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Any single lesbian mothers or pregnant by choice or by chance?

post #1 of 4
Thread Starter 
Hi, my name is Renee. I am 27 years old and currently 12 weeks pregnant with my first baby. My ex partner(of 7 years) and I tried for 2 years to conceive with zero luck. I went through fertility testig, used fertility drugs along with at home AI and in office IUI. Since the break up about a year ago I have dated both men and women. My last attempt at dating landed me this pregnancy. I requested that the father have no involvment and he has agreed. He's simply unfit and unable to give any emotional or financial support to my child. That's a bit of my story and I'm looking to meet other women like myself who are in similar situations.
post #2 of 4

Hi Renee!  Welcome and congratulations on your pregnancy!  Please feel free to join us over at the Queer and Pregnant board.  I don't know that we have anyone at this time who is in a very similar situation, but it's a very friendly and welcoming bunch of women.   

post #3 of 4

I would love to see what other folks have to say on this subject, myself!  I am set on having children, preferably in the next couple years.  We are currently deciding whether my partner of 3.5 years wants to be involved in kids-ing, or whether we will be splitting up soon.  So there's a good chance I'll be a queer single mama as well, though my sperm-maker of choice is interested in a co-parenting relationship, so it's a little different.

post #4 of 4

Hello. I was single at the time of conception, and am single with a 16 month old. I find that I dont really "fit" into lesbian parenting circles, most of whom have a strong bias toward "2 mommies" and there is NOTHING more invisible than a single mom. Totally pegged as a straight, single mom probably 90% of the time. That said, as far as parenting issues go, I am so happy not to be co-parenting with someone whom Im not involved with. Dating with a toddler is complicated. Im not looking for a co-parent, and yet, he is such an integral and central part of my life, theres no way to casually date... its a conundrum. I have a very strong support network, and recommend you get your "Aunties" lined up ASAP. I wouldnt be adverse to finding a partner, but soooo cautious, and would never (well cant imagine) sharing legal custody of my son. I think being single is a much bigger deal- identifier- than being lesbian at this point in my life. Sometimes I have a touch of sadness at the 2 mommies thing, and sometimes a bit resentful of the emphasis on it. Not to mention I finally got pg after TTC for a long time at the age of 45! So finding a tribe for us is a little challenging, but we hang with a mix of single moms, older moms of any stripe, and some lesbians with and without kids. Most women my age have allready raised their kids, so I did lose a few friends via lack of common interests. I freely admit to being horrible date material, cause I cant really think of anything resembling scintillating conversation anymore and am more than ready for bed (as in SLEEP) at the stroke of 9 pm! Your experience may vary of course, depending on your time and motivation, but be prepared for the shock of cold water on your social life! I cant repeat myself enough-- network NOW while you have the time.

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