Advice needed: thinking about taking DS out of public school

[mamanoish]

I originally wanted to homeschool both of my kids. DH is on board with our youngest (with a DX of ASD) but wasn't on board with our oldest. After many discussions about it, I decided to let him start in a public school with the option to pull him out of we didn't like it. 

Well, I don't like it... and neither does he.

His teacher is fabulous. She's a very kind, understanding and patient woman. But DS is just miserable. He is a very social and active kid and is finding it impossible to sit through school days. As a result of this, he's ALWAYS in trouble. Everyday he comes home and tells me his card was turned over (to red) because he was talking, not listening, not paying attention, didn't finish his work, etc etc. I've met with his teacher over it and she says he is a very smart kid, more advanced than others and "appreciates that he is more advanced so she can focus on the kids who aren't." Well, I think this is where the problem lies. 

My problems: I work PT. DH and I work seperate shifts to keep our youngest out of daycare. This means he'd have to be on board with HSing because he'd being doing some of the work with DS a few days out of the week. 

Another thing I'm really unhappy about is the things he is picking up from other kids and even things he's picking up from lessons! Last week was drug free week. They showed several videos of kids smoking/doing drugs and did lessons asking the kids to identify drugs/alcohol/cigarettes-etc. They asked DS to go home and tell people in his life who smoke, drink or use drugs to stop because he loves them and doesn't want them to die. OK. I understand the message here, but he's FIVE YEARS OLD! DH was at the dentist and prescribed pain pills for an infected tooth, now all of the sudden DS thinks he's a junkie! Yet they sent home a permission slip to see if DS was allowed to watch the president speak a few weeks ago. I am just utterly confused and infuriated to be honest. 

I really want to make this work for our family and pull DS out. Does anyone have any advice for getting DH on board, or advice for making it work in our family? I'm really unhappy with his school and so is DS. I drag him out of bed every morning.. and we're one semester into kindergarten. 

[Luckiestgirl]

Ideally, you would get your dh fully on board.  But even very structured homeschoolers I know (we're unschoolers) often find they can finish their formal lessons in 2-3 hours a day (because they don't need to spend all that time on "class management" stuff).  So even if your dh is only willing to spend "his" time taking the kids to the parks or museums or what not, and you're willing to orchestrate the more formal stuff, it seems doable.

I hope I'm understanding your situation correctly.

[moominmamma]

My dh wasn't totally convinced at the outset either. But he was willing to let me give it a try and then we would jointly assess how things were going after a period of several months. Decisions can always be reversed. If homeschooling is not working kids are always entitled to be re-enrolled in school. In our case, and in almost every similar case I can think of, the skeptical partner was on board and enthusiastic about homeschooling before the trial period was up.

I homeschooled my three older kids and currently have an 8-year-old working at an advanced level. We spend less than an hour a day on structured academics. The rest of the time she just plays, socializes, explores, participates in life, crafts and creates and such in an unstructured, self-directed fashion. She's progressing just beautifully. If you are under the impression that you will need your dh's complicity in creating a tiny replica of an 8 am - 2 pm school day in your home, you can rest assured that nothing of the sort is required. If you can pluck five to ten twenty-minute blocks of time out of your week -- whether they're on weekday mornings or weekends and evenings doesn't matter -- to do whatever snatches of basic literacy/numeracy work you feel is required, you'll probably find that to be more than sufficient. The remainder is just a question of including your child in your life and providing a nurturing environment within which he can explore and learn and grow.

Miranda

[brennatsi]

I second Miranda.  I have a five-year-old who is great at sitting down and listening to teachers.  However, pulling her out of public school was the best thing I could do.  Even SHE learns best when she has lots of play time and friend time and can decide when to learn and what she is interested in learning.  And now that every day isn't a struggle, she is excited to learn again.  Even after a few weeks in kindergarten, she had to decompress for a bit before she was ready to learn at home.

Try it out for a while and see what your DH says then.

Good luck!