Ooooh Bad Mommy!! « Back to Group Discussions

[Mama2ChicknLil]

I bought a swing. It's the Cadillac of baby swings...music, mobile, millions of settings, and DS freaking LOVES it! He would sit for hours in this thing if I would let him staring st the spinning animals and being rocked to sleep. We figured out he loved it when my sister and I took him to Target (standard family outing) and nothing could get him to stop crying not even the boob. My sister put him in one of the display swings and he immediately called down and even smiled. So I have to admit I have used the swing when groceries have to be out away, when I haven't peed in 5 hours, or when he is just so fussy nothing I try helps and I feel terrible!! Mommy replacements are depressing! I have learned, however, that parenting is about doing whatever you need too do to get through...disposable diapers, microwave, paper plates, and now the damned swing...I'm way more mainstream than I imagined I could be!! :-(
Anyone else skimping on their ideals?
Bad mommy!

[scsigrl]

Not bad at all.  Seriously, you do what you have to do to make it work!

We have a swing, bouncy seat, play mat.  Unfortunately DS2 hates them all :(  Or I would totally use them.  He hates all baby carriers too. So ya know, whatever! lol

[scottishmommy]

Which one did you get?

[Mama2ChicknLil]

some fischer price contraption that cost me like $175...single most expensive thing I bought for this kid!! Worth every penny though!

[NC05]

Originally Posted by Mama2ChicknLil 


Anyone else skimping on their ideals?
Bad mommy!

We use a pacifier. My oldest would take one and sucked his thumb and it was awesome! Thumbs are free and you can't lose them in the middle of the night or drop them on the walmart bathroom floor. My second is a binkie baby and it drives me nuts so I was determined to never ever let #3 use a pacifier. Um, yeah. Not so much. I try to limit it, but he is not a calm baby like #2 was, so we use the pacifier to make it through 'the evening fussies'. I had to remind myself that there are worse things than a binkie baby, like me crazy and crying and stressed out from a fussy baby. 

If it helps you to be a good mom, then it's probably ok. :D

[Gracecody]

I have a Fisher Price contraption too, but it only cost me $35 on Craigslist. It's the papasan cradle swing and it allows me to get a shower! I don't feel the slightest bit guilty about that. We also have a chair and a play yard, both are convenient and safe places to put Luke when I need my hands for other things. It never occurred to me to feel guilty about these things. I haven't taken the leap to trying a paci but have considered it for sure. We just went to the grocery store and Luke cried half the time in there despite being in the wrap and then being taken out of the wrap and held. We had to go in a room in the back and nurse before leaving the store. Since Luke has had some issues gaining weight I feel like he needs to spend all his sucking time at the breast, otherwise I would have gotten one a paci for car trips at the very least. And would have felt darned guilty about it! Neither of my other two would take a paci so it wasn't even an option for them.

I am definitely skimping on my ideals with my 3 1/2 year old daughter, she is watching a TON of TV lately. Sigh. This too shall pass!

[Mama2ChicknLil]

Oy...yeah we do the pacifier too. I refused to give him one until the IBCLC I saw for help with the bf drama told me it would be a good idea because he is a comfort nurser and we are contending with crazy OS

Needless to say...I love pacifiers too

[scsigrl]

I would prefer a binky that can be taken away over fingers/thumb.  DS1 is a finger sucker and I hate it!  No, he can't lose it but I can also never take it away!  Add that to the food allergies/Cleiac disease, it's a vector into his system and I hate hate hate it!

DD never wanted anything. Still doesn't.  No blanket, sucky, toy. Nothing.

DS2, I think he'll take a bink if we got him one.  I figured it was the same with nipple confusion and figured I would hold off till at least 6 weeks.  Thing is, he can't retrieve it himself so it isn't like "Here, cork it and be done with it!" because you still have to get it for them at this age.

Anyway, I refuse to say sorry for anything I do parenting wise.  Nope.  I do what is best for my family and if you don't like it/it isn't crunchy enough for you/ you think I am wrong, you can just suck it :)  And have a nice day ;)  lol

edited for terrible typo's!  Geesh!

Edited by scsigrl - 11/1/11 at 7:07pm

[NC05]

Originally Posted by scsigrl 

Anyway, I refuse to say sorry for anything I do parenting wise.  Nope.  I do what is best for my family and if you don't like it/it isn't crunchy enough for you/ you think I am wrong, you can just suck it :)  And have a nice day ;)  lol

well said!!! Life is too short for mommy guilt!!

[mamareba]

Oh I so needed this thread! I have been having swing guilt, but my dh tells me not to worry about it.  I know he's right, but I can't help but worry that Im ruining her ability to fall asleep with me just rocking her in my arms.  But, I get so tired and depending on how many naps she takes a day, I can't do that rock, sway routine that lasts 30 minutes or more, every single nap.  The past couple days she has fallen asleep in my arms a couple times, so I feel like everything is okay! We have started using a paci too! I felt better when I had read that at this young age the babes aren't really forming habits that will stay with them.  And luckily for us, it seems that she doesn't want the paci all the time, it just works when she is overtired and can't calm down.  

