TMI: Who's still having sex? - Page 3 « Back to Group Discussions

[MrsKatie]

Originally Posted by jbk21 

Okay, this might be way too TMI, but is anyone else on the receiving end of the oral?  Because it kind of weirds me out a bit during pregnancy.  I mean... there's a belly there... and at this point there could be a big blob of mucus and.... I dunno it just freaks me out.  I wouldn't mind it, for sure, since sex is way more frustrating, but I just didn't know if anyone else felt this way.  I also think pregnant sex in general is kind of icky (I can't get past the baby moving around during sex.  SO WEIRD.)  So maybe I'm just a prude   (likely). 

I don't think it has to do with being a prude, it's all just about how comfortable you feel.  If you can't relax, then what's the point?  I am on the receiving end QUITE often.  Like, almost every time we get it on.  DH is just so damn good at it, I couldn't possibly give it up (and honestly I don't think he could either - he seems to enjoy it immensely, too).  But, like I said, it's all about your personal comfort level and ability to relax.

[KaliShanti]

Yes we still are having sex. I don't really want to, but I know it means a lot to him and it could help my cervix so.. maybe 3x/week I guess.

[Jaimee]

J, I don't think you're a prude, it just seems like you and I might be the only two vocal ones here that have lower libidos than our dh's!     Dh has been seemingly avoiding oral for me- I'm not sure if he thinks I would shy away or if he is intimidated by that whole swollen area.  I agree that it's different down there right now and I've heard that it tastes different, too, though I haven't asked him...

Anyway, Katie, about the EPO, I'm not sure.  Most everything I've read says to take it orally earlier on (like 36 weeks) and vaginally in the last few weeks, suggesting that the vaginal route is more effective.  But, keep in mind that EPO does not trigger labor, it ripens the cervix and aren't you pretty ripe already?  I'm not sure that EPO is going to do anything for you at this point.  Looking quickly to see if I can find any studies...

Oral evening primrose oil: Its effect on length of pregnancy and selected intrapartum outcomes in low-risk nulliparous women

Dove, D., Johnson, P.

Birth Center Holistic Women's Health Care, L. L. C., 1508 West 7st Street, Wilmington, DE 19805, United States

Abstract

Evening primrose oil is widely used by many midwives to hasten cervical ripening in an effort to shorten labor and decrease the incidence of postdates pregnancies. Although its efficacy has been studied in the relief of symptoms of a number of medical conditions, its use has not been well studied, if at all, for the purpose of cervical ripening. The purpose of this study was to investigate the effect of oral evening primrose oil on the length of pregnancy and selected intrapartum outcomes in low-risk nulliparous women. A two group retrospective quasiexperimental design conducted on a sample of women who received care in a birth center, compared selected outcomes of 54 women taking evening primrose oil in their pregnancy with a control group of 54 women who did not. Findings suggest that the oral administration of evening primrose oil from the 37th gestational week until birth does not shorten gestation or decrease the overall length of labor. Further, the use of orally administered evening primrose oil may be associated with an increase in the incidence of prolonged rupture of membranes, oxytocin augmentation, arrest of descent, and vacuum extraction. © 1999 by the American College of Nurse-Midwives.

I found two more studies that concluded that EPO was ineffective and might have possible side effects.  The same studies concluded the same things for the cohoshes: ineffective with possible side effects.  Several other studies concluded RRL was ineffective, but probably safe.  Castor oil was deemed ineffective and nausea-inducing.  Sex was found to be ineffective as well.  The one thing that actually had statistically significant results was breast stimulation!  But participants in the multiple studies that were reviewed were stimulating one or both breasts for one-three hours per day.  The number of women that had not gone into labor 72 hours later was greatly reduced.  Who has time for that, though?!

[birdhappy85]

Originally Posted by Jaimee I found two more studies that concluded that EPO was ineffective and might have possible side effects.  The same studies concluded the same things for the cohoshes: ineffective with possible side effects.  Several other studies concluded RRL was ineffective, but probably safe.  Castor oil was deemed ineffective and nausea-inducing.  Sex was found to be ineffective as well.  The one thing that actually had statistically significant results was breast stimulation!  But participants in the multiple studies that were reviewed were stimulating one or both breasts for one-three hours per day.  The number of women that had not gone into labor 72 hours later was greatly reduced.  Who has time for that, though?!

1-3 hours per day?! *faints* I want to meet the person that is capable of that one.

[Ablemec]

One to three hours?  Oh my goodness!  And ouch.  I guess all you mamas that are breastfeeding children can do that, but I can't imagine achieving that otherwise!

