~*~**~*NOVEMBER Pagan Families Circle!!!~*~*~~****~ - Page 2

[Maiasaura]

Originally Posted by DaughterOfKali   Oh my goodness, I know that feeling well.  It's so scary.  I really hope you can move to MA and get your ds more/better services.

The thing is, he has GREAT services...just, not connected with the school. They finally stepped up and suggested X,Y, and Z, but it's going to take awhile. Plus I just found out that sending him "to the office" isn't what I thought it was at all. They just send him to this room they call the "Comfort Inn", which is near the front offices, but not anybody's office, where he doesn't have any consequences for his behavior-- he just gets removed from the classroom so they can focus on the other 21 kids without him disrupting.

That does not solve anything. It helps the classroom flow better, sure, and helps the other 21 kids get their education-- but all it teaches ds is that he can manipulate his way into not participating in classroom stuff if he acts up enough. The Comfort Inn isn't even monitored. It's where they send sick kids to wait for parent pickup, or kids who can't concentrate to do work in a quiet room...it's not punishment. My ds will NEVER learn that it's not OK to act up if there are no real consequences.

[FeralFox]

Maia, I'm so sorry for everything you're dealing with right now.  I am continuing to pray for things to start going your way.

On my home front, things are going my way and yet...not.  Weird changes have come down from the highest authority.  I have been fighting them and fighting them, but I've been told in no uncertain terms that what I "want" isn't good for me or my family, and I need to wise up and head the opposite direction.  It's been weeks now, and I'm finally starting to find peace in following Her orders.  Hestia has spoken, so I'm wearing a skirt and covering my hair because she says so.  And it feels ok.  In fact, it feels more than ok, and I don't know what to think about that.

Also, for those who remember it, I got two more hours of work done on my back.  My artist thinks it'll be three more to complete the piece.

[witchygrrl]

Originally Posted by vydalea Witchy: how old is your LO for the first year of ToT?  I'm thinking next year we'll take Z to a few homes.  She got a kick out of having the kids come to her aunt's house so *maybe* she'll remember it next year?  What a blast.

DD was 3 years old in August. My MIL was shocked we took her out, that she was too small or something. Um, we live on a decent street in a decent town, and DH and I both went with her. She had a great time! But it's all individual, in my mind. DD was ready.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maiasaura 

It sounds lovely! I am so happy-- the showing service FINALLY just called and my house will be shown Saturday! OMG, mamas, please cross fingers or whatever. There has been NO traffic here at all! Maybe, just maybe, this will be The One

Good on you, on both counts! You go get'em, mama! Kick butt!
 

Isn't the first T'o'T so fun? What did she go as? Lemme guess....Owly?

Hope you feel better soon. I had to go get ds out of school Friday at 1pm for fever, and again yesterday at 10:30am. He was fine in between. I think it was just excitement. I can't believe they still get excitement-fever at nearly 11 years old! But whatever. If he's sick, I wish he would go and get full-blown sick and get it over with before I go see M on the 23rd!! And me, too. I thought I felt a twinge of chest-ick in the wee hours of the night. I hope it all gets over with quick. If either of us is sick, which, we're not at the moment.

redveg-- you will survive this! It's all good!

DS got a horrid report at school AGAIN today. I am so sick of this, mamas. I am going to be the one in the newspaper with the son in the orange jumpsuit...or the horrible auto accident. I am just so at the end of my rope. He behaved badly ALL.DAY.LONG. and doesn't see what the problem is

Yes, I hope this is the ONE, too!! Good grief!

Actually, DD was a pirate. We went as pirates, too, so it was fun to do that as a family. I think she wears so much stuff with owls on it, she wanted something different. And it's adorable to hear a 3 year old say, "arrrr, I'm a pirate!"

I wish I knew how to help with your DS. *hugs*
 

[redveg]

Originally Posted by vydalea 

redveg: When does DS go for this interview?  I am sure he will be the best him he can be.  Gosh, just thinking about it *I* get anxious for both of you!! bah!  You will be great, too.  You seem to be such a supportive, loving mama.  

Thanks so much mama:)  We go today, getting ready to leave in about an hour:)
 

Originally Posted by Maiasaura 

redveg-- you will survive this! It's all good!

