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November Chit Chat - Page 63

post #1241 of 1257

Jaimee that really sucks!! I wish I could offer some practical advice but all I can offer is some support and commiseration. Lets hope baby exits asap!

post #1242 of 1257
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaimee View Post

I had a break down this morning and cried.  I feel so frustrated that I put SO much thought and effort into figuring out who would look after my kids while I was in labor.  I asked for help... from my IN-LAWS and they are here and the baby is not.  I'm running out of time.  We're in a new state, it's not like we have a big support network.  I don't have other people I can call that will be able to look after my kids WELL.  There are, of course, people I can call, but they do not make me feel secure.  I want my MIL here b/c she can get ds back to sleep.  She can comfort my kids.  She leaves in a few short days.  And no baby.  So I cried and cried.  Thinking about how I had already lost having the expected early birth.  I have already lost a November birth.  I'm losing sleep every night b/c of my dislocated ribs that burn in just about every sleeping position.  Now I may lose a a birth where I feel comfortable with who is taking care of my kids.  And beyond that I am losing postpartum help each and every day that this baby is late.  gloomy.gif

hug.gif I'm so sorry, I wish I could help greensad.gif
post #1243 of 1257
Thread Starter 

Thanks everyone.  Dh tried to be helpful and called my mw.  She came over and attempted to talk to me.  It was... not good.  All she could come up with is babies come when they are ready and I need to try and relax and stop stressing about the timing with my in-laws.  Great.  Hadn't thought of that.  She offered to try and stretch and sweep again, which I readily accepted and totally shouldn't have.  It seemed like a positive thing- something to DO.  But she got up there and said I wasn't any more dilated, the baby seemed very floaty, I seemed thicker (I assume less effaced), and it was still so far posterior and mushy that she couldn't get her fingers through it still to do a sweep.  I can't help but think that maybe she's not experienced enough at doing sweeps or something.  I don't know.  It was horribly disappointing to hear that not only had all these days of more frequent contractions done nothing, but that she couldn't do anything up there either. 

 

She went on to tell me some story about how if they baby had come before Thanksgiving she would have been able to go visit her cousin she hadn't seen in 20 years and as disappointing as that was for her, she knows that it's 100 times more disappointing for me and that it can be very difficult to release that sense of control and just let go.  Why in the world would she tell me that story?  Not only was it about HER, but it's as if it's MY fault this baby isn't here yet?  I'm the one that needs to let go?  I'm the one that needs to relax?  I need to just give in and then the baby will come... She said more than once that it's most likely an emotional thing keeping this baby in.  That's like the worst thing you can tell a crying pregnant woman.  Obviously this is emotional!  But a week ago I wasn't emotional at all!  I was excited and positive and thinking things were moving along nicely.  Why didn't it come then?  Huh?  Really, really shouldn't have had her come over...

 

Time to eat some chocolate, watch re-runs of Friends and wallow while the grandparents are out and ds is napping.

post #1244 of 1257

Jaimee - wow. That was super unprofessional of your midwife. I am always shocked when people do/say such utterly thoughtless and selfish things. Especially a woman who's there to help another woman!  Has she never been pregnant?  Holy crap.

 

The overdue baby thing is so friggin' hard.  Yeah, I know that the "due date" is arbitrary.  I know that babies come on their own time.  WE ALL KNOW THIS.  But guess what.  We don't live in a world where it's convenient to be on baby time.  We don't live in a society that caters to our "overdue" pregnancies.  And it's really, REALLY hard and infuriating and heartbreaking and upsetting, and it's ok for you to feel this way.  It's normal and justified.  I couldn't relax about my late baby until my mom said it would work best for her schedule for baby to come about a week late.  Then I finally relaxed.  But you see, it was only because it worked with my family's schedule that I COULD relax!  That's messed up!  But that's just the way it is.  We need help, and help has it's own schedule, which is almost always different from baby's schedule.  Oh yeah, and I only have ONE baby.  You have THREE and your body is tired and sore and mentally you have been stretched past your limit.  I so feel for you right now.

 

I, too, had a couple stretch-and-sweeps where the midwife couldn't really do it because my cervix was still so closed/thick that she couldn't get her fingers in there.  Utter heartbreak.  Utter devastation.  Disappointment beyond words.  I understand.  I am so sorry.

 

I wish you lived close so I could come take care of your kids.  Seriously.  I'd do it in a heartbeat.

