Bitter Sushi Ladies - November 2011 - Page 3

[monkeyscience]

milk8shake - Wow, that is surprising. But Down's is something that happens randomly when one egg is formed, so it shouldn't affect your chances of having that happen again. But yeah, not something you expect at your age. Although my cousin and his wife had a Down's baby when she was like... 19? I think. Anyway, don't feel like you have to go away!

AFM, nothing to report. No O, and now dh is out of town till Saturday. Wondering if I should just start the BCPs, or wait another 20-25 days to be certain I won't O this cycle. Not a lot of weight loss going on yet, but a little, and I feel healthier. SIL and babies are doing great - she should be off bed rest in a week, as she'll be 34 weeks, and they want her up and moving more before the babies come. Just trying to think of ways to stay busy until dh gets back.

Oh, and wissa - I think this may have been my screwup - LTB isn't on the TTC roster, but she also isn't on the BFP roster, either. I think maybe I was moving her last month and got distracted and didn't finish it? Anyway, she deserves to be on the BFP list! Also, MBA just had her babies!! 11/11/11 - Talulah and Susannah - so you could probably update her, too.

[wissa19]

Milkshake - The downs news does seem surprising given your age, but as other have mentioned it's really not that uncommon for it occur in younger mothers. I'm also surprised they can tell you sex...I really had not idea they could find out so much.  I think the one thing I took away from your news is that there wasn't anything genetic to cause the loss.

Monkey - Ummm, to wait or not to wait?  I say just go by your gut feeling...  Sounds like your diet changes may be working!  Keep at it.  Glad hear your SIL & babies are doing well.

I will update!  It seems I saw LTB on the BFP list at some point.

Me - CD 7 today...I think I going try acupuncture this month.  I figure it's not going to hurt anything (well except my wallet).  I need something to do while I'm waiting on this cyst to go down.  He says he has good results within like a month or two, so we will see.  At this point I think I would just like to try everything that way in the end if I don't have more babies...I won't have to wonder if I should have done this or that.

[monkeyscience]

Okay, so, being a super-stalker, with plenty of time on my hands, I decided to track down all the nearly or recently due BSLs.

After at least a solid hour of searching, I finally figured out that MahnaMahna changed her username to Code Name Mama, and hasn't had her baby yet.

Rachel88 hasn't been on MDC at all since May of this year, so no idea what is going on with her.

grahnola mum also changed her username, but luckily all the searching I did for MahnaMahna taught me some things, and I was able to find out more quickly that she is now GMum, and her baby girl was born 10/6/11. Not sure on a name.

borobaby thankfully did not change her name, and her daughter River Ann was born on 9/19/11.

justthinkn also has the same name, son was born 8/27/11.

That was waaaaaaaaaaaay more work than I anticipated!

[monkeyscience]

Oh, and because I hate myself:

In December 2010, when I joined BSLs, there were 35 other ladies on the roster. Of those 35:

-13 have had babies or are currently pregnant

-14 have disappeared - not on the BSL or the IVF list

-5 are still on the BSL roster, only one of whom (Kinza) has posted here in the last month

-2 aren't active here, but I see them on the IVF thread I stalk

Oh, and I noticed LTB ant lilmom were on that thread, but not the roster for some reason. So that would add one to the pregnant and one to the 'still here' list.

All this to say... it isn't my imagination that I've been left behind. Not that I would wish for a moment to hold anyone back with me, just that it makes sense why it seems different than before. Basically everyone who was there when I joined has graduated or disappeared. Not that I don't like those who have come in along the way - just that I'm not crazy for feeling like a relic here. Anyway, I think I will go do something less depressing now!

[Kinza]

Originally Posted by monkeyscience 

Oh, and because I hate myself:

In December 2010, when I joined BSLs, there were 35 other ladies on the roster. Of those 35:

-13 have had babies or are currently pregnant

-14 have disappeared - not on the BSL or the IVF list

-5 are still on the BSL roster, only one of whom (Kinza) has posted here in the last month

-2 aren't active here, but I see them on the IVF thread I stalk

Oh, and I noticed LTB ant lilmom were on that thread, but not the roster for some reason. So that would add one to the pregnant and one to the 'still here' list.