DS got a horrid report at school AGAIN today. I am so sick of this, mamas. I am going to be the one in the newspaper with the son in the orange jumpsuit...or the horrible auto accident. I am just so at the end of my rope. He behaved badly ALL.DAY.LONG. and doesn't see what the problem is

Thanks:)  So sorry to hear about your DS.  I hope the school steps up and starts dealing with the issue rather than just leaving him unattended to chill and miss the lesson.  They need to come up with something different.  I can't believe they leave him alone in a room.  I would be having a meeting about that!

Originally Posted by Indigo73 

Thanks for asking about the papers... one is pretty interesting. It's on how Quaker women had a lot more freedom in colonial America... able to own shops with some regularity, instead of being an oddity like most of the colonies.  It's pretty cool.  First draft was turned in yesterday.

Unfortunately my paper on women & propaganda for my 20th Cen. Europe class is just not gelling.  The first draft is due today and it's only 2 pages long... I think I am on the right track now but just don't have the time to work on it.  I leave work for class in an hour.  Sigh.  I guess I am just going to have to take a hit on that portion of the grade and work on it this weekend... when I will also be working on yet another paper that is due next week.  Fun fun.

Wishing everyone a prosperous and healthy November!!!

It has got to be difficult to work and go to school.  I don't know how you do it! 

Originally Posted by FeralFox 

Also, for those who remember it, I got two more hours of work done on my back.  My artist thinks it'll be three more to complete the piece.

What are you getting?

[DaughterOfKali]

Maia- It sounds like he needs a special therapeutic program.  Therapeutic programs typically have fewer children (my son's class has a total of 11 kids.)  They need to teach 'expected' behavior, etc.

[vydalea]

Alright, redveg, it's 3pm as I write this.  I hope that the interview is over and you all are on your way to get some food and relax and take a deep breath that this portion is over!  Please let us all know how it went!  

Indigo: Your paper on Quaker women and their freedom is really interesting.  What happened to cause it to change?  I hope you find your groove on the other paper.  You are brave and amazing for taking numerous classes and working and mothering!  Especially classes with all these PAPERS DUE!  *whew!*

Originally Posted by FeralFox 
  Hestia has spoken, so I'm wearing a skirt and covering my hair because she says so.  And it feels ok.  In fact, it feels more than ok, and I don't know what to think about that.

Feral: I'm really interested in this comment.  Please, if I'm prying too much you can totally just ignore this and I will understand.  Are you wearing skirts and covering your hair for spiritual reasons?  I googled Hestia and see that she is the goddess of the hearth, that all hearths on Earth are her altar.  As the eternal virgin I'm assuming this is why she wears the head covering?  I'm just curious about her and what your take on this is.  If I have overstepped any boundaries I am not doing it intentionally! Just say, vy it's personal or nothing at all.  I'm just new so I wonder how other people interpret things, kwim?? Also, if it feels right then go with it, right? 
 

Originally Posted by witchygrrl 

DD was 3 years old in August. My MIL was shocked we took her out, that she was too small or something. Um, we live on a decent street in a decent town, and DH and I both went with her. She had a great time! But it's all individual, in my mind. DD was ready.

Sounds great to me, witchy!  Z will be 2 and a half next year and I think she will love it!  I agree, every parent and child are different - I'm just gauging if it's just me SUPER excited to get out there with her so I'm projecting readiness on her or if I'm kind of in line.  *thanks for the validation!* 

Maia: Who calls that room in your DS's school "the comfort inn" - I hate to say it but if I were in school I would do anything I could to go there.  To get away from my teachers and the hulabaloo of the classroom I used to have "stomach aches" all the time so much so they were worried something was wrong.  Do they at least send him with work?  I cannot believe there isn't a monitor there or anything.  BIG HUGS to you, mama.  I hope that this showing goes well and you can move forward.  

In other news, I woke up with a giant stick up my butt.  I'm wound super tightly today and so I'm kind of grouchy (not like me).  We're headed to a fancy pants wedding this weekend and Z is spending the night away from us for the first time.  I know she'll be fine and it's healthy for us to do this.  It's all just different.  It's also been a VERY long time since I was in a drinking situation like this and I was one who definitely used alcohol as a social lubricant...so I'm just kind of finding my identity as MamaKate but sans the Z as my distraction/excuse.  I'll be calling on the universe to remind me to just be who I am and remember the sanctity of the present moment.  *sigh* Gotta pull the stick out of my butt and put on my big girl panties.  hahaha.  

I hope everyone is enjoying this beautiful day.  

[FeralFox]

Redveg - How did it go??