 

I'm sending you furious labor vibes, Jaimee.  Thinking of you all the time!

post #1245 of 1257
Thread Starter 

Aw, thanks Katie!  I really appreciate your kind words!  I was actually thinking of you just yesterday and remembering your fear, worry, and frustration about being risked out of your birth center at 41 weeks.  Now I'm rapidly approaching 41 weeks and though I don't have to fear being risked out of anything at this point, I feel like I'm on the same timeline in regards to my family help.  They are flying out exactly on my 41 week mark.  And, yes, I know that the odds are definitely in my favor that I'll have this baby before 41 weeks.  I'm really trying to focus on that... I'm just also disappointed about the lack of help postpartum.  Anyway, again, thank you for your thoughts.  I'm sure baby will come in the next couple of days.  I just need to breath.

post #1246 of 1257
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsKatie View Post

Jaimee - wow. That was super unprofessional of your midwife. I am always shocked when people do/say such utterly thoughtless and selfish things. Especially a woman who's there to help another woman!  Has she never been pregnant?  Holy crap.

 

The overdue baby thing is so friggin' hard.  Yeah, I know that the "due date" is arbitrary.  I know that babies come on their own time.  WE ALL KNOW THIS.  But guess what.  We don't live in a world where it's convenient to be on baby time.  We don't live in a society that caters to our "overdue" pregnancies.  And it's really, REALLY hard and infuriating and heartbreaking and upsetting, and it's ok for you to feel this way.  It's normal and justified.  I couldn't relax about my late baby until my mom said it would work best for her schedule for baby to come about a week late.  Then I finally relaxed.  But you see, it was only because it worked with my family's schedule that I COULD relax!  That's messed up!  But that's just the way it is.  We need help, and help has it's own schedule, which is almost always different from baby's schedule.  Oh yeah, and I only have ONE baby.  You have THREE and your body is tired and sore and mentally you have been stretched past your limit.  I so feel for you right now.

 

I, too, had a couple stretch-and-sweeps where the midwife couldn't really do it because my cervix was still so closed/thick that she couldn't get her fingers in there.  Utter heartbreak.  Utter devastation.  Disappointment beyond words.  I understand.  I am so sorry.

 

I wish you lived close so I could come take care of your kids.  Seriously.  I'd do it in a heartbeat.

 

I'm sending you furious labor vibes, Jaimee.  Thinking of you all the time!



Word. Especially on the three kids part. Because no matter how many times people say it's easier to take care of them when they're still inside, I did NOT find that true this time. Chasing two kids while in excruciating pain is WAAY more difficult than trying to keep up with them with baby strapped to my chest.

 

hug2.gif Jaimee. And mad labor vibes coming your way!

 

post #1247 of 1257
Thread Starter 

Thanks Michele!!  smile.gif

 

2whistle.gif  Nobody here? 


Edited by Jaimee - 12/1/11 at 3:51pm
post #1248 of 1257

I've been debating doing to the hospital...... Ugh! WTF is wrong with me? Those bumps turned into infection-like pustules. And with my history of MRSA, that scares me. They are on my stomach(where they are biggest) my arms, left leg and 2 on my chest. I have a fever of 100.5 also.

post #1249 of 1257

Yeah it's been super quiet here today! I've just been checking in from time to time to read posts but there hasn't been much posting! I don't have much to contribute. I'm just eagerly waiting to hear when everyone else gives birth. smile.gif

 

Oh wait, it's December now! We need a December thread! We should have a holiday pictures thread later in the month to see our babies dressed up in Christmas outfits, or any other holiday outfits that people might celebrate if different religions and whatnot. orngbiggrin.gif Christmas is my favorite time of the year. I'm so excited to have a child to share it with now!

post #1250 of 1257

Jaimee: *hugs* I just want to share that my first cervical check in this labor I was 8cm but baby was still -2 station. That was really discouraging, especially since I thought he had dropped. I did some position changes and sat on the toilet. No more than hour later I was complete and baby was born in maybe 20 minutes.

post #1251 of 1257

hug2.gif @ Jaimee

 

Becky - Could you call a nurse hotline or something? Do the bumps look like your MRSA did in the past? I hope you can get in to see someone and that it's just something minor and easily treatable. Maybe take some Tylenol in the meantime to help with your fever? I hope you can manage to get some rest while you're dealing with this. It has to be so difficult with three kids! I'm just taking care of one newborn and wondering how you ladies with multiple kids are balancing it all!!! You're supermoms!!!

post #1252 of 1257

I'm still reading along but usually don't have two hands to type, or much to say really.  Sorry to all the mamas still waiting!  There aren't too many of you, right?  I forget the last count.  