All this to say... it isn't my imagination that I've been left behind. Not that I would wish for a moment to hold anyone back with me, just that it makes sense why it seems different than before. Basically everyone who was there when I joined has graduated or disappeared. Not that I don't like those who have come in along the way - just that I'm not crazy for feeling like a relic here. Anyway, I think I will go do something less depressing now!

So I'm officially the been-here-foreverest, non-pregnant BSL?  Fan-freakin'-tastic!  Probably I'll continue to be here, because I don't think the IVF took.  So don't be too depressed, monkey, I'll still be here, too.  I was looking at the graduates thread earlier (because I hate myself, too), and noticed all the people who got their BFPs right in a row.  Now, it may be the progesterone I am on, because I have never been bothered by BSLs pregnancies before, but it just all seemed too much.  I still don't begrudge them their babies, it just seems like it should be my turn.  Oh, and only four embryos made it to freezable, six-day blasts.  Four out of 12.  I'm off to cry again.
 

[monkeyscience]

Kinza - I'm so sorry... I don't want to make you feel worse! But I'm not counting on you not leaving me in the dust until you get your beta done. So I will enjoy your company for another week, and then I will perhaps throw myself another pity party when you graduate, but I will be glad for you! Anyway, you might not want to read the rest of my post.

Since dh still hasn't called me and I'm feeling nice and masochistic, I dug up some more info:

calycanth, who is currently on our roster, actually belongs on our BFP list. She's due 6/23 (I actually found this out while doing the other research outlined below)

I also stalked down all the 14 of the disappearers. When I remove those who were actually never active on BSLs when I was, and add in LTB and lilmom, that makes 31 on the BSL roster about a year ago.

-15 (almost half) are pregnant or had a child, plus Tara2, who posted here about dropping temps in August, was pregnant, but she hasn't posted anything anywhere since, so not sure what happened. So maybe 16.

-8 have more or less disappeared (though I have stalk-y little details about all of them, none are provably pregnant)

-3 are still on the roster, but haven't been around recently

-3 are active on the IVF thread

-2 have posted here recently (Kinza and lilmom)

So now I will quit torturing myself and try calling my dh. If he knows what's good for him, he will answer the phone! (To clarify: I have no reason to think he won't answer the phone or is purposely avoiding me, he just doesn't seem to think of calling me!)

[wissa19]

Monkey & Kinza -  - It's hard not to have a pity party for yourself when all your hopes for TTC keep turning into disappointments.  ...Wish we would all get BFPs this month and that this thread could just be shredded or blasted away...

And I guess I should use all your  research /stalking and update!!

[monkeyscience]

Sorry wissa! I shouldn't be making more work for you!

I did talk to dh, and I feel better for having done so. I also sent out a message on Facebook to see if I can get together some sort of girls' night out this week.

[lilmom]

Milkshake- I'm so sorry. It must be terribly painful to find out details. It is also painful to not know details..I don't know what's worse. One of DH's friends and his wife have a Downs child, and I think they were both only 26 when she was born. So I guess it really happens at any age. I voiced some concerns to a former ob.gyn about 2 yrs ago about the risk of Downs over age 35 and he pointed out to me that honestly, it's not that huge of an increase. The risk is there at any age, but older moms do get more publicity and somewhat more risk I guess. Anyway, I am so sorry for all this hurt you are going through. I would think though that the chances of you having another Downs baby would be slim?? I often wonder about my little babe that I lost over the summer when I had my chemical. I also had a m/c years and years ago..it was terribly emotionally and physically painful, hard to talk about even here...so I have lost 2..and I wonder about those babies. Were they boys? Girls? What would they be like? I comfort myself with the thought that I will see them in heaven. And try not to think about it too much or it makes me very sad. Anyway, we all love you and support you.

Kinza- Sorry you are having a bad time too. But I haven't given up hope for you! 4 is not 0. 4 is better than nothing!!! And you're not out yet, right?! I guess you are the longest standing BSL and I am #2. Which really bites for the both of us!!! But we are going to get out of here and graduate too one of these days!!!!

