Any single lesbian mothers or pregnant by choice or by chance?
I would love to see what other folks have to say on this subject, myself! I am set on having children, preferably in the next couple years. We are currently deciding whether my partner of 3.5 years wants to be involved in kids-ing, or whether we will be splitting up soon. So there's a good chance I'll be a queer single mama as well, though my sperm-maker of choice is interested in a co-parenting relationship, so it's a little different.
Hello. I was single at the time of conception, and am single with a 16 month old. I find that I dont really "fit" into lesbian parenting circles, most of whom have a strong bias toward "2 mommies" and there is NOTHING more invisible than a single mom. Totally pegged as a straight, single mom probably 90% of the time. That said, as far as parenting issues go, I am so happy not to be co-parenting with someone whom Im not involved with. Dating with a toddler is complicated. Im not looking for a co-parent, and yet, he is such an integral and central part of my life, theres no way to casually date... its a conundrum. I have a very strong support network, and recommend you get your "Aunties" lined up ASAP. I wouldnt be adverse to finding a partner, but soooo cautious, and would never (well cant imagine) sharing legal custody of my son. I think being single is a much bigger deal- identifier- than being lesbian at this point in my life. Sometimes I have a touch of sadness at the 2 mommies thing, and sometimes a bit resentful of the emphasis on it. Not to mention I finally got pg after TTC for a long time at the age of 45! So finding a tribe for us is a little challenging, but we hang with a mix of single moms, older moms of any stripe, and some lesbians with and without kids. Most women my age have allready raised their kids, so I did lose a few friends via lack of common interests. I freely admit to being horrible date material, cause I cant really think of anything resembling scintillating conversation anymore and am more than ready for bed (as in SLEEP) at the stroke of 9 pm! Your experience may vary of course, depending on your time and motivation, but be prepared for the shock of cold water on your social life! I cant repeat myself enough-- network NOW while you have the time.