Witchy - I don't think 3 is too small at all.  Badger is 3 1/2, and he had a blast this year.  We took him out last year, at 2 1/2, and while not as fun for him as this year he still clearly had a good time.  The two years before that we took him over to the mall, and then he ToTed at his grandparents house.  I love ToTing with him, and I dn't think it's ever too early to start.

Vydalea - Yes, I'm doing it for spiritual reasons.  There have been a couple of things holding us back.  One is my tattoo - I have felt strongly that we are not supposed to have kids until I get it done.  Everything has lined up, timingwise, to confirm that for me.  But lately Hestia (our household Gods are Kali, Hestia, and Hephaestus) has been showing me that I have swung too far in the male direction, and that it was changing me in ways that are not conducive to the kind of life we want to live.  I'm really non-normative, not purely trans in the way most people think of it, so "going girl" at this point on Her order is not out of the question.  I have learned over the years to trust the Gods and their directions, so though it was a bit of a struggle at first (you wouldn't believe the confused looks I get these days) I'm feeling increasinly comfortable with it, and at peace with the change.  At peace because of the change, even.  She wants me to learn a little modesty (something Kali started teaching me ages ago, this is just the continuation of that lesson) and to cover my head when I pray to Her - and since I should always be ready to pray to Her, my head should always be covered.

[redveg]

Thanks for thinking of me and my family all:)  It went well.  The campus was amazing, my DS really liked it.  His interview went well too.  He went in and was a lot better prepared than I thought he was going to be.  I guess he was keeping it all low key around us.  We will find out in December if he is accepted.  I tell you after that long car ride, which I hate, and the stress of wanting him to do well, I am so tired. 

Thanks again for thinking of us. 

I hope everyone had a great day.  I will be back tomorrow.  I am in serious need of sleep:)

[wombatclay]

Redveg- yay!  I hope he (and you all) get good news next month!

Maia- hugs chica, it sounds like the school is looking out for their own interests instead of your sons'.  Which makes sense from their perspective of course but you deserve so much more!  So many kiddos need more than they're getting, and not addressing that as soon as possible is just plain short sighted.  A stitch in time and all that.  And yeah that to thinking the comfort inn sounds sweet and not something that will teach your son that there are actual consequences to choices made in class... there's a short story about a crowded future earth in which people pay lawyers to keep them IN jail because jail comes with a private cell and three meals a day.  Sounds like this school fits that plot a little too well.  I hope the changes get put in place soon.  You deserve some peace of mind on this.

And speaking of peace.... sell baby sell!  Thinking thoughts for house sales!  Fingers crossed.  :)

DoK- how are you feeling?  I hope better, and I hope you didn't over do it with the energy needed for the Bazrefoot sale... I've still got a candle burning for your speedy recovery!

FeralFox- there is a thread in Spirituality for head covering pagans.  While I no longer cover all the time, it remains a "tool" in my spiritual toolbox so to speak.  For me, covering my head/hair was a practical and easy way to control the amount of energy I felt (like an umbrella or raincoat controls the amount of "wet" you get when outside in a storm) and a sort of physical shortcut or talisman for reaching a certain state of mind.  Although most people in North America/Western Europe tend to think of hair/head covering from a specifically judeo-christian perspective (so submission or even subjugation of the female to the male), headcovering is an ancient practice not limited to specific religious, cultural, or gender categories.  Given the relatively recent trend in "not covering one's hair" (for both genders) I tend to think the Divine are more used to dealing with people wearing scarves/caps/turbans/shawls/hats/veils/etc than not!  LOL  Anyway, search for the pagan headcovering thread, or check out the (mainly christian, mainly submissive) Cover-ed Girls thread for ideas and fellowship.

Silliness- I watched the movie Annie today and I found myself identifying with Miss Hannigan!  Ack!  I've got "little girls" stuck in my head though honestly it's not the three girls who are wearing me out, its the one boy.  I need either a bathtub full of gin (or even a sitz bath full of scotch) or some time off.  I'm thinking I might make a necklace like MissHannigans and use it as a reminder to keep a sense of humor.  Pagan prayer beads meet bathtub gin!  Brilliant!  LOL  Though really I've been finding the 1900s-20s really interesting these days, not sure why but it's cropping up everywhere.  The clothes, the jewelry, the music, the decore... it's all coming together but I still don't have a clue as to where it's headed.

[Maiasaura]

Originally Posted by DaughterOfKali Maia- It sounds like he needs a special therapeutic program.  Therapeutic programs typically have fewer children (my son's class has a total of 11 kids.)  They need to teach 'expected' behavior, etc.

