Thanks for the support! I am not sure how to highlight specific portions of a comment so I just copied this from minnowmomma's reply:
"When people who are unrelated want to be called by an honorary title it needs to be earned not given because you feel pressured"
because this is exactly how I feel! I do feel like Pop is an honorary title. My Dad gives me so much in his life, he is a really great dad- and I love him being my son's grandpa. He earned that title! And dh's dad also is a good dad to dh- and our dads give us so much and love and raised us- they are our son's granpas. this other guy- I don't think he is really a bad or creepy guy- I think he just pisses me off so much that he just assumes this intimate relations with ds- or with me. Not unsavory intimate- I don't think he is creepy in that way, but just assuming he can have that relationship with my son because he married dh's mom- I think it is wrong.
As for MIL- well she is not always mean to me. She had a really rude out burst to me that I mentioned above, and she does have some issues with me. but at other times she can be kind too- she is a good and nice person but we are just butting heads on some issues. but she is SO offended that I won't let this one go! I know I am not perfect with her- dh and I had some challenging living situations this year and there were some times where we had to stay with her, in a place of hers, and she had to do some things that were going out of her way for us- and I guess I wasn't as grateful to her for her help as I should have been. We have this weird dynamic where perhaps I expect too much from her- assume she can help us out when I need her, because I am used to my own parents being helpful people to me without any guilting me- and since we needed MIL because of some living space challenges- and she is in the same town and my own parents are in another state, we leaned on her hard and I guess put her out some. So I guess she actually resents me for it and I guess I can see her side of the story. But still- no matter what I totally agree with the part I quoted as that is really what I am getting at.