Kyla-
I am also lost when he changes patterns. I play with him or have him play. If he's happy, yay! If not, sometimes sitting with him while he plays is good.
We had that issue recently at bedtime. He was fed, clean, tired, burped and happy. Just.. you know. Awake. Huh. So I went to sleep anyway, and he soon joined me. It was weird, though.
Babies changing patterns are weird. I was having some difficulty with Anton last week - he became quite moody and nothing would calm him - until I realized that he was bored with the sleep-eat-poop-repeat routine. Now I'm spending 10-15 minutes several times a day holding him on my knees so that he can see my face, and we talk, sing, play finger games, and make faces. He loves it and smiles a lot. We sometimes do tummy time, and often either I or DS1 will lie down right next to him and play. And Anton is now part of our nightly reading ritual, which he seems to enjoy, too. Since I started this, he's much more content lying around by himself which means more time to do things around the house.
In other news, Anton slept for 8 1/2 hours last night. I was so surprised when he woke up to nurse, and it was already 4.30. Now if I can get him on a better sleep schedule so that he wakes up maybe around 6, I could actually get some quality sleep too. But 4 1/2 hours is much better than anything I've had since he was born.
Part of my dream last night had me raising Charlie with anther lactating woman. That would be so awesome!!
Dusty's finally home. He got in at two last night - he'd left me Friday night for work. He did not sleep at all Sunday night, so he's probably going to sleep all day.. so.. ... yay. :P He's home and now I can't even go play in our room like I have been these last few days AND I have no help. I had him change a diaper this morning. He said no. I said, "Really? You've left me alone with him for days and you're going to say no?" and then he said he'd had no sleep - and as Charlie is nursing every hour, that one didn't work. And his not sleeping was a choice. And that not changing the diaper would be one as well, but I'd be furious. So he changed it.
Good choice.
He just needs to learn to lactate. Yes. This baby has barely let me put him down for more than a week and I've been pretty much alone for days. Constantly nursing which means my diaper stash meant to last two days is not and I'm doing laundry every day.
Anyone know what's going on with Green Carnation? There's people missing and I don't like it :)
I had something else, but I've lost it.
Babies changing patterns are weird. I was having some difficulty with Anton last week - he became quite moody and nothing would calm him - until I realized that he was bored with the sleep-eat-poop-repeat routine. Now I'm spending 10-15 minutes several times a day holding him on my knees so that he can see my face, and we talk, sing, play finger games, and make faces. He loves it and smiles a lot. We sometimes do tummy time, and often either I or DS1 will lie down right next to him and play. And Anton is now part of our nightly reading ritual, which he seems to enjoy, too. Since I started this, he's much more content lying around by himself which means more time to do things around the house.
In other news, Anton slept for 8 1/2 hours last night. I was so surprised when he woke up to nurse, and it was already 4.30. Now if I can get him on a better sleep schedule so that he wakes up maybe around 6, I could actually get some quality sleep too. But 4 1/2 hours is much better than anything I've had since he was born.
Isn't it so cool that our LOs are finally getting more interactive and playful? Last night DH and I were commenting on the fact that River can be entertained for almost 15 minutes at at time with his toys. That wouldn't have happened even a week ago!
Part of my dream last night had me raising Charlie with anther lactating woman. That would be so awesome!!
Dusty's finally home. He got in at two last night - he'd left me Friday night for work. He did not sleep at all Sunday night, so he's probably going to sleep all day.. so.. ... yay. :P He's home and now I can't even go play in our room like I have been these last few days AND I have no help. I had him change a diaper this morning. He said no. I said, "Really? You've left me alone with him for days and you're going to say no?" and then he said he'd had no sleep - and as Charlie is nursing every hour, that one didn't work. And his not sleeping was a choice. And that not changing the diaper would be one as well, but I'd be furious. So he changed it.
Good choice.
He just needs to learn to lactate. Yes. This baby has barely let me put him down for more than a week and I've been pretty much alone for days. Constantly nursing which means my diaper stash meant to last two days is not and I'm doing laundry every day.
Anyone know what's going on with Green Carnation? There's people missing and I don't like it :)
I had something else, but I've lost it.
OMG! I totally want to share River with another lactating mom! DH and I always joke that we need a wife that could help decorate the house, cook, clean, etc.... and now she could even help be the wet nurse. Not that I would stop bfing all together, but it would be nice to have an extra pair around!
AFM, I just got my new Mei Tie in the mail yesterday!!! I do love my ring sling, but I'm excited for something I can wear as a back carry. Last night River was a little cranky, so I just stuck with a front carry, but today after work I'm totally going to try the back carry!
Part of my dream last night had me raising Charlie with anther lactating woman.
...
He just needs to learn to lactate. Yes.
DH says he read somewhere that men could lactate as a last resort, for example when stranded with a baby in the middle of nowhere. Still, he refuses to let me put him in that situation because it would be "too weird." And believe it or not, he actually checks the fridge every time I leave the house to ensure that there's a bottle for the baby. But I can't tell you how tempted I've been to put him and the baby in the car, drive 60 min north of here and unload both in the wilderness of Western Maine...