AFM we are doing well here.  Sleeping a good amount, so nobody is too cranky during the day orngbiggrin.gif  DH is totally rocking this paternity leave- he is cooking all the meals, doing the laundry and washing diapers daily, keeping the house clean and helping me whenever I need a nap, or someone to just take the baby so i can pee/shower/eat/rest/etc.  He's running errands and taking care of DS1 as well.  I have been able to take it easy, which is good because this recovery has been just a smidge more difficult than with DS1- physically I am a bit more sore- muscular and pelvic cage soreness- thankfully my perineum is doing great lol.gif.  I am pumping and nursing and both are going really well- we've worked out the nursing issues and I am a bit sore but it's getting better.  I am pumping for a mama of twins, which is great because it keeps my engorgement to a minimum.  I'm already at my pre-pregnancy weight, and that is something I am worried about.  I know it's not a bad thing, but I want to keep my energy up and I'm afraid I'll get too thin and feel rundown.  I lost the weight really quickly (2 weeks) with DS1 and I felt ravenous and lightheaded a lot.  I am trying to avoid that this time, but the weight came off in literally 5 days (that's what I get for being on a low-carb diet for 3 months and then birthing a baby that was half of my total weight gain) so I am increasing my fat intake to try to get enough calories. 

DS1 is still such a sweetie with Dylan.  He hasn't acted out against him yet, and is just a really great helper.  He loves on his brother and sings him songs- it's really great.  I hope it stays this way but I'm waiting for the fallout.....

 


 

 

post #1253 of 1257
Thread Starter 

Becky, I would get those looked at just to be sure.  Does anyone else in the house have bites?  Does it look anything like scabies?  You've had a recent round of abx, right?  Could it be a reaction to that?  Keep us updated!!
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by KaliShanti View Post

Jaimee: *hugs* I just want to share that my first cervical check in this labor I was 8cm but baby was still -2 station. That was really discouraging, especially since I thought he had dropped. I did some position changes and sat on the toilet. No more than hour later I was complete and baby was born in maybe 20 minutes.


Thanks Kali!  This is very encouraging to hear.  Especially since my mw seemed sort of surprised that baby was "floaty" still... even though I know it's perfectly normal for baby not to engage until labor starts and she's told me this several times!   I dunno, I guess this is the first instance I've had where I got too much information about my progress.  I've been mulling over it today and just keep thinking to myself that if our roles had been reversed I would have told my client that the cervix was very stretchy- maybe even said that it was stretching a bit further than last time even if it wasn't clear whether it was or wasn't.  I would also have omitted the part about being thicker and I wouldn't have mentioned that baby is floaty unless I added on something like, I'm sure it will drop when you're in labor.  I mean, is it so hard to give a mom a little encouragement?  And why can she not get through my cervix if it's 6cm dilated????  I just don't get it.

 

Okay... Joanie, you're right, it's December (unfortunately) and time for a new thread.

post #1254 of 1257

Jaimee- try not to be discouraged.  I don't think I shared anything about my birth, but I was 6cm and not effaced at all with baby at -2 station only 7 minutes before she was born.  Don't take that as an indicator of ANYthing, and definitely try not to be discouraged by it.  It sounds like maybe your midwife was having an off-day.  The way she acted was very unprofessional and not nurturing at all.

post #1255 of 1257
Thread Starter 


Thanks Ash... I'm sure it will be fine when things finally start. It's good to keep hearing that things can go, go, go at any point. I'm just trying really hard to stop thinking about my timeline, but it's hard. 

post #1256 of 1257
Quote:
Originally Posted by birdhappy85 View Post

hug2.gif @ Jaimee

 

Becky - Could you call a nurse hotline or something? Do the bumps look like your MRSA did in the past? I hope you can get in to see someone and that it's just something minor and easily treatable. Maybe take some Tylenol in the meantime to help with your fever? I hope you can manage to get some rest while you're dealing with this. It has to be so difficult with three kids! I'm just taking care of one newborn and wondering how you ladies with multiple kids are balancing it all!!! You're supermoms!!!


Yes. They look and feel like how my MRSA infections looked like, except alot smaller. I dn't know how I weathered today. I was able to clean the house and make food and have someone over, but I'm so achy and know that these bumps are not normal. The clogged duct isn't helping either. shrug.gif
 

 

post #1257 of 1257
Thread Starter 

Oh, Becky... I'm so sorry you're dealing with all this stuff!  Not fair!  ((HUGS)) to you!  Oh, and jump over to the December thread!

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