Hey guys! Our kids are pretty cute, thanks :)
Lise, fantastic news about your FSH test! Surge yet??
Happy TWW, Cananny! We're TWW buddies. :) Love it!
Invitn - how's your cervix today? Any insemination news?
Carmen, awesome that KD will be here! Hooray! So what are you thinking about the HSG? Yay or nay?
Sky, yay for another month's insem! Good luck!
LezzyFam, how are you feeling about waiting until Jan/Feb? Is that okay by you?
rs11, I totally understand. I'm sure we all feel your pain. Urgh. It's so awful when we're feeling extra sensitive anyway, and then you get these announcements that just crush you. I'm sorry you had two unexpected pregnancies so close in your circle of friends and family. Try to just be genuine with your feelings, they are real and they are legitimate and you are not alone. I think sometimes you just have to allow yourself to be sad and angry and disappointed.
Afu, things are chugging along. Actually, time is really flying. My family just launched a new company/website/facebook page, so that's been insane. I realized when I read Lise's post that I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HOW MANY DPO WE ARE. How insane is that? I think we're 3 DPO, now that I've actually thought about it.
We were just told that they've moved our kids' transitionary period up, so now they're going to be gone every weekend until they transition home permanently. They weren't going to start weekends until NEXT weekend, we had plans for this weekend with them and it feels like they're already gone.
It's surreal; this morning I was thinking about what life is going to be after they're gone and I got this glimpse into my future where my life felt empty. The whole process of foster care is so unnatural. First off, CPS just drops off a kid on your doorstep with a garbage bag of possessions (if they're lucky), and no information. Literally, you know NOTHING about this child or children, and you're expected to parent. You're supposed to forge an immediate attachment, like it's perfectly normal to expect to love someone else's pissed off, confused, hurt, and scared kid. And if it's this hard for me... how hard is it on the little ones? And then, over time, you do grow to know and love them. It feels amazing when they begin to prefer you over strangers, when they come to you because they're hurt or scared or need comfort. They give you kisses at night, and feed you imaginary food off plastic plates, and you experience some big moments in their lives. But one day they leave your life forever, and all you're left with is an empty nursery that still smells like their shampoo and toys they didn't like and empty sippy cups in the sink and crumbs on the table... and no more kids. Once you become a parent, you aren't supposed to go back. But that's how it has been for us, and it just isn't right. It's so hard.
Ugh. I'm always such a downer! I don't know why you guys even keep me around, haha. Hope you all are well. I'll leave you with another picture of those darn kids, choosing pumpkins at the "Fall Festival" - if you can call it that in the desert of the southwest.