I wish they had such a thing. We (the school and his counselor and I) had a meeting in which he was evaluated for "exceptional students" something-or-other, which is their catchword for special ed, but not a separate roomful of...I don't know what you would call them today that's politically correct. In my day, we called them "the retard class", not out loud, of course. But that's not what is going on with this eval. This is more like he can get one-on-one special services *in class*, paid for by the school, and who knows what else. Where were these services a couple years ago? Because they have those things through agencies, that you can get with insurance, or they did, BUT, his insurance didn't cover those any longer back then, plus the services were cut because of funding anyway.

And he knows what is expected of him. He either can't, or won't, or both, comply with it. He doesn't take any of it seriously. He thinks school is his playground-- as well as he thinks life is. He has never recognized any authority but his own. He will have the last word (or sound) or die trying. He just.does.not.care. Now, OTOH, he's a very polite, sweet, caring boy! He cares deeply when someone gets hurt, he holds doors for people, he has excellent manners, usually. He's like Jekyll and Hyde, my kid. No gray area at all. It's really maddening.

Originally Posted by witchygrrl Actually, DD was a pirate. We went as pirates, too, so it was fun to do that as a family. I think she wears so much stuff with owls on it, she wanted something different.

DS just discovered an Owly book at the library-- he's in lurve

Originally Posted by vydalea Who calls that room in your DS's school "the comfort inn" - I hate to say it but if I were in school I would do anything I could to go there. 
To get away from my teachers and the hulabaloo of the classroom I used to have "stomach aches" all the time so much so they were worried something was wrong.  Do they at least send him with work?  I cannot believe there isn't a monitor there or anything.  BIG HUGS to you, mama.  I hope that this showing goes well and you can move forward.  

EVERYbody calls it "The Comfort Inn". That's its name. It is right across the small hall from the main desk that you have to check in at when you come into the school--by the main door. I think the director's (principal's) office is right next door to it, but not sure. Also behind the main desk is another warren of offices for the main people of the administration. So it's not off by itself, but he's often there alone, I think, and YES, I totally agree that he's manipulating in order to go there. Yes, sometimes they send him with work, and he does get it done in there. Other times he reads his book. Which to me is a HUGE reward for misbehaving

Originally Posted by redveg Thanks for thinking of me and my family all:)  It went well. 

YAY!! Of course it did

14 days till my birthday and 20 days till I see M!

[FeralFox]

Wombat - That's exactly it, too.  When I have my cover on I feel like I'm sheltered and cushioned from the "noise" of the mundane world.  It serves as a reminder to live in my head and not my body - that the spirit is more important than the physical.  I feel closer to the divine when I"m covered, and especially to Hestia, who is stepping up and taking on the role of patron in my life right now.

[redveg]

Morning all:)  Thanks so much again for you kind words and positive vibes:)

The campus was very nice.  My first time being on one, college that is.  I have been so wrapped up in my children going away and how that is going to effect me, them, us, that I haven't stopped to think about how much stress and pressure my children must feel to get accepted at that school they have been dreaming of.  Yesterday was a huge shift for me, an eye-opening day.  I have been selfish in my thoughts and am thankful for my new perspective. 

It is so windy today! Last night we did not need to keep the fire going and this morning it is pretty comfortable in here still.  This weekend we will be finishing the wood stacking.  We need about 5 to 7 cord to get us through the Winter. 

Just a reminder the clocks turn back this weekend:)  Hope everyone has a good day.  (((hugs))) to those in need:)

[vydalea]

Feral: Thank you so much for helping me to understand better.  and Ms. Clay for your supplemental information (you're always so good like that).  I can really see how covering your head would help to shelter you from the noise of the mundane world - a constant reminder of what you are being mindful of.  That is excellent. I hope you decide to post more pictures of your tattoo (i think you posted them before ?).  Thank you for the reminder to be listening more closely - I can relate to the innundation of noise and energy.  

redveg: glad to hear that all was well with DS's interview and that you had a chance to digest (a little further) everything that is about to change in your life.  

Clay: a bathtub of gin sounds good and a week's worth of sleep.  You can fit that in your schedule, right?  

Here's to beautiful Autumn days which today is shaping up to be.  

[revolting]

Maia - Is there any chance of sending him to a different school or having his IEP changed (or whatever they call the education plans for special needs kids in your area)? Hugs!

