Poll question: Does your 4/5 year old:

[scsigrl]

Sit for meals?

What is your "rule" for that?

If no, what age did they start sitting for meals?

[JollyGG]

Yes my 5 year old sits for meals, and did at 4 as well. Once she is done she is allowed to clear her plate and leave so she doesn't sit for long, but she does sit. Just this evening she was told that she had to sit with us and the grandparents who were here even though she wasn't hungry and she did so just fine.

[tbone_kneegrabber]

I'd vote other if it was an option because I don't understand the questions.  Do you mean sit while eating?  Do you mean stay seated until *everyone* is finished? Do you mean not wiggle and talk and sometimes get up and do a dance in the kitchen?  Do you mean sitting without falling out of the chair?

(ds does sit down while eating meals, most of the time)

(he does NOT stay until everyone is finished and I wouldn't ask him or anyone else to)

(he does wiggle, talk, dance, sometimes go and get things and bring them back, sometimes ask to be read to, sometimes work on a project while eating)

(he usually falls out of his chair at least once per meal)

[Mylie]

She just turned 4 and does sit for HER meal...She won't sit for longer than a half hour though..She starts to get ansy..So when she is done with her meal I will excuse her from the table..

[Red Pajama]

My kids are squirmy, but can be expected to sit for the meal, both at home and out to eat.

[scsigrl]

I just mean sit, eat (not in silence or anything like that) and then get up and play. 

My kids (5 in Dec. and 3 in Jan.) play and eat after being asked repeatedly "Get a bite. Get a bite. Get a bite." because they are playing.  It is driving me crazy that meals take 4x longer than they should.  I know it's all about picking battles but between allergies (keeping safe foods at the table and washing up before playing with toys) and just wasted time and energy, it is making me crazy!

I was talking to DH and said the lego's need to be put up before dinner so DS will eat before playing (the are pretty much all he plays with).  He was wondering if that's expecting too much. I said I didn't think it was so that's why I came here to ask :)  

Thanks!

[reezley]

Originally Posted by tbone_kneegrabber 

I'd vote other if it was an option because I don't understand the questions.  Do you mean sit while eating?  Do you mean stay seated until *everyone* is finished? Do you mean not wiggle and talk and sometimes get up and do a dance in the kitchen?  Do you mean sitting without falling out of the chair?

(ds does sit down while eating meals, most of the time)

(he does NOT stay until everyone is finished and I wouldn't ask him or anyone else to)

(he does wiggle, talk, dance, sometimes go and get things and bring them back, sometimes ask to be read to, sometimes work on a project while eating)

(he usually falls out of his chair at least once per meal)

I voted "no" but this description is basically how it goes here (and made me laugh!).  My almost-7 year old gets up than the 4.5 year old.  I tell them both a few times during the meal (meaning, *their* meal) do sit down, not bring toys to the table, etc. 

 

[Neera]

She does but she doesn't eat by herself; she has to be fed. If left to eat independently she eats almost nothing.

[Alyantavid]

Yes.  My kids have to stay seated while they're eating and they do.  Once they are finished, they can get up, they don't have to wait for everyone else. 

[Just1More]

Wow.  It surprises me that kids don't sit at the table well.

All of mine do, even the 13 month old.  They all have really big appetites, and we don't really snack or drink calorie drinks either, so maybe that changes things. 

And, they don't get up and down, and squirm in their chairs or anything.  And they sometimes like to just stay at the table when they are done so they can hear the conversation.  My kids are 6,4,2, and the baby.

We don't have a "rule" about either, btw.  It's just what we've always done.  It's just a non issue around here.

[sunnygir1]

My dd (4.5) pretty much stays at the table until she's done eating.  Sometimes she clears her plate on her own, sometimes I remind her to.  If she leaves the table I ask her if she's finished eating, if not, she returns to the table; if so, she clears her place and goes on with her day.  It hasn't been much of an issue.

Ds is 2, and he actually stays at the table pretty well while he's eating.  Occasionally he wants to wander around with food, but that's usually because dd is done and he wants to play when he sees her playing.  He doesn't actually "sit" because he's decided he's done with the Kinderzeit and instead wants to be on a regular chair -- which means he often stands to comfortably reach his food.

I do see that it could become a bit of an issue with him at some point in the future because he is busy and stubborn, and I expect there to be another couple years before he is very easy to reason with.  I want them to eat at the table until they are done because I don't want food mess all over the house; it is working well for us so far; we are pretty relaxed about the whole thing.  (Eat what you want, leave what you don't, I'll help you clear your place and get you a washcloth for your hands and face, etc.)

[pianojazzgirl]

Originally Posted by tbone_kneegrabber 

I'd vote other if it was an option because I don't understand the questions.  Do you mean sit while eating?  Do you mean stay seated until *everyone* is finished? Do you mean not wiggle and talk and sometimes get up and do a dance in the kitchen?  Do you mean sitting without falling out of the chair?