Glad, once again, to hear that Im not alone! 

[Mama2ChicknLil]

JUST put baby in his swing with his pacifier (he just got an awesome bath, ate and is very full), and he is falling asleep. I want to thank you all for making me feel ok about that
I'm going to take advantage and watch some tv...can't remember the last time I could pull that off.

Caviat? The swing is right next to me

Thanks mamas!!

[rareimer]

Originally Posted by scsigrl 

Anyway, I refuse to say sorry for anything I do parenting wise.  Nope.  I do what is best for my family and if you don't like it/it isn't crunchy enough for you/ you think I am wrong, you can just suck it :)  And have a nice day ;)  lol

Yes this!!!!!

The swing is used a lot in our house.  When you have two other kids, and housework, and meals to be made, etc etc, not to mention eating, peeing, an occasional shower...it is a godsend!  I never put her in it unless she's getting ready to fall asleep, and only when I just can't rock her all the way to sleep because something else needs to be done.  And during the day she naps in it, because it's the only way she'll nap for any length of time.  I don't feel guilty.  Sometimes I worry that she'll get too used to sleeping in it, but as my BF keeps reminding me, when they're this little, just do what works.  There's plenty of time to establish routines later on, right now we just need to go with the flow.

[kathrineg]

When we got the swing I was super exhausted and we got a bright pepto-bismol pink one instead of the nice neutral green! I guess we really needed it...!

I started the pacifier when Sam had to be under the bili lights in the hospital. I didn't feel bad for a second because it helped him so, so much. He is also a comfort nurser and I have oversupply so...yeah. The pacifier saves our lives on a regular basis. Sam often sleep in the cross cradle position, an inch from my nipple, with a pacifier in! It's pretty funny.

The biggest compromise for me was having my partner do a lot without me. I just can't function without a minimum of sleep--I get incredibly sad and can't take care of Sam properly. I feel really bad about it

[Mama2ChicknLil]

Oh Katherineg that is so funny, Kai does the exact same thing!! He will sleep with the pacifier in his mouth so long as my breast is touch him somehow, it's actually pretty freaking cute

[Dolifre]

I ran out to Walmart last night to get a bouncy seat cuz I thought my arms were going to fall off from bouncing her...best 22 bucks I ever spent!

We were also given that Cadillac swing, but my baby won't have anything to do with it!  Yet she loves when we swing her in our arms...oh well, I'm sure  things will change in like 10 minutes like it usually does!  Maybe she'll dig the swing at a later time...

I have also found myself giving into things I thought I never would-paper plates, bottled water, disposable diapers, ...at least I am still sane! 

[Mama2ChicknLil]

Ditto dolifre...if you had told me when I got pregnant that I would be using paper towels and have all but given up recycling I woulda have very self righteously insisted I could handle it. I actually thought cloth diapering would be easy (we live in an apartment with pay machines shared by 40 units...um, yeah, delusional).

[Mommel]

Originally Posted by kathrineg 

 

He is also a comfort nurser and I have oversupply so...yeah. The pacifier saves our lives on a regular basis. 

This is me too. If I don't stick the paci between the boob and his mouth some nights he ends up throwing up all over me and himself and is even more miserable, so the paci is the main thing that I've compromised, but I also wanted to keep him from seeing the television/computer for the first two years of his life and that hasn't happened either... but I get SO bored sometimes so I watch TV and sometimes he faces the television. I feel like I should go cold turkey and just give it up. Also, I had committed to cloth diapers and just bought two gDiaper hybrid covers and a pack of disposable liners, but I did it because the cloth diapers have a snap system that isn't very adjustable and he was getting welts on his legs and back from the elastic on the one-size pocket diapers I have for him and the gDipes are much gentler on his skin. I had to start pumping a lot earlier than I wanted to as well because contrary to my intentions, taking a baby to classes is not as well tolerated as I had hoped and I have to leave him with grandma while I'm at school. 

Bottom line: I've compromised a LOT of what I thought I'd do as the perfect mother. I have come to accept that I am a GOOD mother, a KIND mother and a LOVING mother, and that has to be good enough because PERFECT just ain't gonna happen in this world!!

[mamareba]

Originally Posted by Mommel 

Bottom line: I've compromised a LOT of what I thought I'd do as the perfect mother. I have come to accept that I am a GOOD mother, a KIND mother and a LOVING mother, and that has to be good enough because PERFECT just ain't gonna happen in this world!!

YES! 

[Mama2ChicknLil]

I am convinced the new goal is not to be perfect mom, or even good mom...I'm just trying to be good ENOUGH mom