DH says he read somewhere that men could lactate as a last resort, for example when stranded with a baby in the middle of nowhere. Still, he refuses to let me put him in that situation because it would be "too weird." And believe it or not, he actually checks the fridge every time I leave the house to ensure that there's a bottle for the baby. But I can't tell you how tempted I've been to put him and the baby in the car, drive 60 min north of here and unload both in the wilderness of Western Maine...
Now I'm cackling. Yes! :D
In my hippie commune, we'll sit around and share boobs. It must be a disease free hippie commune so no one fusses ;)
In some cultures men let babies suck on their nipples. They don't lactate, but sometime a baby wants to suck with no milk, so hey!
Cat - let us know how it goes! I think back carrying would be much nicer on MY back. Though I'd probably sprain my neck trying to see what he's doing :)
Nice!!
Yup, this is hard, and I only have two like you. I've been dealing with both kids for 3-4 days and nights per week for the last 3 weeks (and will be doing this for the next 2 1/2 years) and it is so much harder than part-time single-parenting 1 child. Meltdowns are inevitable at the beginning but they become less frequent, both in terms of raising one's voice and bursting into tears and tantrums. The key is to establish a routine for days/nights when you're alone and to stick to it; and yes, sometimes, one of the kids will need to wait to have his needs met and that can cause further tears. The baseline is not to be perfect but to make sure that the kids get fed, clothed, bathed, put to bed, etc. as well as possible and that is in fact enough.
Cat13: Nice mirror.
Carrie, you are amazing. I get exhausted being home alone all day with just one!
Well, I tried the back carry with my new mei tie. I think I'm going to have to do some serious arm stretches or yoga before I'm able to tie it on myself that way. And I should also wait until DS is a little less pukey. Let's just say that I am desperately in need of a shower and I have to do laundry again!
awww Cat, that's so cute! I've been living in the ergo and moby wraps lately...makes me want to pull out my mei tie...
Carrie, I'm sorry you had such a tough day. no advice, cause I'd have been no better off than you, but definite 
coming at you.
Carrie, you are amazing. I get exhausted being home alone all day with just one!
Well, I tried the back carry with my new mei tie. I think I'm going to have to do some serious arm stretches or yoga before I'm able to tie it on myself that way. And I should also wait until DS is a little less pukey. Let's just say that I am desperately in need of a shower and I have to do laundry again!
That is so cute! Thanks for posting the picture - made it so I could show Dusty a "real" person using it.
Seems very good!
I change a lot of "rules"...the kids usually ALL end up sleeping in sleeping bags on my floor so I don't have to run to them every 20min because they miss daddy in the night. And dinner is usually backwards...make BREAKFAST dinner and the kids' are all "omg this is cool" and I'm all "thank god for cheerios with chocolate syrup" hehe and.....wine. and.....coffee. and.....they get tossed (almost literally in a few instances) at daddy when he gets home. Then I go out for 20 min by myself.
When I finally got DD in bed, she was crying and I started crying, and then she was all, "I don't want you to cry! I don't want you to be upset!" so I calmly told her I didn't like seeing her cry either. She gave me a huge hug and patted my hair and said, "There, there, I'm always here."
Oh man. Tugging at the heartstrings!
Anyway, DH got home a little after 11. I had already had a glass of wine, some chocolate, too much peanut butter, and was calm. Finn did ok overnight last night, and now DH has already left for NYC again and won't be home til late again. Here we go! Round 2! Kids:1 Mama:0. Lets see how this match goes! I think I like the idea of breakfast for dinner. Last night she did eat all her lentil soup (which I only made b/c it's her favorite and I knew I wouldn't have a fight) and then we had ice cream while we snuggled and watched Cars together. It wasn't HORRIBLE, I mean, we did fine. I think by 9 though I was just really tired and overwhelmed.
When I finally got DD in bed, she was crying and I started crying, and then she was all, "I don't want you to cry! I don't want you to be upset!" so I calmly told her I didn't like seeing her cry either. She gave me a huge hug and patted my hair and said, "There, there, I'm always here."
Aww 
I'm working on a new writing project and last night I asked DH not to work too late, so I could go to Starbucks by myself after dinner and write. When I came home, Anton was happily sleeping, having drank a bottle of pumped milk. It was so nice, I hope we can make a habit of it. It's so much easier for me to write when I'm out of the house. I just brought my notebook and pen so I couldn't be distracted by the internet.
And speaking of internet distractions, I tried several times yesterday to access MDC and could not. Did anyone else have this issue? It's happened to me a few times in the past, too.
Feeling mean this week. Dusty left on Friday night around 11pm and came back Tuesday morning around 2a.
I did have people visit each day for a bit - Dusty's stepbrother on Saturday where I insisted on a two minute shower for myself, my friend and my mother on Sunday.. mom held him a bit, but I didn't get help with food or a shower and then mom for a bit Monday. Mom never even stays for an hour, it's usually just 20 minutes or so.