[birdhappy85]

Oh yeah, I didn't even consider the breastfeeding mamas out there. Good point. lol. I just couldn't imagine how else someone would go about stimulating their breasts for that long!

[Krystal323]

Gee, I kinda wish my nursling would step it up a notch then--LOL!  

ETA:  *waves*  Hey KaliShanti!  We were DDC buddies last time too! 

[TalkToMeNow]

J, I can't quote properly on my phone, but responding anyway. I cut out being on the receiving end of oral a while ago. I'm just not comfortable with it anymore for pretty much the same reason as you. Who knows what is going on down there?! Ha. Of course now I am realizing it will be many weeks after the baby is born before I am comfortable with it again. Sigh.

I do not like the baby moving during sex, either. I could do without sex right now. But I know it is important to dh and I try to be a team player! Plus, it can't hurt with getting labor going.

[LiLStar]

Ahh, I've formally banned "receiving end" during pregnancy. I noticed it was a really quick way to get a yeast infection. 

[Code Name Mama]

I'm with Katie - there is no way I'm banning oral, it's the only way I can O!

[FaithF]

LilStar - me too! I got the yeast infection that refused to go away after oral. So I'm def not into receiving. Too much weird discharge & such down there anyway.

I can go on my back for a little bit, with pillows propped up. And I can O pretty easily in that position. On top too, as long as my hips don't fracture.

Definitely not looking forward to post partum period. DH will probably die from lack of sex, his sex drive is usually much higher than mine. Tho I remember right after delivery with the last one, I was so ready to get it on! I found that very strange considering what my vag had just been through. Maybe it was leftover pregnancy hormones.

Someone else mentioned they weren't having any colostrum yet. Me too. I'm 38 weeks and can't even squeeze any out. Worries me a little but I know once I deliver, my body will work it out.

[jbk21]

Originally Posted by FaithF 

LilStar - me too! I got the yeast infection that refused to go away after oral. So I'm def not into receiving. Too much weird discharge & such down there anyway.
I can go on my back for a little bit, with pillows propped up. And I can O pretty easily in that position. On top too, as long as my hips don't fracture.
Definitely not looking forward to post partum period. DH will probably die from lack of sex, his sex drive is usually much higher than mine. Tho I remember right after delivery with the last one, I was so ready to get it on! I found that very strange considering what my vag had just been through. Maybe it was leftover pregnancy hormones.
Someone else mentioned they weren't having any colostrum yet. Me too. I'm 38 weeks and can't even squeeze any out. Worries me a little but I know once I deliver, my body will work it out.

Yes!  I was so ready to have sex like the day we got home from the hospital.   SO WEIRD!  I think it was hormones + such a strong desire for the man who gave me a baby :-)  Too bad the sex drive went KAPUT like a week later.  We didn't try to have sex until 6 weeks pp and even then it was PAINFUL (and I didn't tear!)  


Anyway, I'm up vomiting this evening.  Weeee!  DS was sick Sunday night and now it looks like I've got it.  I've been having crampy BH ctx pretty regularly all evening too.  Please tell me it's just from being sick and not pre-labor stuff.  Oye vey.  

[IwannaBanRN]

I haven't gotten him to "go down" for at least 2 months. He usually loves it, but he said 1) his tongue has been bothering him and 2) he doesn't like how much the discharge picks up during pregnancy. He doesn't even LIKE the word discharge. You say it around him and he squirms. lol

[Jaimee]

Ugh, J, I'm so sorry that you caught the stomach virus your ds had!  That's the worst!!  I hope it passes really quickly and doesn't send you into early labor since I know you'd like baby to stay put for a bit longer. 

[TalkToMeNow]

Originally Posted by jbk21 

Anyway, I'm up vomiting this evening.  Weeee!  DS was sick Sunday night and now it looks like I've got it.  I've been having crampy BH ctx pretty regularly all evening too.  Please tell me it's just from being sick and not pre-labor stuff.  Oye vey.  

Sorry, J! Hope you feel better soon. 

Originally Posted by IwannaBanRN 

I haven't gotten him to "go down" for at least 2 months. He usually loves it, but he said 1) his tongue has been bothering him and 2) he doesn't like how much the discharge picks up during pregnancy. He doesn't even LIKE the word discharge. You say it around him and he squirms. lol

Well, on a scale of 1 to Super Sexy, the word discharge is about a -20. So I can see why he doesn't like it. I don't like it! I mean, can you imagine right in the middle, "Honey, that's certainly a lot of discharge tonight!" Blech!!!! 