Wissa- I say go for the acupuncture!!! I love love love acupuncture! And it did get me my precious DS! It took 4 months. The acupuncturist told me it would take 4 to 6 months and sure enough at 4 months in, I was pg with DS. A miracle. I really want to do it again but I just can't afford to go back to her right now. It's $85 per session and insurance doesn't cover a dime. However, if this clomid thing doesn't work out I may just do it.

cbaa- I hope we both get blessed by Christmas too! I am taking just 50mg CD 5-9. And (gasp) I am not doing monitoring since I don't have a doc since we moved yet. I know I need to find one quickly. but I am just going for it. I think it will be ok. Actually I feel super hopeful. I know I probably *should* wait until I have a doc..but who knows how crazy or long my next cycle might be, and I have the meds..so I'm just doing it. I'm also taking royal jelly. So, we'll see what happens! I'm really not sure if I should try to find an RE or if I should try to find an ob willing to do VBACs who will also help me with fertility issues. What does everyone think? I'm on the fence. I'm going to discuss with a good friend of mine who tried for 2 yrs before getting her twins and see what she thinks..she probably has a good recommendation. Anyway, I hope your US goes well!!

monkey- It's easy to get down on ourselves. And yes, you may be the 3rd or 4th longest-standing BSL...But so what? Statistically speaking, the odds are good that you WILL graduate sooner or later and have a baby. You've said yourself you KNOW you will. I think you will too. I think I will too. I think Kinza will too. And we are the 3 still here. Who knows why we are still here. Milkshake too by the way, although she is technically on hiatus. I believe she was here when I came along. But we just have to get through it. And we will get through it! Remember that LTB tried for FOUR years. My mom tried for SIX years before having me and then had 2 more after me as well. It can happen. There's no reason it shouldn't happen. As you can tell, I am feeling hopeful and trying to pump you up too! .... Also, I think that some of those people who just disappeared may have given up. Well, you're not a quitter, right? I know I'm not. So that's why we're still here and they aren't. Or perhaps it was too difficult for some people to keep coming back. Maybe our group wasn't what they needed. But we are getting out of this thing with a bundle of joy. Gotta keep believing it. Yep, I am in cheerleader mode today.

AFM, I just want to say that I am very proud of myself for not having a total breakdown after going back to our old church and seeing our old friends. I say that because EVERY single couple we are friends with there have had a baby since we left. That's right. Every single one. 2 couples even had 2 babies since we left. So, we are the only ones who don't have a baby, and we are the only ones who still have an only child (except for one couple who had their first baby just over a year ago and don't have another one yet. But I'm sure they will soon.) I did ok. But I did hate it for my son, who doesn't understand why everyone his age has little siblings and he has none. I took him to the playground today and he was swinging a pretend baby on the swing. "see mommy, now I have a baby to take care of too, like everybody else does"...Heartbreaking for me. Please Lord, let the clomid be just the thing.

We have been having major drama with DH's family, and I am really hoping we can get that all behind us fast so I won't be so stressed while ttc this month. I'm going to try to be very relaxed and take care of myself. I'm trying to cut back on my carbs/sugar but I am having trouble. : (  Need to do better. It would probably help me to lose my weight!!! Sigh.

[Kinza]

Monkey, it's not your fault I decided to get upset!  It just hit me all at once that I've been here a long time, and was trying a long time before I joined here.   Anyway, it was interesting to see your research, because it did make it more clear that most people will get to graduate at some point.  So, I may have posted my negativity too soon.  I started itching last night, the same way I did after my HCG trigger shot.  So this morning I tested and I got a faint positive. (I stopped itching from the trigger Sunday 11-6 and tested negative 11-7, so the HCG from triggering was definitely out of my system.) So I think things are looking up.  I'm definitely pregnant right now, I'm just worried about between now and around when my period will be due.  After the worry of a chemical ends, I guess I'll have the first semester to stress over.  So.  I don't really know what to do.  I saw the positive and started crying, then called my husband and told him, but now what?  Do I look forward to pregnancy or stay terrified?  I guess one nice thing about being allergic to pregnancy hormone is that it's something tangible that can clue me in.  Also, the test this morning was with about fourth-morning urine because I got up many times laws night to pee.  Anyway. 

