Anyone else skimping on their ideals?
We use a pacifier. My oldest would take one and sucked his thumb and it was awesome! Thumbs are free and you can't lose them in the middle of the night or drop them on the walmart bathroom floor. My second is a binkie baby and it drives me nuts so I was determined to never ever let #3 use a pacifier. Um, yeah. Not so much. I try to limit it, but he is not a calm baby like #2 was, so we use the pacifier to make it through 'the evening fussies'. I had to remind myself that there are worse things than a binkie baby, like me crazy and crying and stressed out from a fussy baby.
If it helps you to be a good mom, then it's probably ok. :D
I have a Fisher Price contraption too, but it only cost me $35 on Craigslist. It's the papasan cradle swing and it allows me to get a shower! I don't feel the slightest bit guilty about that. We also have a chair and a play yard, both are convenient and safe places to put Luke when I need my hands for other things. It never occurred to me to feel guilty about these things. I haven't taken the leap to trying a paci but have considered it for sure. We just went to the grocery store and Luke cried half the time in there despite being in the wrap and then being taken out of the wrap and held. We had to go in a room in the back and nurse before leaving the store. Since Luke has had some issues gaining weight I feel like he needs to spend all his sucking time at the breast, otherwise I would have gotten one a paci for car trips at the very least. And would have felt darned guilty about it! Neither of my other two would take a paci so it wasn't even an option for them.
I am definitely skimping on my ideals with my 3 1/2 year old daughter, she is watching a TON of TV lately. Sigh. This too shall pass!
I would prefer a binky that can be taken away over fingers/thumb. DS1 is a finger sucker and I hate it! No, he can't lose it but I can also never take it away! Add that to the food allergies/Cleiac disease, it's a vector into his system and I hate hate hate it!
DD never wanted anything. Still doesn't. No blanket, sucky, toy. Nothing.
DS2, I think he'll take a bink if we got him one. I figured it was the same with nipple confusion and figured I would hold off till at least 6 weeks. Thing is, he can't retrieve it himself so it isn't like "Here, cork it and be done with it!" because you still have to get it for them at this age.
Anyway, I refuse to say sorry for anything I do parenting wise. Nope. I do what is best for my family and if you don't like it/it isn't crunchy enough for you/ you think I am wrong, you can just suck it :) And have a nice day ;) lol
edited for terrible typo's! Geesh!
well said!!! Life is too short for mommy guilt!!
Oh I so needed this thread! I have been having swing guilt, but my dh tells me not to worry about it. I know he's right, but I can't help but worry that Im ruining her ability to fall asleep with me just rocking her in my arms. But, I get so tired and depending on how many naps she takes a day, I can't do that rock, sway routine that lasts 30 minutes or more, every single nap. The past couple days she has fallen asleep in my arms a couple times, so I feel like everything is okay! We have started using a paci too! I felt better when I had read that at this young age the babes aren't really forming habits that will stay with them. And luckily for us, it seems that she doesn't want the paci all the time, it just works when she is overtired and can't calm down.
Glad, once again, to hear that Im not alone!
The swing is used a lot in our house. When you have two other kids, and housework, and meals to be made, etc etc, not to mention eating, peeing, an occasional shower...it is a godsend! I never put her in it unless she's getting ready to fall asleep, and only when I just can't rock her all the way to sleep because something else needs to be done. And during the day she naps in it, because it's the only way she'll nap for any length of time. I don't feel guilty. Sometimes I worry that she'll get too used to sleeping in it, but as my BF keeps reminding me, when they're this little, just do what works. There's plenty of time to establish routines later on, right now we just need to go with the flow.
I ran out to Walmart last night to get a bouncy seat cuz I thought my arms were going to fall off from bouncing her...best 22 bucks I ever spent!
We were also given that Cadillac swing, but my baby won't have anything to do with it! Yet she loves when we swing her in our arms...oh well, I'm sure things will change in like 10 minutes like it usually does! Maybe she'll dig the swing at a later time...
I have also found myself giving into things I thought I never would-paper plates, bottled water, disposable diapers, ...at least I am still sane!
This is me too. If I don't stick the paci between the boob and his mouth some nights he ends up throwing up all over me and himself and is even more miserable, so the paci is the main thing that I've compromised, but I also wanted to keep him from seeing the television/computer for the first two years of his life and that hasn't happened either... but I get SO bored sometimes so I watch TV and sometimes he faces the television. I feel like I should go cold turkey and just give it up. Also, I had committed to cloth diapers and just bought two gDiaper hybrid covers and a pack of disposable liners, but I did it because the cloth diapers have a snap system that isn't very adjustable and he was getting welts on his legs and back from the elastic on the one-size pocket diapers I have for him and the gDipes are much gentler on his skin. I had to start pumping a lot earlier than I wanted to as well because contrary to my intentions, taking a baby to classes is not as well tolerated as I had hoped and I have to leave him with grandma while I'm at school.
Bottom line: I've compromised a LOT of what I thought I'd do as the perfect mother. I have come to accept that I am a GOOD mother, a KIND mother and a LOVING mother, and that has to be good enough because PERFECT just ain't gonna happen in this world!!