Feral - So what kind of head covering are you wearing? I have to say, while I don't cover my head, I've always been very interested in it. I off and on look at Garlands of Grace for something. On the other hand, I live right next to a mosque, and I have a LOT of Muslim neighbors...I'm always worried about doing it in a way that won't offend or appropriating other cultures.

[Maiasaura]

Originally Posted by vydalea Feral: Thank you so much for helping me to understand better.  and Ms. Clay for your supplemental information (you're always so good like that).  I can really see how covering your head would help to shelter you from the noise of the mundane world - a constant reminder of what you are being mindful of.

Clay, great thoughts about the school looking out for their own interests. I am going to make an appt to see the asst.principal next week to talk about that.

Head coverings: I would think that they not only keep out outside influence, but maybe keep IN things you want to concentrate on? What kind of coverings do y'all use?
 

Originally Posted by revolting Maia - Is there any chance of sending him to a different school or having his IEP changed (or whatever they call the education plans for special needs kids in your area)? Hugs!

No way. This IS the alternative school! We just did an IEP and it takes forever. I don't think we find out anything till December.

[LionessMom]

i wore head scarves for awhile. it was what i needed for awhile. i lived in skirts too. it seemed right at the time. i think i needed it for a period of growth and introspection.

The kids were so cute in their costumes. they had a blast and only came home with some candy instead of a ton. so it was easy to get it out and over with. I tried to tell them about how the holiday got its origins but they only half heard bc they were too busy eating candy. lol. the 7 yr old listened though. she seems to be very interested.

i will try to keep up this month but i dont know how well i will be able to. so tired lately. hoping that eases up soon.

[redveg]

Morning all:)  Hope everyone has a great weekend.

[Maiasaura]

Oh, mamas....I am 99% sure that M got drunk today, and is passed out right now. Damn, sh*t, f**k

As for the showing, it did happen, but I have no idea how it went. Will let you know when I know something.

[FeralFox]

Maia, I'm so sorry.  I wonder if your house isn't selling because M needs to work things out on his end to make a healthier home for you?  Maybe it's better that you're where you are, and not having to deal with his drinking right now.  I'm sure it doesn't feel like a good thing, but this could be a case of the Gods knowing what's best for you.  I would hate to see you get hurt after selling your house and moving your whole life up to him.

My cover - I started with a wide headband, but quickly realized that that wasn't enough coverage.  A cheap white handkerchief from Michael's did the trick, but still wan't quite right.  I ended up buying a cover from Garlands of Grace.  It's white gauze with cream lace at the edges, and lace ties.  The picture on the website doesn't look how it looks on me because I have short hair (for now) but I really like it.  It feels right.

My tattoo - it's a large backpiece of Kali dancing on Shiva, with both dressed as punks, mohawks and all.  Shiva will stay an outline, but Kali is getting full color.

[Maiasaura]

Originally Posted by FeralFox 

Maia, I'm so sorry.  I wonder if your house isn't selling because M needs to work things out on his end to make a healthier home for you?  Maybe it's better that you're where you are, and not having to deal with his drinking right now.  I'm sure it doesn't feel like a good thing, but this could be a case of the Gods knowing what's best for you.  I would hate to see you get hurt after selling your house and moving your whole life up to him.

My cover - I started with a wide headband, but quickly realized that that wasn't enough coverage.  A cheap white handkerchief from Michael's did the trick, but still wan't quite right.  I ended up buying a cover from Garlands of Grace.  It's white gauze with cream lace at the edges, and lace ties.  The picture on the website doesn't look how it looks on me because I have short hair (for now) but I really like it.  It feels right.

My tattoo - it's a large backpiece of Kali dancing on Shiva, with both dressed as punks, mohawks and all.  Shiva will stay an outline, but Kali is getting full color.

Well....we consider ourselves married anyway, whether I'm here or there. I'm just really afraid he'll die. And before we get there, or just after. He's really sorry and shamed today, but I already told him I don't believe him and I'm not buying it and sorry means action, not words. I've heard that song and dance before.

Thank you for your thoughts, Feral I mean-- maybe you're right. He's actually on the way to a meeting right now and I think I do believe him. At least for the moment. That's all we really have, anyway. I'm so tired and hurt, and tired of feeling this way. He's mortified (again) that he's caused this. He told me that before, he would just drink and cause nothing but his own headache, but now he's got consequences because he's got me, and ds. I said anytime you want that back again, LMK, and I will bow out. He was like NO WAY! So...cross fingers. We only have today.