November 2011 Whatever Ladies Havin' Babies! - Page 2

[akind1]

Mom2one - sounds like good news all around! will you call little man Dax? - have to say I am partial to the name Gabriel myself :) glad he is good for you so far.(pray it continues!)

As for Baby blues, I don't really, but I think that has a lot to do with individual personalities - some are more prone to it than others. Now, I'm still emotional alot but it's like a hormonal emotional, not really blues-y

AnnieA - great news about work! love when things work out like that.

Norah is so good and easy - I hope it keeps up. she was fussy last night before bedtime, but I think it is partly gas, and partly me thinking she can't possibly still be hungry. (yet she continues to eat, the little piggy!) I think she is stocking up so she and I can get a good stretch of sleep. Not a bad thing, just means I am constantly nursing for the couple hours before bed. She's been waking around 3 a.m to eat, and again between 6 and 7. I really can't complain about that.

Oh, and a minor breakthrough for us, she's taking the paci, sometimes at least. I need her to have a way to soothe herself when I go back to work, and if she'll take the paci, it makes life a little easier for  DH, and may help in the car too. I think she'll eventually be a thumb sucker like DS, but she hasn't really found it yet. She will suck on her hands though.

How long did PP bleeding last for you all? Maybe because I'm doing too much, I still have days where I have some bleeding. But I may go a day without any. It's not major, just slightly more than what a pantyliner can handle. I bled for 4 weeks all together after my c-section, so not sure to expect more or less with this birth. I am hoping that since I'm with DD alot more this time that AF will hold off more than it did with DS. it returned at 4 months PP.

I need to see if the library has that book, it sounds really intriguing.

[MarineWife]

mom2one ~ Cool name!

I don't think I ever really had PPD, which is strange considering I have had clinical depression since I was 15. PP is one of the few times when I'm truly happy. The hormonal wackiness seems to have the opposite effect on me. I do have some sort of down days but not what I would call depression. I took placenta caps this time, too. Can't really say that they made a difference since I never really dealt with PPD before anyway.

Kat ~ I think my bleeding stopped completely during the 5th week. For weeks 3 and 4 I think I would go a few days with nothing or just a few drops and then it might pick up a little for a few days and alternate like that. I've been meaning to comment on how much you have been doing. You seem to always be on the go. That may make your bleeding last longer. Pay attention to it. If it gets heavy and/or you start to feel bad, you'll need to slow down.

And, remember, once you introduce a pacifier you cannot rely on LAM for BC even if AF does stay away.

[Baby_Cakes]

My bleeding lasted about 3 weeks, I'd say.  That 3rd week was so light though, some days I'd skip the liner.  I barely bled, it was wonderful!

DH still hasn't decided 100% about the vasectomy.  I think we're both sort of caught up on the "what if" if something happened to me (not like divorce, but like if I die or something horrible) and he remarries someone who wants their own baby.  And TBH, Finn is almost 12 weeks and we've DTD once.  So it's not like we're in a terrible rush to get things done, uknow?

[MarineWife]

I've told my dh something like that. What if something did happen to me or even if we got divorced, he may want children with someone else. He's much older so he doesn't see that ever happening. You never know, though. Men can make babies a lot longer than women can.

[AnnieA]

mom2one, great name! And congrats on a sweet baby boy...I don't think I said anything before.

akind1, my bleeding stopped at about 4 weeks but then I got my first PPAF at 6w5d PP soooooo not much of  a break for me. :( Just started a new cycle. I haven't started temping yet but I'm pretty sure I'm ovulating now. The first two AFs may have been anovulatory but I had a patch of EWCF about 10 days before AF started this past cycle. Need to get a new battery for my therm and start temping.

I am still walking on air over my job change! The actual work is going to suck but I am beyond thrilled that I will be home with DD for most of the day. The situation at her babysitter's is just not good for her to be in all day long. She has not gained the weight she needs to gain while in her care. Plus she needs to keep her fluid levels up so her shunt doesn't clot up and she's just not getting enough for her dr or me to be comfortable. She'll still go over there for a couple of hours a day four days a week but 2 hrs is MUCH better than 9 hrs a day. Plus I won't miss so many work hours with her doctor appointments. I can just schedule them during the day when I already have off.

Missing 5 out of 7 bedtimes per week is not going to be fun but I think it will be good for DD and DH to have that special time together. Right now, when we are home, I do 90+% of DD's care. So since DH will be home by himself with her, he will be forced to do her evening routine. And I will get to be with her during the day doing lots of fun stuff. 

I'm going to start doing parttime EC. DD has pretty consistent bathroom habits now so I think it will be pretty easy to do catches while we are home during the day at least.

Does anyone use a bumbo? I've always been opposed to them but DD wants to sit up and be part of the group but she doesn't have the stomach muscles yet to do that. I was thinking she might like to sit in the bumbo some?