(ds does sit down while eating meals, most of the time)

(he does NOT stay until everyone is finished and I wouldn't ask him or anyone else to)

(he does wiggle, talk, dance, sometimes go and get things and bring them back, sometimes ask to be read to, sometimes work on a project while eating)

(he usually falls out of his chair at least once per meal)

Same here!  (ds is newly-4)

[rainbow_mandala]

This post has been removed due to privacy reasons.

Edited by rainbow_mandala - 11/15/12 at 11:14pm

[ASusan]

DS just turned four. He has been sitting for meals for as long as I can remember. We don't allow him to do "nomadic eating" (where he takes food around the house) or drive-by eating, where he is not at the table, but comes back for bites. It's never really been an issue; it's the way we do things in our house.

He sits until he is finished, and then asks to be excused. If he has not eaten the amount that he typically eats (i.e., I think he might be hungry later), I very clearly tell him that if he is hungry later, that this (dinner still on his plate) is what he will eat. I will warm it back up for him, and it will be his "snack."  (If he eats a normal-for-him sized dinner and is hungry later, he does get a "snack" of yogurt, applesauce or something similar.)

If he can't sit and eat a full meal, it's usually because he has to go to the bathroom, or he is getting sick.

[ShadowMoon]

Originally Posted by tbone_kneegrabber 

I'd vote other if it was an option because I don't understand the questions.  Do you mean sit while eating?  Do you mean stay seated until *everyone* is finished? Do you mean not wiggle and talk and sometimes get up and do a dance in the kitchen?  Do you mean sitting without falling out of the chair?

(ds does sit down while eating meals, most of the time)

(he does NOT stay until everyone is finished and I wouldn't ask him or anyone else to)

(he does wiggle, talk, dance, sometimes go and get things and bring them back, sometimes ask to be read to, sometimes work on a project while eating)

(he usually falls out of his chair at least once per meal)

My almost 5 yr old DS does all of the same :)

[Storm Bride]

*sigh*

We've only just managed to get our 8 year old to sit through a whole meal. But, she's kind of...wingy. DS2 isn't too bad, but it's been a bit of work.

We don't make much effort with dd2, yet, but she has to keep her food at the table. I have no problem with a grazing approach at her age.

[Krystal323]

One of my crew is age 4.5, and she will sit so long as she's eating.  I don't have a "rule" about it, other than "please don't annoy the rest of us", heh.  She's free to go when she's done, provided she's at least tasted the food and takes care of her bowl (i.e. brings it to the sink/rinses it out).  

We are not huge on everybody having to sit at the table tho.  We tend to be grazers except for one big meal a day, which may or may not be together at the table. 

[LiLStar]

Depends what we're having. Is there onions? Does she know? How about bell peppers? How's her mood on the ornery vs cooperative scale at that particular moment? Does it *look* like there is the slightest chance that it *could* be spicy? (regardless of whether or not it actually is) If she approves of the food, she'll sit and eat. If not, she'll be a hellion. The 2yo will sit and eat just fine. He hasn't learned to be picky for the sake of being picky and will try about anything without any prodding. Neither have any issues with being too distracted/energetic to sit at the table. The problem is whether the food is deemed worthy.

[~cassie]

Nope.  None of my 3 children do it.  They are constantly up and down.  Drives me nuts.  For us- I wonder if our issue is we only have 3 chairs-so one for each child and dh and I eat on the couch(all in the same room right next to the table).  Honestly we have so much trouble just getting them to eat that I don't care if they sit anymore.  I just want them to eat enough.

[wanderinblues]

Originally Posted by sunnygir1 

My dd (4.5) pretty much stays at the table until she's done eating.  Sometimes she clears her plate on her own, sometimes I remind her to.  If she leaves the table I ask her if she's finished eating, if not, she returns to the table; if so, she clears her place and goes on with her day.  It hasn't been much of an issue.

basically this, except DSD just turned 4. eating at the table is totally mandatory. i can't imagine letting her take food anywhere else in the house, or even leave the table between bites: there would be bits of food everywhere! every time she gets a drink or snack, it's strait to the table or i will be wiping/picking it off the couch later, guaranteed.

if she claims to not like the dinner, or not be hungry, i say "that's fine, but you need to sit at the table with us because it's dinner time" and she invariably finds her appetite when she understands that she will not be allowed to do something more interesting. some days she will get up to go play with the dog or her toys without asking, and we remind her to excuse herself if she is done (often she is not and comes back to her chair). if she is done, she goes strait to the bathroom and washes the food off her face/hands, brushes her teeth, and goes to her room for pjs/story/bed time. someday it would be nice to have earlier dinners, but with us both working, they end up being around 7:30.