[wissa19]

Monkey - Updates completed...you can check my work.

I guess everyone has left us behind...We are the tough ones and we aren't given up! lol  I know I haven't been on this thread, but for a couple of months.  However, I've been trying for 2.5 years!!   So, I guess in a way you could say I'm still here too.

lilmom - I like the cheerleader you!  Yes, I know they act like the world will come to an end if your cycle is not monitored...You know what I say to that Blah, Blah, Blah and whatever.  If are going to over stim you will do it whether they are actually watching or not.  I say Go for it the time is right.

[beautifulnm]

Hi ladies..

dreamed last night of POASing,

this morning I got a faint BFP..  tentatively excited..

bbs are huge and twinges of nausea, hoping they are good signs and my hcg gets to where it needs to be..

[wissa19]

beautiful - A faint line!!  Wow that is exciting...That makes you our 2nd BFP for November!  Maybe your good news will spread.  Keep us posted. 

Edited by wissa19 - 11/15/11 at 12:43pm

[beautifulnm]

I hope so wissa.

[monkeyscience]

Actually, Kinza is our first November BFP!!! (I think you may have cross-posted with her, wissa! So congrats to both Kinza and beautifulnm!! (On my phone, so no smilies.)

[wissa19]

What!  How did that happen?...I did not mean to leave Kinza out of the Congratulations. Her post was really just not there!!???

Kinza -  ... WhooHoo.  2 lines!!!  I know you're nervous, but you got this far! 

Yeah, for 2 BSLs BFPs this month!  Grow little babies grow! 

[Milk8shake]

Originally Posted by Kinza 
 So this morning I tested and I got a faint positive.

Originally Posted by beautifulnm 

this morning I got a faint BFP..  tentatively excited..

I think this thread needed some good news, so great timing ladies!  Congrats to you both for a h&h pregnancy

[Milk8shake]

Also, just re: the Downs news, a couple of things.   I would welcome a Downs baby just as I would any other baby, and the potential for Downs in the future is not of any major concern. 

As far as I can see, the risk is about 1 in 1200 for my age group.  I guess I have some shock around being in the 1% with RPL, the less than 1% with a unicornuate uterus (about 0.06%), and the less than 1% with a Downs diagnosis.  I'd like to be in the majority percentages for once. 

Having said that, I am feeling very lucky at the moment, as I just learned that one of my brother's best mates, a kid I have known for years, fell four metres from a ladder at work the day before yesterday.  He had emergency spinal surgery, but currently has no feeling below the waist.  He's 24.  I cannot begin to imagine what he and his family are going through.  The doctors have told them to expect the worse - paraplegia - although I guess it will be several days, if not longer, before they can be sure. 

As much as I feel like life has been unfair to me, I feel pretty grateful for what I have right now.  I know some of you are pretty godly.  If you have any spare prayers, I'm sure he'd appreciate them. 

[CA Country Girl]

Congratulations Kinza and Beautifulnm!  

Wissa- I also say go for the acupuncture.  My BFP was also after about 4 cycles of acupuncture (like lilmom shared). 

Glad to see some more luck here.  Hope it keeps coming for the rest of you ladies.

AFM,

Got the first u/s yesterday- saw a fluttering heartbeat and measured a couple days ahead of estimated.  Happy and slowly gaining confidence.

[toothfairy2be]

Congratulations Kinza & beautifulnm Such happy news to come back to! 

I hope this thread is looking up, it would be nice to not need a BSL thread anymore, right?

Had my ultrasound & trigger yesterday, left side 2 follicles 19.6 and 15.6, right side 2 follicles both just over 15. I'm not sure why they had me trigger yesterday when last cycle I was at 19 & 20 on the right and they had me wait another day... well, whatever, right? I got my first bruise... a little teeny one from the trigger shot, sadface.