[Baby_Cakes]

Originally Posted by AnnieA 

Does anyone use a bumbo? I've always been opposed to them but DD wants to sit up and be part of the group but she doesn't have the stomach muscles yet to do that. I was thinking she might like to sit in the bumbo some?

We do!  Finn likes it.  I feel like for 5-10 min he gets a different perspective, and my arms get a rest.  He's so over reclining if he isn't going to sleep, so his bouncy seat is starting to frustrate him.  I sit with him when he's in the Bumbo and play with him -- shake a toy, etc.  Today he's really starting to reach for things, willing his hands and arms to go where he wants them to!  It's so amazing!!

[AnnieA]

Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes 

We do!  Finn likes it.  I feel like for 5-10 min he gets a different perspective, and my arms get a rest.  He's so over reclining if he isn't going to sleep, so his bouncy seat is starting to frustrate him.  I sit with him when he's in the Bumbo and play with him -- shake a toy, etc.  Today he's really starting to reach for things, willing his hands and arms to go where he wants them to!  It's so amazing!!

Last night, I had DD in the Rock and Play thing and she kept trying to sit up and then she would get frustrated! I def wouldn't be putting her on the counter or the table or anything but having her on the floor getting a different perspective like you say might be good. Off to craigslist to see if I can find a good deal!

[**mom2one**]

Kat - Yeah I think we will call him Dax.  Isn't it great to have an easy baby???  Daxton is fairly easy too.  Compared to the girls anyway.  But I wonder if it has to do with me - I am so much more relaxed with everything - kind of like been there done that kind of thing.  I was saying that to Dh last night too - with your first you feel like you "have" to do everything "they" tell you even when it doesn't seem to be working!  For ex the "back to sleep" thing with DD 1 I was terrified to let her sleep any other way - but once she was rolling over on her own she NEVER slept on her back and she slept a lot better - with DS he sleeps mostly on his side and seems to sleep so much better that way.  SO I think that we are more relaxed with them which makes them more relaxed.  For pp bleeding - I am still bleeding (13 days), but like others have said some days it is very minimal and then I will have a day of heavier - and I have noticed that the more I do, the more I bleed.  

Carrie - I think it was you that were saying that you thought you had a prolapsed uterus or something like that.  I wonder if I have something similar - it feels like I have a tampon in - but it's not quite in there right.  I think that is what you had said you felt like too.  Did you get it checked and if so what did they say?

The V is a big decision to make!  For us I know that DH would not want any more kids even if something happened to me.  So if he decided to get it done that would be fine - me on the other hand I am not so sure.  I could see having more.  I could see having more with DH but he is DONE!!!! He was done at 2, but then accidents happen!  We are building on and it is quite a big addition to the house and he has joked saying - well we had one accident so I want to be sure that I have room for another accident!  

MW - hormones do strange things! lol My friend who is expecting has had problems with anxiety for years and the doctors said that the hormone changes might actually help that for her and she might not have to take her meds for it after the baby is born.  It might regulate her system some how. 

Oh - I have a friend who is trying to get started in photography and she wants to take some pics of Daxton for practice - she is getting all the equipment in the next week or so.  She wants to do the Anne Geddes style of pictures with him and then she has some ideas for pics of all the kids and even some family ones of all of us!  Best of all it is going to be FREE!!!  Since i didn't get them done while I was pregnant I am happy to get them now!

Oh - I have a sling for this baby - which I haven't had for my other two - they are AWESOME!!!!  I took the three kiddos grocery shopping the other day and it was perfect - he slept the whole time and if I needed something low DD1 was more than happy to help out.  DH was even using the sling the other night and he said how much he loved - and how much DS seemed to like it.

Better get some lunch while baby is sleeping!

[MarineWife]

I didn't know you could use a Bumbo so soon. I might have to get one. How long can you use it? My arms get very tried from holding D up all day long. He doesn't like to lay down or even recline much. He really likes to stand, which is even more tiring than holding him sitting up.

Can you get them at stores like Babies R Us or Target or do I have order it online?

[AnnieA]

Originally Posted by MarineWife 

I didn't know you could use a Bumbo so soon. I might have to get one. How long can you use it? My arms get very tried from holding D up all day long. He doesn't like to lay down or even recline much. He really likes to stand, which is even more tiring than holding him sitting up.
Can you get them at stores like Babies R Us or Target or do I have order it online?

I've seen them in Target, not sure about BRU. The ones in Target may not be the Bumbo "brand" but they are basically the same thing. I've seen ones called Bebe pod, not sure if I saw them in Target or not. I'm looking online because I'm cheap and don't want to pay retail!