Charlie was pretty cheerful, but rarely let me put him down. If he did, I don't think it was ever for more than five minutes. At night, I'd get two or three hours straight to start and then he nursed about hourly or every two hours. The whole time.
Dusty drove 3 hours to where he was working. He got about 8 hours of non-work time - sleep, shower - Saturday night and then didn't sleep again until he was home Tuesday at 230a (he showered before sleeping.)
So he's exhausted. Last night he had work things to do and didn't get to bed until after 4a. But both nights he's been home he gets 7-8 hours sleep. I certainly don't. Each night, I've asked him only to do one diaper change around 9 or 10a so I can just get that one break from having to do all the night care. If he just did it, it would take, what? Two minutes? It's a diaper change.
He's too tired to play with the kid unless I insist or just hand him over. I haven't had alone time. Not a minute. Until today when I just announced I was taking a bath and left them.
I totally get that he is exhausted and wants to relax and recover. I get that he still has work to do.
I also know that no one else would ever do the things the way he's doing them and he REALLY doesn't have to get it done that quickly at the expense of his health and sanity. The guy he's replacing took a week to even get back to them - he certainly didn't have every little thing done same day. It is okay to sleep. It really is. They won't mind.
I also feel like I'm really not asking that much. I want some time to myself every day. I'd like a shower. Or just to sit without a baby. Or to have someone else take the screaming child away and rock them to sleep. I'd like him to do one care task at night. It's actually very rare that I ask, just when I know he's poopy. Just so I could get that last bit of sleep. If he'd change him quickly and not wait so long, Charlie wouldn't get fussy and he'd go right back to sleep. Damn it.
He said today that he feels like he's telling me I'm incompetent if he takes over when the baby is crying. This is when I've said I'm in tons of pain (I could barely walk earlier today and he knows this) and need a bath. We were both playing, I said I need a bath so I can maybe be functional. Baby starts crying. Why is that my job? Even if it's saying I'm incompetent if I'm the only dealing with him.. why was I the default to deal with it?
I'm not at all incompetent. And if he's tired, so am I. And I very much resent that he gets to say "no."
I never get to say no.
Sorry, Charlie, I see that you're hungry, but I'm tired and want to sleep. Sorry, Charlie, I'm not in the mood to hold you right now. Oh, I see that you're upset, but that's a little loud for me right now, so good luck with that!
It's not doing me a favor to parent your kid. It's not calling me incompetent to deal with one of the fits.
He's usually great about helping when asked, I've been very proud, but when I've had no break for that many days I need a little extra.
Thank you. I feel better now.
Hugs Becky. Listen--I am as much of an AP parent as the next...I wear, and wear, and wear my babies all day long. But something I've learned somewhere between my first and second baby is that you need to advocate for yourself. and if dusty is going through his whole work deal and being unhelpful, feel free to be pissed about it, but then scoot the bouncy seat or vibrating chair straight into the bathroom with you, put charlie in it, and take a shower. I only close the curtain half way so Millie can see me, and we play peek a boo and whatever. He may cry, but he'll be ok. he can see you, and you're talking to him, and that really is enough for the 10 or 15 minute you need to just relax. if it becomes routine, chances are he will begin to look forward to this time and stop screaming at you. do this for yourself--it will help I promise!
Sounds like some of you are having a tough time.
I'm still living in the middle of the chaos that is packing boxes. We moved (mostly) last weekend, but we still have some smaller stuff at the old place and I just can't get enough time to get the unpacking all done. I'm only online now because I'm waiting for my mum to come on Skype.
DS2 is crying & DS1 needs his breakfast so I'd better go.
Hope to catch up more later today.
Hugs Becky. Listen--I am as much of an AP parent as the next...I wear, and wear, and wear my babies all day long. But something I've learned somewhere between my first and second baby is that you need to advocate for yourself. and if dusty is going through his whole work deal and being unhelpful, feel free to be pissed about it, but then scoot the bouncy seat or vibrating chair straight into the bathroom with you, put charlie in it, and take a shower. I only close the curtain half way so Millie can see me, and we play peek a boo and whatever. He may cry, but he'll be ok. he can see you, and you're talking to him, and that really is enough for the 10 or 15 minute you need to just relax. if it becomes routine, chances are he will begin to look forward to this time and stop screaming at you. do this for yourself--it will help I promise!
I'm really thinking we should buy one of those things. We just stick him in the high chair thing when he wants to sit. It works but it's attached to a chair and that's a bit to bring into the bathroom.
Thank you :) We both went to sleep at the same time last night - 1ish. Charlie went to sleep somewhere around 8. I thought it was seven, but that was wrong. Hourly feedings started at 4. Up at 9. Dusty is sleeping still. He did the diaper change, no fuss this time. I'm just hoping Charlie wears himself out and lets me nap soon. He used to! Let's see! If I did that many leg lifts, I'd sure let MY mommy nap.. ;)
Follow Mothering