks. Here's my philosophy on the sleep thing, no 12 year old is going to come climb into your bed, or let you rock them, or nurse them or anything else, so enjoy it while you can because it goes fast! My 3 year old will sleep in his own bed, but he's scared to fall asleep on his own there, so my husband lays with him until he falls asleep, and sometimes he has to go back in during the night. The other day I asked him why he's still doing it when I told him ways he can wean DS off of that. He told me there was a bonding factor there that he's enjoying while he can.
So the way I see it, do what feels right to you, for as long as you can, because they grow up fast and before you know it you can't cradle them anymore, and you send them off to school and relinquish control to someone else, that's hard. If you raise a "mommy's boy or girl" in the process big deal, at least they'll come and talk to you when they're 16 and have they're first broken heart or have those tough questions that you don't want them asking their friends about.