[AnnieA]

Originally Posted by MarineWife 

I didn't know you could use a Bumbo so soon. I might have to get one. How long can you use it? My arms get very tried from holding D up all day long. He doesn't like to lay down or even recline much. He really likes to stand, which is even more tiring than holding him sitting up.
Can you get them at stores like Babies R Us or Target or do I have order it online?

Actually now that I think about it, if you had other stuff to order, I would buy it from diapers.com. They have free shipping for $50 or more and they ship FAST. My mom ordered my stroller from there on a Monday afternoon and it was delivered to her house at lunchtime the next day.

[Baby_Cakes]

The Bumbo is really only good for a few months.  Once they can sit unassisted it's not useful anymore.  And, we have chubby babies, MW, their legs aren't going to fit for long.  

Mom2one - I have a slight bladder prolapse and I think a slight rectal prolapse.  I don't think I have a uterine prolapse at all.  it's just the other two, lol.  I really should be doing kegels but honestly I forget and always have a kid on me, so it's hard to "find time".  I kegel at off times during the day but I really need to do it more religiously.  Maybe I'll somehow do it before/after using the treadmill, since I always find time for that.

[MarineWife]

While reading this book I've come to recognize some of my problems. I can't always figure out what to say or do to help my boys work out their problems. Like when Kellen is bothering Ethan. Ethan tells Kellen to stop, leave him alone, move out of his chair, but Kellen won't. Ethan gets mad and lashes out. It's frustrating for all of us. I've told Kellen other ways to get Ethan's attention but Ethan doesn't always answer him. Either he's busy with what he's doing or he's worn out from all of Kellen's attention seeking. I totally understand that because Kellen wears me out, too.

What do you do if you can't come up with the right words or if you don't really have any clue what's going on so that you can help?

[AnnieA]

MW, would you ever consider sending K to a morning preschool program? I wonder if his personality just requires more stimulation? It strikes me that you and E are very much homebodies and content to do you own thing for hours on end but maybe K needs more scene changes? Alternatively, are there activities that E and K could do together that perhaps you could start them on and then let them play on their own? For instance, when mine were a bit younger and they would start picking at each other, I could pull out one of our large Playmobil boxes and if I sat down and started playing with the toys (not really playing, just pulling stuff out and setting up scenes) then they would be curious and come over and join me. After a few minutes, they would have come up with their own game/storyline and I could get up and go get other stuff done. Then they would play with Playmobil for the next couple of hours with each other. Same with Legos, Zoobs, watercolors, etc.

[annie2186]

AnnieA - yay about your daycare situation!!! That is such great news!

mom2one - I love your boy's name!! and I hope he stays good for you as well. I am always hesitant to jump to conclusions about babies as well - because my DD2 was a perfectly easy going baby until colic struck about about 3 or 4 weeks  So I am always holding my breath for the first month or so.

MW - I don't have any advice to offer about the sleeping problem, and I know its not much of a consolation, but at least its only temporary. Everyone is going to get older eventually!  It's funny about the going going going until crashing. When J was about 8 months old my sister and her kids were staying with us for a few days but it was really cramped and loud so she wouldn't sleep (never has been, or will be a good sleeper!) I went downstairs in the middle of the day and she was just passed out, spread eagled, in the middle of the floor!! Even laying on top of toys Kids running around her and everything. It was hilarious - but it freaked me out at first. I thought someone knocked her out for real.

akind1 - I always bleed for at least 5-6 weeks. I actually think its because my blood type is O, and they are bleeders. That being said - this last one I had pretty good iron levels and did bleed a little less. I think with M I bled off and on for about 9 weeks. 

MW - I thought a paci was fine for LAM but not for ecological breastfeeding? I am pretty sure LAM only has these three conditions. 

1. Baby has to be less than six months old.

2. Baby has to be getting all nutrition from the breast, and not going longer than 4 hours during the day or 6 hours at night.

3. Mother has not gotten a PP AF. 

Either way - I think its a good idea to keep an eye on CM after the lochia (sp?) clears up.

The bumbo is pretty nice - but I doubt I would have bought it. It was given to me as a hand me down and I bought the tray that goes with it. My little one isn't so chubby so I plan to use it as a "highchair" at the grandparents house during the holidays.

Baby_Cakes - have you looked into Adiana? It is a permanent form of BC. It is similar to getting your tubes tied, but it is a pretty painless in office procedure. There was something similar called Essure - but alot of women were having a TON of problems with it perforating things or them developing an allergy because it had nickel in it. Adiana is just a little plastic device as big as a grain of rice - instead of a metal coil. 