[Viriditas]

Originally Posted by jbk21 

  We didn't try to have sex until 6 weeks pp and even then it was PAINFUL (and I didn't tear!)  

 

Isn't this weird? With DS, he had a nuchal arm and I tore both ways (no stitches, though) with tons of skid marks. I had to sit in a half-filled bathtub to pee for the first few days. It was awful. But I was raring to go at 2 or 3 weeks PP and it felt awesome, if a little tender.

The second time, quick, ridiculously easy birth. Not so much as a scratch and it barely hurt to pee 2 hours after the birth! I didn't even use the peri bottle after the first day. But we waited several weeks to DTD, and it was painful, or at least uncomfortable, for months.

 

[Abraisme]

Not that I would, but my DH banned himself.  :/  I actually wish that he would be a little more interested in general.  If I show interest, he'll do it, but otherwise he seems to be okay without right now.  I really think that he's not that into pregnancy sex, which sucks, because I'm not that into pp sex (but I do it anyway)..  Booo.

I really wish that I could bring it up.  But my dh is really sensitive and isn't interested in sex unless he thinks that I am.  So, if I tell him that it's feels better now and that it's mediocre pp, he might be paranoid pp and want it less..  I dunno, I feel like I can't win here.
 

Originally Posted by TalkToMeNow 

J, I can't quote properly on my phone, but responding anyway. I cut out being on the receiving end of oral a while ago. I'm just not comfortable with it anymore for pretty much the same reason as you. Who knows what is going on down there?! Ha. Of course now I am realizing it will be many weeks after the baby is born before I am comfortable with it again. Sigh.
I do not like the baby moving during sex, either. I could do without sex right now. But I know it is important to dh and I try to be a team player! Plus, it can't hurt with getting labor going.

[IwannaBanRN]

Originally Posted by TalkToMeNow 

Well, on a scale of 1 to Super Sexy, the word discharge is about a -20. So I can see why he doesn't like it. I don't like it! I mean, can you imagine right in the middle, "Honey, that's certainly a lot of discharge tonight!" Blech!!!! 

haha Well, I am in agreement that the word is very icky, but I'm talking in general too. I don't even like saying it in conversation, face to face. lol
 

[KeanusMomma]

OMG I would never ban getting oral!! I have not, though, and am sure I won't be for awhile .

I broke up with the baby's dad in April (we were only together a few months). For some reason I didn't think it'd be much of an issue to be pregnant, that somehow I'd still get some action. As much as I wanted it, I unfortunately had an extremely difficult time getting it. I think my confidence was just shot, once my body started growing and changing, etc. I didn't have the confidence that made me attractive, plus I was so insecure that I just refused to risk rejection.

I finally got some on Halloween (yay!) after someone I know from work asked me out. I hesitated to say yes, because I don't need some dude complicating my life right now, but I do have other needs...he was really hesitant at first, because it was new to him (me being pregnant), but he finally decided to try it. It wasn't as good as I had hoped (I think my hopes were a bit too high--sex did not magically cure all my insecurities about my body, etc.), but I was certainly glad to have finally done it one more time before I have the baby.

It did not help at all that he admitted the next day that he had felt uncomfortable and wanted to wait until after baby to do it again. The good news is, we hung out anyway and ended up getting it on again (his idea!). I think I should spare the details, but I will say I felt much better about that time.

One website I found about inducing labor says that semen in vagina is good for ripening cervix, but ingesting semen is even more effective! We had to use a condom because I don't want to give the baby any STDs so even though ingesting semen is disgusting I gave it a shot

[2011mama]

We just went a little over two weeks without. (For most of the pregnancy we were just kind of settled at once per week, which isn't really OK with me but I'll take what I get. In the beginning he was convinced he'd make me miscarry the baby and by the time I got him used to that idea I was pretty big and I don't think he's really into it. He still feels like he's going to hurt the baby.) He wasn't initiating and I didn't feel like initiating and being rejected. Then the other night he made a comment about having to go six weeks without and how that was going to be hard and I flippantly said, "You just did one-third of that without batting an eye," and he asked what I was talking about and I told him it had been over two weeks. He didn't even realize. Suddenly at 1:40 a.m. (we're night owls LOL) I had a very interested husband! It didn't feel weird though except for trying to figure out how not to squish the belly or have the belly squish the bottom person. LOL

Edited by 2011mama - 11/3/11 at 9:14pm