Anyways - that is what I would do if I wasn't Catholic..........and almost did even though I am Catholic........and still might do 

I put K in school because she needed the stimulation. I just couldn't get out and do everything with her that I wanted too with being preggers and/or having little babies all the time. It was really hard to put her in and I'm not sure what I am going to do with the rest of them. But, she wanted to, and I remember wanting to go to public school when I was younger and never being able too. When I was in high school I really enjoyed being able to work, travel, and graduate early, but the younger years were hard sometimes.

That being said - public school is nuts!!! 

So, my sister brought up circing on FB yesterday. Wow - people are nuts! I guess I felt the same way when I first found out people weren't doing it, but if people were to actually research it they would come to the same conclusion I did. Genital mutilation is crazy and its just as wrong as female genital mutilation!! I almost want to have another kid to have a boy and leave him intact just so they can SEE it. But of course, I could probably have about a million more kids and they all be girls! ha ha ha

It was really funny because my OTHER sister was like "I guess I'm a baby torturer, but at least I don't give him milk!!" I guess she thinks I give my kids milk (which I only give them almond milk because the other stuff constipates them) and I guess hormone ridden milk is WAAAAY worse than ripping a baby's foreskin off 

Anyways - rant over! LOL

[MarineWife]

i'm actually in the process of considering tumbling type programs for K. i'm not interested in putting him in preschool. i have issues with any type of schooling. i'm not opposed to various individual, short classes, though, like the TKD that we do. the marine corps community services offers several play, craft and story times for kids his age. my problem right now is that most are too early in the morning for us. once D starts sleeping for longer stretches more consistently that won't be as much of an issue.

i also don't like to leave him alone in those places and sometimes it's an issue that i have a baby and a 7 year old with me. they aren't always accommodating to homeschoolers.

last thursday i took him to a preschool circle time kindermusik sort of thing that had tumbling afterward. he loved it. it was 2 hours long, though. it has been combined into one 1 hour class now so it's much more doable.

I've been doing a lot more with the homeschool group I've joined. K has a lot of fun with that interacting with all of the other kids. i can't entertain him all day or keep us out all day. i get too exhausted. the last few weeks we did at least one thing every week day and i was done. i just can't keep up that kind of schedule.

it probably sounds like i'm making excuses and trying to come up with reasons why i can't do this or that. i'm really not meaning to do that. i'm just sharing the types of problems i have experienced.

another thing i just read in the book that i'm having trouble with. one part says you can't set limits and take care of your child's feelings at the same time. i completely disagree with that. my goal is to set limits that take care of everyone's feelings.

[MarineWife]

If you guys remember, I complained for the first couple of weeks that D was sleeping too much and I wanted to play with him. Then week 3 came and he started being fussy at night and keeping me up. Ugh!

I'll look up LAM again but I'm pretty sure it says not to offer anything else for baby to suck on other than the breast.

I thought of another problem with putting K in preschool. That would be sort of just transferring the problem to someone else. It won't teach him or us how to deal with his behavior when we are home. That's what I need help with. It could even make the problem worse if he is pressured to behave a certain way there and doesn't get a release. Then everything comes out at home. That was my experience with Ryan when he went to school.

[MarineWife]

I looked up info on LAM. It says you must be fully or nearly fully breastfeeding. It doesn't say anything about using a paci. However, I think using a paci can disrupt breastfeeding on demand. Maybe if you still don't go more than 4 hours without feeding during the day and 6 hours at night it would still be ok. I'd be careful with that, though.

[AnnieA]

I have a bit of a different perspective on daycares/preschools because I worked in one for many years. Now it was a daycare that did preschool prep so that's a bit different than a preschool whose main focus is to get kids ready for kindergarten. The majority of the 4 yr old's day at the daycare I worked in was play. There were schedules, sure, but it was more to keep the day flowing than to try to restrict the kids. So there were times for free choice play, circle time where songs were sung, art time (which was usually when the "learning" would take place i.e. color the letter A), outside time, meal times, nap time. Some kids just thrive in that type of environment. On the other hand, I volunteered in DSS 10's 1st grade class and it was a mixed class group of K and 1st. That was definitely a structured sit down and learn school. There were 5 and 6 yr olds that were NOT ready for that and the teachers spent most of the day reminding them to sit down.

Another option may be a montessori program if you have any like that in your area. The ones around me typically have programs that are 9-11:30 M-F and that is usually enough time for a child to enjoy their activity and then go home and relax. Montessori programs are notoriously relaxed and very child centered. The child is allowed to decide whatever activity they want to do that day.

I hope you don't feel like I'm cramming this stuff down your throat but I just have seen many kids that are like putting a duck in water when they go to a daycare/preschool program. It gives them an outlet to learn, explore and be creative without wearing down their introverted parents. And from my experience, having the outlet in daycare vastly improves their behavior at home because they have had their needs met elsewhere. Does that make sense?

[AnnieA]

Annie2186, I can't believe that someone would compare drinking cow's milk to circ'ing...